


All I Want

by riehull



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Injury Recovery, Kid Fic, Mild Sexual Content, One-Sided Attraction, Oral Sex, Past Rape/Non-con, Pregnant Sex, Romance, Sexual Content, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-18 12:59:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 78,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2349272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riehull/pseuds/riehull
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let me tell you a tale of Natalia Hawke. A beautiful, shy and kind-hearted mage, who, with an entire city falling apart around her, falls unexpectedly and irrevocably in love.....with a self proclaimed mage hater, ex-slave and warrior, Fenris. <br/>The elf himself would never have thought to love anyone, didn't look for it, but it happened nonetheless. She changed his world, for the better and he overcame his hatred, step by step, together.<br/>They've never been happier.<br/>However finding out she's fallen pregnant, Natalia has to confront feelings she had thought long buried, never mind having to tell Fenris he's going to be a father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Definitely Not a hangover

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously cannon divergence, I've always adored Hawke and Fenris so I thought I'd get my thoughts out there. Errors are my own, forgive me if there are any, please be nice what with this being my first posting! I own nothing in the bioware universe.

"Wha....not again!" thought Natalia Hawke as her stomach rolled for the second time in a row, and then couldn't help but retch uncontrollably on a now empty stomach, having lost the battle to keep anything in it moments before. Gripping the blessed bucket, thankful that it was close to hand as she had very little time to reach for it upon waking first thing this morning, she waited until this last bout was over and sat back on the bed.

Blaze her Mabari hound, snorted and lifted his head, tilting it at her and whining. "Yes Blaze, I'm not feeling too great." At which point he wagged his stub of a tail and rested his head on her thigh as if trying to offer comfort. Hawke absent mindedly patted his soft fuzzy head and he huffed back. 

"I'm definitely not hungover....I did have the flu the week before last...but I haven't felt right for a while...hmmm...first time I've vomited though, and no one else is complaining about feeling off colour.... _ **oh!**_..flames!" 

She deposits the now offending bucket on the floor by her feet and continues to sit there in a daze, working things out and trying (and failing mostly) not to panic. 

Then it hits her like a mabari up the face. If she didn't feel sick before, the realisation of her probable condition makes her feel very faint indeed so she lays back on the bed, the dog moving off her.

After many shocked minutes, trying to get her head around the most likely cause, she gives herself a small shake, mentally and physically and after checking her cramping stomach has settled enough, scoots from the bed, standing unsteadily gripping the bed post for support.

"Well, I guess I need a second opinion before I even think about talking to Fenris." she mutters to herself. 

"Oh! Fenris.....I need to make sure there's anything to discuss before I even approach you about it!" Glad that he had not stayed last night due to an errand he had to take care of first thing, he'd left before she'd fallen asleep, leaving her with sweet soft kisses and a promise of her favourite sweets when he came back later that day. 

Hawke shivered in the warmth of the room. Yes their relationship had deepened beyond her wildest dreams, they shared so much now and they both knew how much they loved each other, but this - this might be too much for him to take. They'd need to discuss this sooner rather than later if she was pregnant.

Sighing and running a hand through her hair, she got washed and pulled on clean robes, ready to head out, not feeling up to breakfast. 

There really was only one person who could confim the diagnosis. However, things between her and Anders had been strained since, well....since she chose to be with Fenris. 

She had known the healer had strong feelings for her, and perhaps it had been a bit cruel looking back, but the emotional limbo she'd been suffering after Fenris left had her confused, desolate and lets just say not entirely emotionally stable.

Up until that moment, Anders had been her closest friend, and she mistook that for something more. Had felt a despair so deep and therefore reached for what little comfort she could, but when it came down to it, she realised that it had always been Fenris and so she had refused his advances. 

The realisation she loved Fenris had made it feel wrong and even being in the same room with him somewhat a betrayal. 

So Anders had stormed out, and since then she had tried to make it up to him, but nothing she could say or do could bridge the gap that now existed between them. They were barely friends, a cool remote connection now existed when once it felt she had at least found someone to perhaps ease the pain a little from losing Bethany. She had found an easy and open friendship in him, able to talk about magic for once. It hurt so much that the one person who understood her from the start was so closed off and out of reach. 

But she needed a healers opinion. It would most likely mean further heartbreak for them both, her from losing more of her friend, and him because it would be more evidence she didn't love him the way he wanted her to. 

Hawke was a healer herself, but a more specific diagnosis was required, so no alternative was available to her.

So having cleaned up and now fully dressed, she pulls on her boots, grabs her staff and sets off downstairs. Blaze her mabari jumps off the bed and closely follows her.


	2. Mabari's and Punches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People shouldn't surprise you

As Natalia made her way downstairs, she headed to the the kitchen and picked up a pastry Orana had made last night, just in case her stomach decided to unlodge itself from her throat. She also grabbed something for Blaze, if it wasn't enough, there was always the market.

The trip into Darktown was non eventful, actually made it to the the clinic in good time, but as she approached the lights weren't lit and the two doors shut tight. Before her and Anders had fallen out she would have knocked incessantly until he woke up, opening the door with a scowl which brightened upon noticing her grinning holding up cake as a peace offering, but with things being as they were now, he might not appreciate it this time round. Anyway he might have been doing underground mage type things and no one would want to interrupt that, but it was also a concern for her. Anytime she saw him he was looking tired and edgy, he clearly wasn't eating properly either, but Hawke had no idea how to approach him to see if things were okay and if he wasn't getting in over his head.

Huffing into the still quiet entrance, running her hand through her black hair, Hawke moved up to the stairs and settled down to wait it out, nibbling on the pastry to curb the slight hunger she now felt. Blaze cocked his head at her and whined. "I know, I know, I'm being stupid, its just so very awkward, and it doesn't help with you staring at me! You can't make me go in there, I'd probably get a lightening bolt up the arse! Why don't you go and see if you can catch a rat or a nug.....not sure they have those down here anyway...I don't know how long I'll be here." 

With that Blaze gave a soft excited bark and flew up the stairs "Just don't scare anyone!" Laughing to herself, it didn't take much to keep him occupied.

What felt like a few minutes later, Hawke jerked awake, nearly taking a nose dive off the stairs. "Woops, must have been more tired than I thought." Groggy with too little sleep from the short nap, she rolled her neck trying to get the kinks out. It wasn't a good idea to fall asleep given the area she was in, and where in the heck had Blaze gotten to?

Pushing off the wall and standing up wearily she checked if the clinic was open but all stood as still and quiet as before. "Here goes, nothing for it - I guess I will have to disturb him, its not like him to not be open by now."

Before she set one foot in front of the other, there was a nervous cough behind her, then a warm hand clasped her shoulder. Whirling round to her left, her right fist clenched she utterly failed to see the scruffy blond hair and oh so familiar face until it was too late.

Thwack!! Her fist connected painfully with his cheek - Fenris would have been proud - her blue eyes widened in shock as she realised who it was and that the force of the punch had propelled him backwards. Small packages flying in all directions. Flailing around, arms windmilling wildly, he didn't really have any option other than to grab something solid, unfortunately it just happened to be her.

"Oh, this is so not going to end well!" she thought to herself. As he fell, time seemed to slow and as she toppled over she landed quite painfully on him, both hit the deck with a collective "Oof!" 

Laying there, taking a moment to figure out if limbs were indeed intact for the both of them, Hawke pushed her hair out of her eyes, trying to gather an apology, there was a movement in the corner of her eye. As it came into focus, it took on the brown shape of said missing Mabari who at the moment was running full pelt towards them.

"Blaze No!" Anders, get up!" As his startled brown gaze widened he too looked back to see the large hound making his way to them. "He hasn't seen you in ages and is way too excited!" Again Hawke commanded Blaze to halt, this time getting through to him, he halted and was now a wriggling mass of energy. "Seriously if he was anymore excited, he'd either pee himself or wag his tail off!" Ah, catching herself and glancing down, she noticed the wary guarded look Anders was giving her. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I really didn't know it was you, are you okay, I hope I didn't hurt you?" Scrambling up, trying not to make it any worse, she brushed off her robes and held out her hand.

The guarded look was still there, but as she thrust out her hand again in silence, a pleading look in her eyes, he sighed heavily and took it begrudgingly. 

Both back on their feet, Hawke picked her staff up off the floor and proceeded to help Anders pick up the supplies he was bringing to the clinic. "You don't have to do that 'Tali." Completely shocking her with the nickname he hadn't used for what seemed such a long time.

"Oh....it's the least I could do, after hitting you and making you fall....um...sorry about that again....do you need me to check your face?...you really shouldn't sneak up on someone like that....in Darktown...really...." She trailed off, the gift of coherent speech running for the hills altogether.

Again his gaze widened as he realised what he'd said, to gloss over it he bent again to pick up the remaining packages. "Oh. Sorry....um can I ask what you're doing here Hawke?"

"Yes, about that, why don't we go into your clinic and we can check your face, my hand and I'll help you put the supplies away?" Her eyes held no anger or bitterness, only regret and a little hope that he would invite her in.

"Okay....let me open up...and we'll take it from there." He gestured for her to take one box so he could get the keys from his belt. After relieving him of it, he moved to the door and unlocked the clinic, moving aside to let Hawke in first.

"Blaze, you wait out here like a good boy" she called over her shoulder.

The familiar smells of elfroot and lyrium that she always associated with Anders assailed her once again, causing a knot of upset to lodge in her throat. It had been a while since she'd set foot in here, having to rely on her own magic when she could, Anders rarely went on escapades with them anymore. Not all the memories of this place were good or happy, especially when she had nearly died from her injuries after defeating the Arishok. The feeling of drifting away came back to her, of being cold, the worried looks of Fenris, Aveline and Isabela as Fenris had carried her into the clinic, his moss green eyes filled with worry verging on blind panic.

Anders had worked so tirelessly healing her, and she'd be forever grateful he was there for her. 

The memories she did cherish were those hours filled with potion making, happily working together like a well oiled machine healing the sick or injured. Oh, she missed him so! The fact she was once again in familiar territory made the sadness over her damaged friendship become too much and combined with her current worries made her burst into loud messy tears.

"Andrastes knickers 'Tali! Whatever is the matter? Please, please stop crying! This isn't like you at all!" His plea fell on deaf ears as Hawke stood there with her head in her hands showing no hint at stopping. He quickly gathered her in his arms and muttered random platitudes, rubbing her back - anything to stop her crying! 

"Now, why don't you take a seat and we'll see to your hand, can you do that for me?" He asked, worry evident in both his voice and eyes as the tears slowly receded leaving her hiccuping and wiping her eyes with her sleeves. "Yeah, that would be good - oh, I'm sorry for all this, I have no idea what's come over me, maybe I should go!" Her embarrassed stuttering reply only made him sigh in exasperation as he ran his hands through his hair. "You obviously came here for something, please sit down and let me see to your hand and we can talk if you want too?"

"Okay, but I'm still sorry....." She then went and sat down on one of the small cots, tucking her robes by her side, resting her staff against it too, swinging her legs nervously, her reddened eyes watching him as he gathered the now slightly dented packages after dropping them (again) in shock at Hawkes uncharacteristic outburst and placing them on the opposite cot.

He takes a deep breath and kneels in front of her, taking her hand, and she feels the instant his healing magic flares to life, its soft glow familiar and welcoming. As soon as he starts to check her hand, he suddenly stops, looks up at her with those warm brown eyes, now wide with shock and with a breathless gasp "Hawke....I - don't know how to say this....but you're - you're pregnant!!"

"Oh!"


	3. Confessions of the Heart

"You already knew didn't you?" Then why come to me, to rub my nose in it? Just leave please, I've things to get on with." Came the harsh response.

"No! No, nothing like that at all, I mean I knew something was up, I've been not been feeling myself for a while now, and I was late...you know...late, I've never been regular...but it was unusually so. Then I just thought that you would know for sure, being a much better healer than myself, and with experience of this sort of thing so yes, I came for confirmation...which I now have. I would never be that cruel and you know me, I'm not like that, no matter what's gone on between us!" Hawke pleaded, her voice thick with emotion, grabbing both of Anders hands, her eyes filling with tears again.

Looking down at their hands, he hesitates for a moment, then looks back up at Hawke and away again. "I - yeah, I'm sorry for saying that, it was unkind of me. I'm just a bit stunned, of all the things you could tell me, I never thought this would be something that would come up "Anders, help, my leg's hanging off!" maybe, but not this! We haven't really talked or spent time together like we used to and for you to come visit out of the blue is out of the ordinary in itself.....so it's kind of rattled me a bit - of course I'll help in anyway I can. Its what I do." He smiles up at her, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

Searching his gaze intently she takes a deep breath as if to steel herself "If you want to help me we really need to clear the air once and for all, and before you say anything I am keeping this baby even if I don't have a Maker blessed clue about what I am doing. I know you hate the choices I've made in the past, and you hate Fenris, but I love him, and I'm sorry that I don't feel the way you want me to for you. I cannot even begin to tell you how much it kills me that I hurt you, I wasn't emotionally stable - that's no excuse I'm aware, but we need to get past this somehow and move on if we can."

Another hiccuping breath. "Truth be told I miss you so much, I miss my best friend, I miss my brother, and I want him....no - I need him back, please tell me if there's anything left to salvage?" she takes another shuddering breath, tears now flowing freely. Hawke closes her eyes as if to ward off his response. 

There's not a sound for at least a full minute apart from her rasping breaths, so she opens one eye cautiously to check he's still there. "Of course he is stupid, he can't go anywhere without his hands!" The death grip in which she now has them ensures he couldn't escape if he tried.

All she hears is a muffled sob, then is enveloped in a warm, unexpected hug as she's nearly knocked off the small cot. "Oh Makers balls! I never wanted you to feel like this, I was just so upset after you kissed me then spurned me! I thought that you felt the same for me, that you loved me. Perhaps I knew deep down that you were still hurting after Fenris....that I wasn't who you wanted and my jealousy took over. I didn't think, all I knew is I wanted you, and took my chance. If I had thought I'd be losing you completely....maybe I wasn't in my right mind, we both weren't - but if I didn't do anything I'd never know how you truly felt. Maybe it was a mistake, but had to take that chance." Tears were evident in his eyes as he pulled back to meet her gaze, his voice husky.

"I guess I do now eh?" With a wry chuckle he gives her back a small pat and stands up. "I think I've come to terms with the fact you don't love me, not like I want, but I've missed you too, and if its just as a best friend again, I"ll take you any way I can. Just don't expect me to suddenly like Fenris. I can't pretend that he and I are friends, not even close. In the interest of civility, all I can promise is that I"ll try not to be a git." Shrugging, with the ghost of a smile he met her blue gaze again, this time with warmth in his eyes.

Hawke composes herself, reaching into one of her pockets for a handkerchief, finding a clean one, wipes her eyes and blows her nose noisily. Hopping down from the cot she puts the hanky away again. All this to stall for time of course.

"Things won't be like they were will they?" She asks in a quiet voice looking at him, waiting for his reply.

"No, no they won't, but now we've had it out, we can start to build our friendship back up again, not saying it'll be easy but I want to try. How did you get pregnant....I - I mean I know how!" His face lights up bright as a beacon at this. "I thought you took a potion? Anyway, we don't want the little one to come to any harm do we? We also need to talk about you fighting, when to stop and all that, but you'd need to discuss that with Fenris. You need to look after yourself now, its not just your life. I'll make something up for nutrition and another to prevent stray magic harming you both, maybe Sandal can make a rune up to enchant your robes?" 

"You also need to tell Fenris - today, as I'm sure he'll not like me being the first to know either." He starts to open the forgotten packages, taking out small bundles of roots and herbs sorting them out.

At Anders question, Hawke flushes red too and stutters "I do take a potion, but I remember one tasted different than usual, maybe I used old ingredients for one, I really can't be sure. Its too late to start hashing over what could have gone wrong. Yes I know I have to look after myself more especially now." With an exasperated sigh she asks "Can you give me the once over, check things are okay?"

"Gladly" His magic flares to life again and he places his hands over Hawkes stomach. After a minute or two declares "All fine, you're both in excellent health, I would say its early days yet, maybe about a month along, give or take a few days. I"ll make up a few potions for you, take both once a week and come back to me for more when you've finished them. Now go tell Fenris.....but if you ever need to talk, about anything, you know where I am."

"Will do, and thank you." Hawke graps his hand. "Really thank you for understanding. I guess I can't keep fighting like I have been, but yes I will speak to Fenris about what we both want about that....I just...I'm just a bit scared of his reaction."

Anders automatically squeezes her hand back and states "Everything will be okay. If he managed to win your heart, then he musn't be totally hopeless, just go already!" Grinning and turning her towards the door, making like he's pushing her out.

Laughing at his attempt to push her away, she turns, picks up her staff and makes her way out of the clinic.


	4. Distractions Aplenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some romance, nothing too heavy.

Standing at the now familiar door, Hawke feels a nervous flutter reside in her stomach and settle, morphing into full blown nerves with the consistency of lead.

Lifting her hand to the door handle, she pauses. At this there's a small "wuff" and a cold wet nose presses into the hand against her thigh. Petting the dogs head she breathes deep and opens the door. 

"Fenris are you home?" she calls into the dim, quiet stillness. Receiving no response she opens the door fully and steps into his home, Blaze following closely behind, softly closing the door behind her. 

Still hearing nothing upon entering she moves through the small entrance hall and with light foot steps continues deeper into the main hall, skirting around the broken tiles. 

Glancing around taking note of the many years worth of grime, and the long forgotten corpses she chuckles softly to herself. Remembering with fondness her half hearted attempt to threaten Fenris into cleaning the place and his delightful and heart quickening response.

After returning from an afternoon buying new weapons and runes, Fenris had asked Hawke in for a drink and dinner. Walking into the hall, Hawke declares "Seriously, I think that particular corpse was here the first time we set foot in here - its not even gooey anymore! If you insist on living here at least try to tidy up. If you can't be bothered I will bring my own mop and bucket and invite Merrill along to help!" Grinning widely to soften the threat as she knew he still disliked the elf mage.

Knowing she wasn't serious he gave her a faux mortified look, his green eyes widening with mock horror. "If I wanted to clean, I would have done so by now. Pray tell, how would you get her past the front door with me guarding it?"

Laughing openly now, her eyes sparkling with humour. "Well I'd have to distract you somehow won't I?" Her voice taking on a flirtatious tone.

Stepping closer, his gaze focusing intently on her, he moves towards her slowly, backing her up until she reaches the wall behind her, running out of space. "I am not that easily distracted. Years of training you know." His already low voice dropping an octave.

He gently moves his arms so his hands rest on either side of her head, pinning her in place. Hawke a willing captive. "So....how would you distract me?" He whispers, his warm breath tickling her ear making her shiver.

He's now so close she can feel his body heat, smell his familiar scent of leather, weapon oil and the faint tang of lyrium - the heady concoction envelopes her senses. This drives her heart to quicken its pace, heat pooling into her stomach. Turning her head to the side her lips glance against his cheek and she feels him shiver slightly and a soft breath escapes. "Well I could try this for starters."

Moving from his cheek her lips brush against his earlobe, softly feathering at first but at his sharp intake she increases the pressure. Her tongue then dips into the shell and he pulls away sharply.

Still close, he gazes into her eyes, all humour gone replaced with a smoldering heat, pupils dark with longing. "That is a distraction indeed." Voice now full of need but determined to keep the pace slow, he moves his right hand from the wall and cups her chin, brushing his thumb over her soft lips, pulling on them slightly.

Hawke moans softly, eyes closing and before he can remove his hand, opens her mouth to capture his thumb and gives it a soft bite. At this Fenris stills, her eyes flick open to see the heat flaring in his own eyes and all thoughts of taking his sweet time exploring her attempt at distraction fly out the window. He captures her face in both hands pushing against her to plunder her mouth in a searing kiss. Warm lips collide, his tongue demanding an entry that Hawke does not deny with a strangled moan.

Her hands snake around his neck to draw him even closer, meeting at the back of his head snagging gently through his soft hair. They both press against each other consumed by the fierce longing between them. Moments later finally pulling apart to catch their breath, chests heaving. He pulls back capturing her hand. Smirking, breathless and flushed he says "I think there is a more private place where you can continue to distract me more thoroughly." 

Smiling and slightly flushed herself, she tightens her hold and they both move up the stairs quickly. 

Hawke snaps back into reality, noticing Blaze whining at her, she gives herself a shake and mutters a bit breathlessly "Sorry boy, got a little distracted there. Still didn't get around to cleaning up either!" Having no idea how much time had passed, she crouches down to give him more of a hug to make up for ignoring him and ruffles his fur, whilst he licks her face.

Standing up again, wiping off the slobber with her sleeve, she notices nothing has changed in the house. No movement or noise to indicate Fenris is home.

Making sure either way, she walks upstairs and into his room finding the hearth cold and no sign of life. "Well I guess this will have to wait until later, come on pup lets go."

Before leaving she notices a pile of books haphazardly stacked on a nearby table. Smiling to herself touching the top book lightly she remembers how she helped him learn to read.

When he had left her that first night they'd shared, she knew beyond a doubt that she had fallen hopelessly in love with him but was so hurt at his reaction and subsequent departure from her. It took her months to bury the pain and try to stifle her feelings under a guise of friendship and humour. 

Finding the Book of Shartan was her way of having a connection - any connection with him, yes it may have been selfish of her, but spending time with him soothed her bruised heart.

The lessons hadn't started very well, but when Fenris and her had both gotten over the awkwardness of being in close proximity again to each other, his anger at being unable to grasp the basics gave way to wonder when they became clear to him. 

The hours they spent together pouring over texts brought them closer and although it hadn't been what she really wanted at the time, it had been enough, she now cherished those times as they helped to deepen the bond they shared today.

Turning once again, she moved out the room closing the door, headed back down the stairs and onwards to home.


	5. Unknowing Revelations

After the dimness of Fenris's home Hawke, blinking owlishly, lifts her hand to shade her eyes from the glaring sunshine. There was barely a cloud overhead in the azure blue sky. It was a beautiful day, a delightfully refreshing wind blowing against her hair, cooling in the warmth.

It was too good a day to be cooped up inside or to be traipsing around Kirkwall searching for Fenris, so instead of heading straight home she decides to make the short trip across to the Chantry, needing to take some time to relax and catch up with Sebastian or Grand Cleric Elthina, sending the dog back home alone.

It had been a while since they last talked and the Chantry offered a small modicum of peace, albeit brief.

Much grander of course than the humble Chantry in Lothering, the building itself was cavernous, the many voices echoing the Chant seemingly trying to reach the Maker through the rafters when filled completely. There was no reception area, the doorway instead leading to a large square corridor guarded by four bronze statues, two flanking either side at opposite ends along the walls which branch off to two sets of stairs to the right and left, however the focal point of the main room was a statue of Andraste Herself.

Hazy amongst the smoke of the burning candles and taking up much of the view visible from the doorway, stood a huge, magnificent depiction of the holy prophet. Both awe inspiring or fear inducing depending on the state of ones soul. At her feet, candles could be lit in rememberence of a loved one, the flames maintained by the Brothers and Sisters.

Hawke moves quietly down the corridor, nodding with a smile in greeting to two sisters standing by the foot of the stairs to the left. Making her way up the stairs she moves to the pews, and slides into a vacant seat, trying not to disturb Sebastian as he recites a canticle, the rich tones of his accented voice carrying over the bowed heads of the congregation.

Bowing her own head and closing her eyes she offers up prayers for Father, Mother and Bethany, her face openly showing grief. Not that she was devout by any means, but she had believed in the Maker from an early age and her Father had always strived for her to be open minded - if the Maker made all men, why make mages if not for them to do good in the world? In Lothering she had visited the Chantry often and she had become friendly with many of the Sisters. It hadn't taken long for the family to feel like the village was home to them instead of a place they could lay their heads before moving on. Time spent there for her was precious, allowing her to be herself without the responsibilities of family, especially when her Father died - she felt closer to him when in such a building.

Looking back now it had seemed when they had died it had felt that part of her soul had been taken with them too. Without her friends and the little flame of faith she had, coming back from such heartbreak would have been almost impossible and the grief was at times still raw. At least Carver was somewhat safe with the Wardens. Shuddering as she remembered that fateful journey into the Deep Roads, and again grateful for Anders being there. Without him, she'd be the last Amell heir - from her Mothers side anyway. 

Sucking in her breath, her hand automatically moves to her stomach "Not the last now, by any means." she thinks to herself, smiling now, getting used the idea of a child. Picturing a toddler with beautiful green eyes you couldn't say no to and paired with her soft blue back hair - he or she would be a heartbreaker!

Giving her stomach a small pat she finishes her prayers and glances up. Caught in her reverie, unbeknownst to her the canticle had finished a short while ago with the seats previously full now empty. A line had formed in front of Sebastian for him to offer a blessing if accepted, however his striking blue gaze was not directed at the woman in front of him, but on her. Being the only person still seated she wasn't hard to miss.

Dropping her hand from her stomach she stands up quickly and moves to the end of the line hoping he didn't notice her small slip. The line was slow moving, most stopping to chat to Sebastian for a time, his heavy brogue lilting softly.

Finally after what feels like forever Hawke reaches him and he takes her offered hand in a warm handshake "Good afternoon Hawke. Lovely to see you here again, I hope you're well - we've missed you these past weeks. I do hope nothing has kept you from us?" Eyes warm and face open. "Oh, I wasn't well for a bit - just a cold, nothing too serious - and you know, people ask for help now and again from their "Champion" so been up to my eyes sorting out various issues." She says with mirth a soft smile meeting his blue gaze with her own.

"Being Champion has its merits as well as its drawbacks eh Hawke?" A small hesitant pause. "You know that I'm always here if you need to talk - about anything" His stare becomes intense and she knows in that moment that he saw her slip, but she can't tell him just yet - not until Fenris knows, it would be unfair to him. Even having Anders know makes her anxious, not that he would betray her confidence, but the sooner the father himself is informed about his impending fatherhood the better as far as she's concerned.

Hiding her reaction behind a half hearted smile she gives a small laugh and shakes her head. "Nothing too bad that I can't handle, though thank you for offering. I was hoping to receive your blessing and you're right I have neglected this place - forgive me?" Sebastian's gaze remains warm "The Maker understands that duty sometimes supersedes other obligations, just don't leave it too long next time, and there's nothing to forgive." He holds his hand over her head and starts the familiar words of benediction "Blessed are they who stand before....." His soft voice flows over her like a soothing balm and she closes her eyes as a sense of calm washes over her.

Soon the verse comes to and end and her eyes open, not because he's finished but due to a small light tug of her robes, somewhere at her knee. She glances down and she breaks into a grin at the sight of Melander, a small child she's come to know during her frequent visits. She reminds her so much of Bethany, so polite and quiet. Nearly after every visit she is asked to tell a story to the children. Most are being taken care of until their parents finish work, but a few are permanent residents in the care of the Chantry. So it is nearly a weekly ritual for Hawke embellishing the stories her Mother used to tell her, bringing a little excitement into the otherwise hallowed grounds.

"Tali - please can you tell us a story? You weren't here last week and we missed you!" The girls small voice pleads mirroring the hopefulness showing in her eyes as she stares up at Hawke. Chuckling Sebastian notes "Ah, its okay Hawke, go entertain the little ones!" Grabbing her hand, Melander pulls her towards the small group of children, their excited cries being hushed by a nearby Sister turning into giggles. Hawke sets herself in front of them, leg tucked under her and begins her story, the faces of the children alight with delight at the tale they know so well starting, her voice carrying in the now quiet air.


	6. Lunch and Babies

Having said her farewells to the children and Sebastian, with promises of a visit next week and an agreement to bring cake, Hawke treks back home with a smile on her face. The smile falters a little - just nerves - as she doesn't know what the reaction will be to her news. Suddenly her stomach lets out a vicious growl of hunger, it had been a while since she had felt like eating and suddenly realised she hadn't eaten for what felt like simply ages. "Wow, its definitely time to get some lunch!"

Hoping that Fenris was already at her place so they could have lunch together, she makes her way there in silent contemplation, anxiety level rising with each step. Catching herself chewing nervously on her thumb nail, she takes her hand from her mouth and shoves it into the pocket of her robes.

Glancing at the Amell crests hugging the outside walls in the dim ivy filled entry way, she can't help but feel a small burst of pride as she pushes the door open.

Setting her staff on one of the benches in the reception hall, she walks into the main hall, dust motes dancing around in the bright sun filtering through the high windows. Bodahn greets her with good cheer as always. "Good day my lady, Messere Fenris had arrived for lunch and is waiting in the study for you. Oh and Blaze is resting in the garden, he came home a while ago."

"Thanks Bodahn, yes the Chantry may take in strays but draws the line at huge war hounds! I hope things are quiet? Oh and please don't forget to take tomorrow off as a holiday, you have earned it." Reminding him of their agreement, he really needed to take some time off. As things had been quiet for a time Hawke had advised him to take a day away from the house with Sandal.

"Everything's okay, nothing to report and yes Sandal and I are looking forward to it, we were hoping to have a picnic somewhere. Lets hope the weather is as good tomorrow as it is today." Again he replies in a cheerful sing-song voice. Sandal adds his piece by joyfully shouting "Holiday!" Hawke laughs at this and bids them good day.

"Well here goes nothing." The study isn't too far away, but at that very moment decides she wouldn't have minded it being across town, but this is something that cannot be put off.

Upon opening the door she finds Fenris sitting next to the unlit fire, his head bent and pristine white hair falling over his forehead. Long lithe legs propped against the armchair opposite, midway through his current book. His long tapered fingers holding it one handed as he slowly turns to the next page with the other. 

Walking over to him, she touches his arm lightly to let him know she's home. "Hi there, miss me?" taking the opportunity to nudge his leg with her knee "Comfy?" enquiring with a teasing smile whilst brushing his hair away from his eyes.

He looks up and smiles warmly at her, the frown of concentration disappearing, and her heart flutters as it never fails to do when he looks at her with those eyes. 

Holding her gaze, he slowly shuts the book after saving his page with a bookmark and sets it on the chair next to him, then graceful in the only way he can be, gets up to meet her. Reaching for her he pulls her into his arms and softly kisses her. His kisses are most welcome and she returns them with fervour, both arms holding him loosely.

It shouldn't amaze her at how much had changed in him, that he could share his affection openly with her, but it had taken a long time and many heartfelt conversations, which at times spanned long into the night, for him to get past his hesitation of touch.

He had confessed to her once that his markings hurt when touched, but there was no pain at hers, and that had confused him greatly - she was a mage and therefore her touch should be harmful should it not? 

With her he'd said it had felt like coming home, his soul had found its twin, and it warmed her heart to see and know how far he'd come, how far they'd came together.

Unfortunately her stomach decides to make itself known again and emits a loud growl. Chuckling softly he pulls back slightly "I was comfortable thank you for asking, I am at an interesting part in the book. I was going to ask if you were ready to eat as Orana has set the table for us - but I think you have already answered that question!" Giving her another quick peck he releases her from his hold and then takes her hand as they walk up the stairs to the dining area.

Originally, the two rooms in this particular area had both been studies, set at different levels with the lower room they'd just left separated from the larger room by a short set of stairs. 

However when they regained the estate there hadn't been a formal dining area, Hawke had decided to purchase a dining table along with a set of dining chairs and move them to the larger area in the upper level, otherwise there would be no room for entertaining her friends but most importantly it was the only table where more than three people could comfortably dine at.

Taking their respective seats, Fenris lets her hand go but not before giving it a small kiss, sending a small thrill though her. Getting comfy and setting the napkins on their laps, they both look toward the plentiful and delicious array of food. 

Various cold meats including glazed ham and spiced chicken, freshly made breads, cheese and fruits lay before them. Orana had surpassed herself as usual. In a comfortable silence they take their own plates and start filling them and as they eat take their time in savouring the delicious flavours.

"Had you been up to much today?" Asks Fenris after taking a sip from the glass recently filled with a rich red wine. Swallowing her own mouthful of water Hawke replies "Nothing too taxing, I went to see Anders and then thought it would be good to see Sebastian again as it felt like forever since I saw him, and of course the children had to have a story or two which is why I was delayed - sorry about that."

Her small smile betrays the fact that she didn't really mind, not in the least, and he picks up on this. "You cannot fool me, you know you do not mind telling your tales to the children, they love them almost as much as Varric's own fables. I do believe you are in competition with him. Is he aware that you are vying for the children's favour as their favourite story teller?" 

Laughing she replies "No, I am in no competition with him, his job is very safe, besides I wouldn't want to tread on his toes or break his heart! It was good to catch up with Sebastian too."

Taking another bite of the chicken sandwich she had made she chews thoughtfully, trying to think of an opportunity to slip "Oh and by the way you're going to be a father - congrats I'm pregnant!" into the conversation.

After thinking this it doesn't take long for the knot of worry to flare again and settle in her stomach, and then she finds that her appetite has suddenly vanished and puts the remainder of the sandwich back on her plate, the mouthful she was chewing taking on the flavour of sawdust.

Fenris's next topic of conversation does not help one bit towards her anxiety either. "Oh, can I ask why you went to visit Anders? I had thought you two were not getting along? I hope that he was not rude to you - no do not tell me if he was as I would not be responsible for my actions. That abomination is getting more reclusive, we hardly see him at the Hanged Man much these days either, not that I am complaining, but whatever he is up to cannot be of any good."

Immersed in her own thoughts, she doesn't even jump to defend the mage as Fenris thought she would and she doesn't notice Fenris looking at her with worry after her failure to respond. Wiping his mouth and setting the napkin by his plate, she also doesn't notice that he gets up from his seat and settles in front of her, taking her now shaking hands in his, the timber of his deep voice taking on a worried tone. "Hawke are you well?"

Coming back to the present she meets his anxious look with one of her own and she coughs and takes a deep breath. "Well, that's a question and a half isn't it?" 

With a nervous laugh and another shallower breath. "Yes, Anders and I had barely been speaking to each other, but you see......I haven't been feeling well for a bit, and - and I had been taking remedies but nothing was helping, I did have that cold a while ago, so I had thought it was a continuation of that, or maybe some sort of stomach upset."

"However I had to go to Anders for him to confirm what I suspected as there couldn't be any other reason and I had to go to him because - there really wasn't any other way to tell. And I do trust him, even though we weren't speaking."

"Anyway, he confirmed it - that.....that - it was what I thought....and there's something I really need to tell you - believe me, and I hope you don't take it too badly, but please understand it - it wasn't planned or anything. Is just that I - I'm pregnant Fenris, you're going to be a father."

The whole confession comes out in a rush, with Hawke barely taking time for a breath and for a heart stopping second she thinks that maybe Fenris hasn't heard her, her words too jumbled and that she would have to repeat herself, but at his startled breath mere seconds after her tirade, she definitely knows he has heard her - damn those sensitive elf ears!

Surprisingly he seems to take the news well - at first, but he releases her hands and stands up shockingly fast, nearly hitting his forehead head off hers, with - yes - an actual wobble in his step. He moves back over to his recently vacated seat and sits down with a heavy thud, blinking and mouth opening and closing, his mind trying to process the recent revelation.


	7. So Much For Needing Space

The silence seemed to run on forever, when in reality it was merely few minutes.

Hawke found herself wondering what was running through his mind, seeing the myriad of feelings ghosting over his features without giving anything away and it was very hard telling what he was truly feeling with his eyes also being closed.

After a few more seconds rolled by, she'd had enough both with waiting for some sort of response from him and trying to second guess what he was thinking or feeling.

The old fear of him leaving her rose in the pit of her belly, nearly as sharp as the nightmares that had plagued her dreams for months when he had left her the first time.

Entering the fade each night entailed a nominal risk for a mage, but the temptation she then faced from demons increased as they knew her one desire, her one hope and dream - for Fenris to love her and stay with her.

Hawke knew that nothing they could promise of offer had been real and that the cost of accepting such temptations would be too high so didn't give in to them, but the images they left burned into her mind.

In time the nightmares ceased and she found she was able to rest for longer periods and over time the ache in her heart also lessened - or maybe she learnt to live with it.

Recalling the despair after waking each night from the visions, remembering her thudding heart and sweat drenched body, vague fleeting shadows that left her cold with fear, the flash of white hair and the whispering echoes of promises given without truth, made the fear in her belly increase tenfold.

As she stood moving over to him she reached out her hand only to have him finally sit up straighter and take notice of her movement toward him.

Her steps halted and her arm dropped, wide blue eyes trained on his every move.

Patience had not been one of her strong points when she was younger, Maker how her Father had known that - however dealing with everything she had to over the years she had certainly learned the trait but this was something she needed to have an answer on.

Questions were running through her head. "Was he angry? Did he even want a child and would he accept it? Would he love it or accept it out of misguided duty?"

He loved her she knew that, but would this be too much for him to take?

She knew she was pushing him a little. Over the years they had got to know one another, as friends and eventually as lovers again, so she knew not to push him too hard but forcing his hand on this issue was something she was willing to do.

She started to move towards him again and having reached him, placed her hand on his shoulder, his eyes focused at last on her face. They were shadowed with worry and a little hint of fear. "Hawke...." He started to say, but he couldn't find his voice.

He coughed to clear his throat and started to speak again. "Hawke....I do not know what you wish me to say - I am....that is I do not know what you want - I had never thought of being a father, of having a child, but what do you want from me - marriage?"

She sucked in her breath not expecting that question. "Fenris, I love you - truly I do, and with that comes the hope of us spending all of our days together in some form, possibly marriage - yes I will not deny that I had hoped that would be on the cards at some point in our future. Generally it's what two people do when they are in love and wish to spend the rest of their lives together."

"However, if you don't want to I understand, but I want to be with you any way I can so I will not push this with you."

She squeezes his shoulder and at this he does something that she had hoped they had gotten past, his knee jerk reaction to touch - what with the time they had spent getting to know one another and the bond they now shared she had thought it wouldn't happen again - especially with her.

He flinches.

At this her eyes flick to his and sees his instant regret in the moss green gaze looking back at her.

"Hawke, please - I did not mean - I just.....I think I need some time to get my head around this all. As a slave I had given up on entirely the hope of family, a life to call my own...and with my markings I wasn't sure it was possible either - this is difficult for me. I need time, please...."

At this her hand falls from his shoulder and the tears well up in her eyes, her hand rises to her mouth to smother the sob forming.

He sees the upset in her face and stands up sharply and embraces her so tightly her face is pushed against his chest. She feels the wild thump of his heartbeat against her cheek.

"No - no no Hawke - 'Talia, I am not leaving you - you know for me there is no future without you, I have told you this! I need time to - it is a lot for me to take in. I need space but I will return, I promise you that." his own voice thick with emotion, his already deep voice becoming rougher.

Natalia sighs in relief and hiccups. "Alright - its just that I'm so scared - I need you." Well she did try to say that but as she was still pressed up so tightly against Fenris it came out like "Arit ohghu, mso cred nedyou."

She pushes against him and he releases her with a soft kiss against her hair.

"Okay, its just that I'm so scared - I need you" She repeats, as she looks up at him pleading shining in her eyes .

"I am afraid too, but please remember I am yours." His green gaze imploring her for the apparent need for space that she still doesn't understand.

Fenris was wildly independent, hence the reason he had not accepted her offer to live with her, and yes it had hurt at first, but she eventually understood that to him, having the use of Danarius's mansion, although he was dead, was his way of declaring independence - that he was a free man.

Deciding that he will want "space" whether she liked it or not, now was not the time to argue or to upset the fragile situation further, so reluctantly she asked "Please don't do anything foolish, and please come back here. I love you. When you do come back I'll - I'll be in my room."

She gives him a swift peck on the lips, not meeting his eyes and rushes from the room before he has time to respond.

She hurries past a shocked looking Bodahn without speaking and moves up the stairs to her room closing the door softly, sitting on the edge of the bed in a bit of a daze with her hand on her stomach and thinks to herself "Well that could have gone better, or worse depending on ones viewpoint I guess little one, lets just hope Daddy comes round."

After a few minutes she hears Fenris bid good day to Bodahn and leave the estate the softly closing door echoing through the rooms. Crawling over the bed she lays there and pulls a pillow over her head letting out a muffled "Aarrgggh!" in frustration.

It takes a long while for her to fall into an uneasy light sleep.

It doesn't seem that hours have passed, but when a muted bark wakes Hawke up, she's resting her head on her arms, the pillow long since fallen off the bed. She opens her eyes blearily taking time to focus in the soft light and notes that the days sunshine has long passed, the coolness of the room hints that night has fallen.

Rubbing her eyes and yawning so widely her jaw clicks, she sits up, realises that she hadn't even changed out of her robes and then the days events come rushing back to her and all she can think is "Fenris!"

Leaping out of bed she rushes to her bedroom door and opens it, not expecting the sight that is in front of her. It would have been amusing if not for involving a recently sober Elf.

The front door is wide open, with Sebastian, Aveline and Bodahn assisting what looks like a very inebriated Fenris through said doorway and into the main hall, the task made difficult due to him wavering on his feet unsteadily.

As she looks on with disbelief, Sebastian has Fenris's arm around one shoulder whilst Aveline has his other arm both trying to steer him into the room. Bodahn is trying to carry Fenris's sword behind them, but it is too heavy for him to cope on his own.

Hawke quickly walks over to Bodahn and helps him lift the heavy broadsword and rests it against the wall. Blaze is bounding to and fro, not helping matters so she commands him to go sit by the fire, which he does but with a huff as if to complain about his play time being interrupted.

"Good evening Hawke." Sebastian's lilting voice tinged with apology. "Fenris came to see me earlier today, he was not himself so we chatted for a while and then he wished to go to the Hanged Man. I did not wish him to go alone so I offered to join him, purely to keep an eye on him of course. I did not know he had consumed as much alcohol as he had until he got outside, he simply passed out." He hefted Fenris back up into standing position again.

"Hi Hawke, good to see you. I was on my usual patrol and caught Sebastian half way into Hightown and saw he needed assistance. You do realise Fenris is deceptively heavy for an Elf?" Aveline also pulled him back up after slipping, her eyes glinting with humour. "We thought it best if he stays here tonight".

"Ah, okay, maybe its better if you take him straight up to my room." Hawke is not used to seeing Fenris like this, he rarely drinks too much and usually not to this excess. "So much for needing space, more like a few cheap pints!"

At Hawkes voice, Fenris seems to come round, and opens his bleary eyes and exclaims "See Hawke, I told you I would come back!" Surprisingly coherent for one who can't stand on his own two feet.

He wrestles out of both Sebastian's and Avelines grasp and flops forward onto his knees, crawling over to where she stands.

He then puts his hands on her still flat stomach and says. "Sorry for scaring your mother, little one, but you were a surprise. I - I cannot wait to meet you." He then smiles up at Hawke. "Hawke, I love you and I am sorry for reacting poorly to your news, but please give me a chance?"

At this proclamation he then passes out for the second time that night.

"Ah, Hawke, is there something you want to tell us?" Comes Aveline's shocked question.


	8. A Friend In Need

Being put on the spot like that, she blushes deep red, her face instantly on fire.

Usually a painfully private person and certainly not used to having her (very) personal life on display makes her disconcerted. Along with the shock at Fenris's extremely open manner in which he voiced his apology, coupled with the fact nothing so far was going to plan - not being able to tell people in her own time - added to her general feeling of being overwrought by it all. 

"Maybe I'll be able to tell Varric and the others when _I_ want to." She thought to herself, feeling things slipping out of her control quickly, not that she'd had much of that since the early hours of today anyway. 

Knowing that he would be equally embarrassed and annoyed with himself at being so public with his display she crouches down to where Fenris lay. Giving him the once over checking all was fine whilst at the same time trying to ignore two sets of eyes boring into her as they stand waiting for some sort of reply.

Gathering her courage, not really wanting to have this conversation and after letting a slightly stunned looking Bodhan know he can retire for the night after he lets Blaze into the kitchen, thanking him for all his help, she straightens and then finally looks towards them, her face still slightly crimson.

"I only found out myself today and believe me, this is not the way I would have wanted to tell any of you, but I think you can guess what's up from that graceful display - I'm pregnant, about a month or so. As you can see, Fenris didn't take it _that_ well, but as he didn't go off running to the hills and returned to me, albeit with assistance - thank you both for that - I suppose I'm okay with it for now."

"Whether he remembers what he's said, or indeed still thinks the same when he wakes is another thing entirely, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it - probably tomorrow, if he's up to it."

Both women fail to notice Sebastian's sharp intake of breath in reaction to her news, in fact they both seem to forget he's also in the room with them.

Face beginning to flush, whether with indignation on Hawke's behalf or embarrassment she isn't sure, Aveline stutters in surprise "I cannot believe you two would be so careless! How could you find yourself in this situation with all that's going on?"

"Ah, probably anger then..." Hawke thinks wryly to herself.

Still a little red, Aveline begins again. "I would have thought you at least would have more sense -"

Taking a leaf out of Fenris's book, Hawke holds up her hand to stop the flow before things get too angry or heated and she knows too well that harsh words are very hard to revoke once let loose. 

Letting a calming breath fill her she looks unflinchingly into the redheads eyes, her gaze clouded with distress and pleads "Aveline, you are like a sister to me and I love you dearly, but please....I _know_ this is not a good situation, how the timing is possibly the worst it can be, but what's done is done." 

"I have to make the best of it and no matter what anyone thinks we are having this child. I've no idea what I am doing, and neither does Fenris and I - I would really appreciate some understanding, even just a little would help, especially now." Her voice starts to waver and she goes quiet.

Aveline visibly calms and her emerald gaze softens upon seeing the glimmer of fear in her friends eyes. 

"Sorry - I'm just a bit shocked. This will take a bit of getting used to. Wow....baby Fenris...err Hawke...who would have thought." Her eyes sharpen again as she voices the next thought running thorough her head. 

"You do know you can't go off fighting now don't you? I mean before you put yourself at risk for us, at times recklessly I may add, but now its not only yourself - you have to be careful."

Giving a lopsided smile, feeling a small burst of warmth at being on the receiving end of the big sister side of her best friend. "I know that but it will be difficult for me not fighting. I had hoped I could continue to do something, I mean I would be climbing the walls if I didn't have a little fight here and there to occupy myself. You know me, I can't sit around doing nothing!" Hands flying up in exasperation showing her irritation.

A small polite male cough makes both women jump slightly. "Um, sorry to interrupt you both, but perhaps I could offer a solution? Oh, congratulations by the way - I am sure you and Fenris will be very happy. " 

Natalia looks to Sebastian as if seeing him for the first time and smiles softly. "Sorry Sebastian was in a world of my own there, and thank you for looking after him when he needed someone. Yes it's a bit daunting, but hey - I single handedly fought the Arishok and won, if a little frayed at the edges afterwards, so I can do this - with a little help from my friends." At this she again looks towards each of them, her blue eyes clearing. 

"I hope Fenris wasn't too much broody for you tonight? What do you have in mind?" She asks shifting from one foot to the other thinking that it was about time someone changed the subject. 

"You have done so much for me, I would like to help in any way I can." Chuckling in reaction to her question. "It wasn't any trouble, his mind was just elsewhere, he was muttering to himself most of the night, something along the lines of making "it" official....amongst other things, but I couldn't really make sense of it all. I just didn't want him to be alone and drunk."

At this Hawkes eyes narrow and quickly look down to the sleeping Fenris, but there won't be any answers from him, at least not for the rest of the night - what little there is left of it.

"I had thought that you would be able to help me - only if you want to mind, distribute food and care packages to the needy. I travel to Darktown on occasion on behalf of the Chantry to minister to those who are not able make their way to Hightown. I need some assistance from time to time. You would still be out and about but no fighting is involved so you should be safe enough. We would also need you to help craft potions and sort donations, that sort of thing." His blue eyes sparkle as he knows he has caught her interest.

The smile she gives widens at his offer. "That sounds great, just let me know the schedule and so on and we can work it out from there. I think Fenris would prefer this to me going off and getting into trouble, as he always says - it seems to find me so easily."

"I know it won't be the same as our trips to the Wounded Coast, but truth be told I do get tired of the same old dead guys attacking us, you would think they'd learn to stay dead! I'd prefer not getting attacked every time I step out the door too." With a small laugh she starts to bend down to try and finally pick Fenris up off the floor.

"No Hawke!" Both Aveline and Sebastian voice their objection in unison and move to help before she can strain herself. "Hey guys, I can pick up one unconscious elf you know!" At the same time stepping away from them and letting them take over. 

"Yes you probably could, but don't forget - he's heavier than he looks." Aveline smiles at her, the mood has lightened now that things are out in the open. 

"It's a good idea helping Sebastian, and if it keeps you out of trouble all the better I think. I don't want to have to worry about you more than I should.....listen Hawke...I know my reaction to your pregnancy wasn't great." 

At this Hawkes arches an eyebrow and they smile at each other. "And I apologise for that - for making the situation sound more dire than it is. If you need anything you only need to ask, I'll be here for you...I hope Fenris doesn't have too much of a sore head tomorrow." Her green eyes are warm, with no hint of the ire previously shown.

Smirking towards the now upright elf. "Well if he does it's self inflicted, I would heal him but he tends not to like that - still - but I suppose I could make up a potion for him." Mentally checking if she still had the particular ingredients.

They move up the stairs with Natalia thanking the Maker that her home wasn't larger, she hurried in front of them to open her bedroom door, glad that Orana had tidied up as Hawke wasn't the best at picking up after herself - especially after this morning.

Sebastian did look a little uncomfortable being in her chambers, but it wasn't as if there was anything to see, so she ignored him as Fenris was shifted again in their arms, his head lolling around. They moved slowly towards the bed and set him down, perhaps more gently than required and they all returned to the entrance hall. 

"Thanks for making sure he gets home okay, and thank you for all your help, I am truly grateful." Grasping Sebastian's hands in hers she gives them a small shake which he returns with a warm squeeze. "Anytime." Looking less uncomfortable than a few minutes ago, he nods his head in farewell, smiles and sets off towards the front door.

She hugs Aveline hard, and whispers "I am _so_ going to need your help you know!" into her ear. She responds with a laugh, pulling back and whispers in reply "You know you have it, as long as you don't name the child after me. I wouldn't want that for any babe." Only half joking.

They part ways again and after showing her two friends out, wishing them a good night she closes the door, locks it, puts out the lights and makes her way back to her bedroom.

Once in the room, she shuts the door and quickly undresses, after folding her robes she puts on her short pale green cotton nightgown. It has gotten chilly in the room so she waves her hand at the logs in the fireplace and it sparks to life, not instantly heating the room but it wouldn't take long.

She moves towards the bed noting that Fenris is breathing deeply with no movement to suggest that him being lugged about has even disturbed his deep drunken slumber.

He still has his armour on so she gently removes his gauntlets, pauldrons and chest plate, tying not to move him too much, grateful that she knows where to find all the fastenings, and places them on the nearby chair. 

All that's left is his undershirt and breeches, so she removes his shirt leaving his breeches, so he could at least find some comfort.

The silver white markings glow softly on his tanned chest in the orange incandescence from the now bright fire. It never ceases - the hurt she feels when she sees them, the suffering and pain he went through makes her heart _ache_. He has told her before that they are part of what makes him the person he is today, and if he hadn't had them, they would surely not have met, so they are a burden but also a gift. She gently traces one with her index finger, but still he doesn't stir.

She pulls the blanket from under him and moves to the other side of the bed crawling in beside him, the days emotional upheaval suddenly making her seem so very tired, the bed dips slightly from her movement.

In sleep he looks younger, the lines of worry are gone from his face. Softly brushing the hair out of his eyes she places a soft kiss on each of the three dots of lyrium on his forehead. "What am I going to do with you eh love?" Whispering softly with a loving smile on her lips that's echoed in her clear sapphire gaze. 

Pulling the blanket over both of them she snuggles into his warm body and kisses his chest, laying her cheek against his warm skin, hearing the strong beat of his heart, it doesn't take her long to fall into a deep sleep beside him.


	9. Nice Wake Up Call You Got there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the rating from T to M as lets face it Hawke does happen to wake up with a sleepy half naked Fenris wrapped around her......its not too heavy but wouldn't want to annoy anyone. Its my first go at writing detailed sexual scenes too, hope you like..

He was warm, much too warm, and his head felt like it had been pommelled for several hours.

As Fenris started to wake from a pleasantly empty slumber, his senses slowly started to come to life too. Among them was surprise, that he was sleeping on a soft matress instead of the harder floor of his usual resting place in front of the fire at his home, the bed being long since used for firewood - not that he would have _touched_ that bed - he becomes aware of familiar legs entwined with his own.

Trying as he may his eyes wouldn't open fully, perhaps subconsciously knowing that light would hurt, he takes a deep breath, noticing with some surprise that there was no feeling of sickness.

As he breathed in his nose captured the fresh scent of verbena, the sweet and sharp aroma invading his senses and suddenly he is very sure of where he is.

Forcing his eyes open aginst the dim light, still too bright even with the drapes closed, he glances down to see one sleeping black haired woman clinging to him like a barnacle to the hull of a ship. He has discovered the reason for being overly warm.

If his head didn't hurt so much he would be able to think more clearly, but as it is he couldn't for the life of him remember how he ended up waking pressed up against Hawke. Not that his present situation was in any way alarming, quite the opposite in fact.

The last thing he does remember is talking with Sebastian with himself drinking mugs of that petty excuse for an ale at The Hanged Man.

He blushes deeply at the idiotic ramblings he couldn't prevent falling from his alcohol loosened lips and fervently hoped that he did not speak plainly enough for his friend to have understood anything.

He blinks once, then twice and all of a sudden yesterdays events rush back into his mind and his arms tighten around Hawke - he's going to be a father! He smiles fleetingly at the recent revelation.

However the small smile dims as he thinks back, remembering in vivid colour the events that followed after Hawke had informed him of her condition. He left her, like a coward and as he had done already.

After all they had been through, after all he had promised, the one time she needed him he _left_ her. His arms tighten against her a second time and the movement is enough to disturb her from her sleep but not enough to wake her.

"How could I have done that to her again?" He mentally berates himself. Hawke is his life, without her he is nothing, when will he ever learn? He had spent so long looking over his shoulder and had been running for too long, the reaction to flee seemed to be his natural instinct now, but _no_ more - he was a free man but he didn't want to be anywhere else but by Hawkes side.

At least he found his way back to her, Sebastian must have helped him return, Maker help the poor sod. He must remember to thank him but later as there were more important things to consider, such as the need to apologise to Hawke, he dearly hoped that she would forgive him.

The subject of his inner brooding shifts in her sleep and softly nuzzles the skin at the base of his throat making his heart thump that little bit faster and increases the temperature of his already heated body.

He gulps and thinks for a moment deciding whether to try to settle down back to sleep as it was still quite early, or to try and wake Hawke up to apologise or beg for forgiveness and again broach the subject of yesterdays conversation they had yet, in his mind, to finish.

As he pondered this he freezes as he feels butterfly soft kisses at his throat.

"Mmmm. Hi. Good. Morning!" Hawke punctuates her words with the light kisses to his neck. "Not a bad wake up call eh?" How's the head?" Looking up at him with a yawn following her questions, her eyes clear and twinkling with light hearted mischief.

"Ah, good morning....my head is a little sore but I will live - I think - but more to the point, are _you_ well?" He looks down at her sleep filled face with his heart in his mouth, apprehension coils in his stomach.

"I should be asking you that, the condition in which you came home last night!" She smiles up at him letting him know she harboured no ill feelings towards him, instead poking a little fun at his sore head.

He swallows again and starts to make an apology "'Talia, forgive me. I know that my leaving has hurt you, but I had not been thinking - "

Hawke interrupts his apology by shuffling up the bed, up his body so they were eye to eye and brought her lips to his in a gentle kiss.

She tilts her head back and meets his confused gaze. "Fenris, you don't need to apologise to me - there's nothing to forgive!" Rubbing her nose against his she continues. "Besides, I trusted you when you said you'd return - maybe not drunk or if so, not _that_ pissed - but you said you'd be back and I believed you."

He closes his eyes suddenly filled with immense gladness and presses her close against him. "I - that is...I cannot say that I know how to be a father - but if you still wish...if you will still have me, I would like the opportunity to be. His expression lightens in response to the beaming smile that Natalia gives him, the shadow of worry leaving his eyes.

"I know that you are afraid, but I am also. Please....let me explain - I need to tell you why." Giving a small pause. "As a slave I had never given any consideration to being a parent - a father....it has always been unnatainable to me."

"The only way I was to sire a child would have been at the behest of Danarius, but he was too covetous of any other owning me or even a part of me, plus I believe he did not want me to have the knowledge that my line would continue. He did not want to give me any semblance of a normal life, or joy it seemed." He sighes heavily, and is given a reassuring squeeze too caught up in his musings to see the sadness in her eyes.

"I had also thought that the lyrium in my markings had affected my body in ways I could not begin to imagine, that maybe I was poisoned and fatherhood would never be an option to me. However when I heard you tell me you were pregnant, it was overwhelming and a belief I had held true for so many years was obviously a falsehood."

The small kisses she continues to keep giving him as he talks, proves too much of a distraction, as he tries to concentrate, but with those delightful caresses, along with her soft body pushed against his, is too much. He stops talking and moves his arm, trailing his fingers slowly up her back, over her shoulders tickling her slightly and she shivers. Brushing his fingers against her cheek he cups her face, pulling her mouth slowly to meet his, meeting her gaze with fierce longing.

The kiss deepens the instant Hawke touches his lips with her tongue and they can do nothing but give into the heat that surges between them. His own tongue meeting hers with bold, long strokes, both relishing the taste of one another, each demanding more with breathy moans. Dragging in heavy breaths, panting and flushed they break away from the drugging kisses. 

After a while, calming and having caught her breath, aware that he needs to hear her reply and not wanting to delay any further despite very much enjoying the interlude, Hawke responds.

"My dear, daft, loveable" - at his disbelieving look she arches her brow at him and continues - "Fenris, I had no idea you felt like that and I'm sure it was a shock to you when I told you. That bastard, I'd kill him if he weren't already dead, I _hate_ him for all he did to you. I'm so thankful he can never hurt you again. No wonder you had a few - and I use that term loosely here - drinks. As I said before I trusted that you would return. Where else would I want you to be but by my side?"

Suddenly feeling a little emotional, she looks to him. "No matter what you think you will be a terrific father, and hey, I can't say that I'll be a great mother, but together we will try our bloody best so we should be able to bring up a half decent human - elf - being. We _will_ make mistakes, but we'll learn from them, like anything in life. As long as you don't feel the need to leave, just _talk_ to me - we can get through anything. I love you, you exasperating elf!" Moisture collecting in her blue gaze as she tries to get her feelings across.

"I truly do not deserve you." At her words he too feels the depth of her emotions as it is what he feels reflected in his own heart. His eyes reveal his relief and happiness that things are at last reconciled between them.

His breath quickens again as Hawke traces her fingers over his chest trailing the path of his markings, as she had done when he was sleeping. This time when she bends forward and follows the trail with her mouth, he shudders and moves his own hands over her body, pulling her back up towards him .

Slipping under the thin nightgown that has somehow ridden up to mid-thigh, his hands find the curve of her hips caresses her gently and his other hand moves up the line of her body he knows so well, feeling her muscles contract at his touch. He glides up her stomach and palms the soft globe of her breast through her underwear and as his thumb skims over her nipple, she arches closer to him in reaction.

With the pregnancy even this early on, there are slight changes to her body, as it readies her for the baby, her breasts becoming sensitive. As Fenris rolled her nipple softly between his thumb and index finger she felt it through the material as if it didn't exist, gasping as a tremor ran through her, zapping straight to her groin like lightening as he continued to tease her. He replaces his hand with his mouth, pushing her nightgown and breast band aside to give him more access, his lips and tongue worship the budding nipple, teasing her mercilessly.

"No fair!" She whispers in frustration as the lust spikes in her belly. She moves her own hand from his chest down to his stomach, her fingernails dragging feather light over his markings, not to cause pain but pleasure. The pressure applied makes Fenris moan harshly, his eyes black pools. He finishes his ministrations leaving the moistened nipple exposed to the cooling air which adds to her arousal. Hitching up her clothes again he moves to the other breast and starts to gently suckle her.

She cannot stop herself from arching into him moaning loudly this time, moving her hands to his head and running her fingers through his hair, clinging to him. Using his teeth lightly against her he continues for a few minutes with abandoned delight and lets the elongated bud go with a small pop. Her throaty moans heighten his own arousal which show in his darkened cheeks and blush tipped ears. He again claims her mouth.

She removes her hands from his hair and back to his chest, she starts to move them lower and he growls as their eyes meet, hazy desire mirrored in each others gaze. "Too many clothes!" he manages to get out between gritted teeth. Hawke sits up and pulls the nightgown over her head, throwing it carelessly on the floor - "Better it be on the floor than torn." Thinking to herself, knowing how Fenris can get carried away, this one happened to be one of her favourites and she wanted to keep it.

Fenris struggles to remove his breeches, made difficult by his prominent arousal and his trembling fingers and she quickly moves to assist, her hand brushing against his groin in her haste and he stifles a moan at the contact.

"Sorry!" She whispers grinning and moves to "help" him again but he stops her with a small grunt "Please, not again or I may not last!" Instead she moves her hands to his waist with another grin. Neither of their fingers are co-operating well as they both quake with need, it takes them what feels like a frustratingly long age to remove them even with their combined effort.

After what seems forever, the only barrier now are her smalls, Fenris wastes no more time and deftly takes off her already loose breast band, the sight before him causing him to stall, he never tires of seeing her like this.

Her body is not that of a muscled warrior, but she trains well so is toned but remains curvy. So very beautiful, several small angry red scars highlighted by her soft pale skin, the largest one over her stomach being silvery in colour, this one had earned her the title of Champion, a reminder that she is a fighter. That she would give herself to him freely is always a cause of wonder, but then again she feels the same about him and has told him so.

The first time they had made love she had shared with a bright blush that she had never lain with another before, he had looked at her in disbelief, surely a woman as beautiful as her would have had at least one lover he had said.

Her explanation that life as an apostate she could not truly trust anyone. She had told him she did have suitors but felt that any connection she would have had with them would have been too fleeting, with travelling around too much and that is not who she is - when she loved it would have been completely and a brief affair was not something she had wanted. Besides she had been treated badly by a farm hand in Lothering who she had thought she'd been in love with and that he had loved her.

She had been seeing him for a few weeks and they had been getting a little physical, touching and kissing but when she told him she wasn't ready to sleep with him, that she needed a little time, he had became angry and violent, grabbing her lewdly and shouting horrid names. He hadn't loved her, not really, she later found out that he and his friends had made a wager that he would be the first to have sex with the new girl in town. If it hadn't been for Carver hearing the commotion Maker knows what could have happened. After getting her heart broken she had shied away from getting too involved with men - until Fenris of course.

Yet, for her to still trust him with her body and affections after hurting her so deeply was astounding to him, but he had her now and would not let her go.

He pulls her back down beside him on the bed and his hand ghosts over her still flat stomach, a look of wonder in his eyes, he smiles "To think that we have created life, and that it is growing here, that we are a family, or will be one - it is beyond my highest hopes." Still smiling as Hawke covers his hand with her own, entwining their fingers.

"I know, its difficult to believe isn't it? Though there's plenty of time to get used to it, and to decide names, do up the nursery, buy all sorts of baby things too."

"One thing at a time eh....um..."His green eyes flick to hers with a questioning look" Are you sure it is safe for us to do this...?"

His blush is so adorable Hawke chuckles and replies with a swift kiss and a whispered "Oh, yes!" She quickly shimmies out of her smalls and at last they are both gloriously unclothed.

Edging closer towards her, he wraps their joined hands around her waist so she is enveloped by his body, his heat and the skin to skin contact causes her head to spin with desire. With her free hand she reaches low into the tight space between them and, gently gripping his silky hard length, at his gasp she runs her hand lightly down his impressive girth, applying more pressure and moving her thumb in low circles as she approaches his base.

His deep grunts echo the need coursing through her own body and he pulls away lest he spends himself then and there and at her questioning smirk pulls her back to him again.

He could never get enough of the taste of her mouth, of her body, he feels the heated damp core of her as the blunted tip of his manhood nudges ever closer and she whimpers in frustration as it is not close enough, he knows the feeling. 

He moves over her and with one deep thrust at last they are joined, both moaning in ecstasy. Their movements still at the feeling, both taking time to savour the closeness and changing the tempo, he begins to move. 

The morning fades away as they lose themselves in each others bodies and amidst the soft moans, heavy sighs and sweat slicked skin, their gently uttered words of mutual love and adoration is an echo of the morning birdsong being sung in the world outside their window, dawning a new day, which caught up in each other they have temporarily forgotten.


	10. Whats a Drink Between Friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I lost my muse, but hopefully its come back again!

She is pulled softly from her warm lazy dream by the sound of tentative knocking coming from her door.

As she wakes the lovely dream she was having starts to become fuzzy and finally having to force her eyes open, she becomes more aware of the bright glare shining through the gap in the drapes, evidence that it was well into late morning.

Never one for lying in, she stretched languidly but finds herself constricted by tightly coiled arms wrapped around her torso from behind.

Smiling widely to herself, she begins to run her hands up both arms gently.

The movement elicits a muffled moan from somewhere behind her neck. "Hmmm, I know you don't want to get up and I'm pretty sure I could stay here all day with you -" Breaking off as he starts to nuzzle her neck, making her go all tingly from the contact.

"Mmmm, as nice as that is, we have to - or maybe _I_ have to - get up as someone's at the door." 

This earns a low grunt in response "Leave them be - if it was important they would be breaking down the door by now." He moves, starting to pepper kisses down her neck.

Already in full agreement with him, she angles her neck to give him better access, but again they are interrupted by the knocking - this time more insistent and is followed by a small muffled voice "Um...Mistress Hawke, I do not wish to intrude, but Master Gamlen is here to see you, with a letter from Charade. He says it is very important." 

Her voice full of disappointment "We'll have to continue this later, Gamlen will more than likely stay all day if I don't go down to see him, and more than likely drink all my wine." Pressing one last kiss against her he curses and confirms in a voice still thick with sleep. "I will hold you to that." 

"Look forward to it." Reluctantly he loosens his hold but can't help caressing her as he does. 

Now free from his embrace and feeling slightly bereft of his closeness, Hawke wrestles with the thick blanket, pushing it off her whilst calling out "No problem Orana, show him into the study and see if he wants tea, I have to get dressed but shouldn't be too long." The reply was too quiet to hear, but the soft footfalls heading away from the door were adequate notification that she had been understood. 

"This had better be important!" She thinks to herself. Looking back towards Fenris who looks entirely too comfortable, lying back with his arms stretched behind his head, a smug grin the only thing he's wearing due to the fact he can rest a while longer. 

Sitting up fully with a scowl (not serious of course) she scoots towards the edge of her bed, gets up and bends over to grab the discarded nightdress from last night, shoving it over her head and over her body, the movement causes her stomach to lurch and her hand flies automatically to her mouth. 

She flees to the wash room which thankfully is close, being to the left of the room, next to the entrance, only just making it to the privy in time.

As she kneels over the polished wooden privy, stomach heaving, she notes the soft pad of bare feet follow her into the room and a cool damp wash cloth is pressed into the back of her neck. 

Fenris mutters "Do you wish me to get you anything?" With just a slight panic to his otherwise calm voice. 

The retching seems to abate, and she takes a steadying breath waiting a moment to make sure her stomach has finished emptying itself for the time being, and requests a cool glass of water. Sinking against the wall she tries to breath evenly, eyes watering and the cloth is placed against her forehead.

She sinks further back against the wall willing her stomach to calm, sticking her legs out in front of her to get a little more comfortable and leaves the cloth sitting against her forehead, grateful for the soothing cold. 

With a promise not to be long, Fenris stands up and leaves the room. 

As she feels the nausea recede, she hears him return and glances at him, noticing he had dressed in the short space of time, wearing breeches and a loose fitting tunic. He presses a half filled ice cold glass into her hand and after taking a few small sips he also places a small paper package into her free hand. 

Her brow creases in confusion, and she looks up at him. He smiles back and answers her querying look with "I did say that I would purchase your favourite - sugared ginger. It may help with the sickness, although it is advantageous that your favourite treat also happens to curb nausea." 

Again he smiles briefly and kisses her forehead, to which Hawke balks "I wouldn't come too close - not until I've cleaned my teeth at least!" He shrugs and straightens. 

"This is something that we are sharing, or if I cannot share it with you, I would like to be here for you when you need me." She smiles up at him and takes a few more sips from the glass and places it next to her on the floor. "Well, aside from the uncontrollable vomiting, don't worry - we _are_ in this together." 

Accepting the hand held out for her, when she's back on her feet and steady, he mentions "Oh, as you were indisposed, I took the liberty of informing Gamlen that you will go and see him later today. It will give you a little more time to yourself." He strokes her hand with his thumb before letting it go. 

She bends down for the glass, takes a mouthful of water and rinses her mouth, spitting the water into a nearby basin then opens the small package, takes a piece of ginger and pops it into her mouth with a small "Mmmm." 

"I will leave you to it then - do you need anything?" 

As they walk back together into the bedroom she gives her head a small shake "No, I think I have all I need, why don't you get some breakfast and I'll get something when I feel more up to it." 

"See you in a bit then and thanks - you know, for being there....it felt nice,. I guess after the hundredth time, it might not be so _"special_!" She gives him a quick kiss and meets his eyes, he returns the kiss with heartfelt enthusiasm and they both eventually need to start breathing again so pull away gasping. 

As he rests his forehead against hers, he opens his eyes and his vision is filled with her bright blue gaze and it reminds him the first time they met. Her eyes were the first thing he noticed about her. 

So unusual, they were a startling blue with a darker blue outlining the irises, and then a thin band of green circled the pupils and they had drawn him to her from the start - bewitched him he had said early on in their relationship. 

He had felt a spark of attraction but as the sensation was so foreign to him, he hadn't know it for what it was, and after he realised she was a mage of all things, the only feeling coursing through him then had been dislike, despite her awkward flirting. 

However, spending time together and getting to know her as a person meant he was able to see beyond the mage and at least in the beginning found someone he could call friend, as weird as that felt initially. 

A friend - who at times both frustrated him with her wanton disregard for her own safety - and endeared him with the way she showed kindness without pity and her selflessness in helping others. 

Love and affection towards her had crept up on him, and it had taken a while for him to work through those feelings to realise how he truly felt. 

Feelings he had little hope of ever dealing with, having no experience on how to accept them as in the past he had always needed to bury them deep inside as slaves had no need for emotions of any kind. 

Natalia's capacity to forgive, and as it turned out, to love unconditionally filled him with gladness. Although they had not spoken about what had happened between them for years, they had remained friends, if a little distant but it was sufficient for him to have even that amount of contact with her. 

When he found out that the abomination harboured feelings towards _his_ Hawke, he had felt confusion as the jealousy reared itself within him, having never really experienced it before. 

He had seen them grow close, possibly due to the fact that they were both mages, and started to think maybe it was they who belonged together and that it was through his own actions if he lost her. 

However with huge relief, he had found out that his jealousy had been unfounded and that Natalia hadn't returned the mages affections.

In a small way - a very small way - he did feel a little modicum of pity for the abomination. That they both loved the same woman was a surprise indeed, but that she had chosen a man who, when they first met, had openly hated mages was even more of a surprise.

As Fenris made his way down to the kitchen, Hawke raided her wardrobe for clothes and set about having a bath. It was an advantage being in a noble estate with a functioning bathing room, with modern privy and varnished wooden bath - trying to stay reasonably clean when living at Gamlens home was a trial indeed. 

Orana and Bodahn must have already half filled the tub with water, smiling to herself as she stuck her finger in the water, pulled forth her magic and the small room began to fill with steam. The water wasn't overly hot, but just enough to ease her tired muscles. She took the lemon scented cake of soap sitting in the little dish hanging on the side of the bath and began to wash. 

Chewing on the dry piece of toasted bread she'd taken from the kitchen, she followed a few steps behind Fenris caught up in her own little world. 

At the small kitchen table, she had informed him of her plan of reducing her fighting and just helping out Sebastian with potions and deliveries and of course he had wholeheartedly agreed that this was the best option for her, relief shining in his eyes. 

After a brief hesitant pause she then told him of his drunken episode and that he had unwittingly already told Aveline and Sebastian about their baby and with a rather red face he had apologised, where she giggled and let him know it was alright as he'd be embarrassed enough for both of them. 

The next step was to tell what remained of their other friends - sober. 

Apart from the numerous stares from the nobles and traders alike both at the marked elf and the beautiful Champion, the journey through the market was uneventful, and also quiet enough through the passages down to Lowtown. 

As they both stopped outside The Hanged Man, looking up at the grossly exaggerated dummy strung upside down - it never failed to give her goose bumps that thing. As she shivered she also steeled herself for the smells that would evade her senses. Small shallow breaths would help, possibly so as Fenris opened the door she took a small breath and went in. 

The cloying smell of ale and sour vomit rose up to meet her and she prayed that she wouldn't be sick - again, but as he ventured further into the dingy tavern found that it wasn't as bad as she had feared she still popped a little ginger into her mouth to make sure. 

At this time of the morning it wasn't as busy but there were the regulars even at this hour. Giving a small nod in greeting to Corff, noting that Nora looked her usual harried self, they made their way deeper into the room, walking around the patches of blood spattered floor - remnants of past drunken brawls, some of which Isabela herself had instigated. 

As they approached Varric's room she felt a warm calloused hand press into hers followed by a reassuring squeeze. Her eyes darted to his and he winked at her - lightening the sudden apprehension lining her stomach she gives a soft giggle and grasps his hand that little harder, grateful for the surprising shot of humour and after mouthing "Thanks - love you" at him knocked on the heavy wooden door. 

After a few tense moments they hear muffled sounds, shuffling, a stifled bang followed by a louder curse and then footsteps. Several beats later and a lot of clanking as locks were being turned the door opens a crack and a set of eyes peer through the darkness. "Sodding nug shit Hawke, its you! Something up?" Flinging the door open wide he gestures for them to come in. 

The room, as ever is toasty warm, thanks to the constantly burning fire, the many carvings and home furnishings making the otherwise plain room most inviting. 

She glanced down and hesitates. "Nothing too serious, but I - that is - we need to speak to you. Um...we could come back later when you're up and about?" Varric glances up at them both at once sensing the nerves emanating from them in waves. Ever the observer he knows there's a story here, so he waves her off and asks them to sit while he gets them all something to drink. 

After they have all sat down and got comfy, Fenris reaches gently for Hawkes knee and squeezes it in another hopefully reassuring gesture and as she covers his hand with hers they both smile at each other. 

All the while the dwarf misses nothing, noticing the small touches and glances between the two. "As their eyes meet, the room vanishes and all they see is each other..." His storytelling runs through his mind but at the same time he wonders why they are here, tension running riot in the small room. 

Not one for waiting around he enquires after taking a sip of his drink. "So...."

Hawke nurses her drink, staring into is as if it had all the answers, plucking up the courage she looks up from the cold beverage, takes another breath "Well, I haven't been feeling well, for a little while and as it turns out (giving a quick glance for courage in Fenris's direction) - Fenris and I are having a baby!" 

She lifts her hands from the death grip on her mug and places them on the table and looks directly at Varric waiting for his reaction. 

His eyes widen in shock "Ancestors sodding paragon licking ass Hawke! When I said that women would be having broody babies in the elfs honour, I never thought that you'd be one of them - and with the elf himself no less!" 

At this Hawkes mouth twists, a little hurt at the comment, but he notices her crestfallen expression and backtracks. "Well shit - sorry - I just didn't think that this would be one of the many outcomes of this particular tale. I don't know what to say. I take it that it's good news? Well, you're here together so it must be - right?" 

Natalia's eyes shift from Varric to Fenris and with a quiet "Yes, very much." from him he takes her hand and rubs her knuckles. 

It sooths her and she comments "It's not something we planned, but we're having the baby so yes - good news. We've also been discussing this and thought that you might....as you are a good friend, the best and we both trust you, so should anything happen to either of us, we would like you to be the child's guardian - that's if you want to?" 

At this he inhales a sharp breath and for want of a better word, is overcome with emotion, in that small moment he actually is very moved at their proposal. Of course he would if pressed, suggest that it was nothing more than smoke from the fire getting into his eyes causing them to water a little - but they are tears nonetheless. 

"Wouldn't Aveline or Sebastian, even Donnic be more suitable? I mean I'm all for equal rights and all that but are you sure?" 

Answering him with her own wide smile she meets his watery gaze. "Oh Varric - you are so perfect for this - witty, charming and there's no one better we'd like to do this for us. Of course, we're going to ask Aveline too, as sort of an Aunt so it'll be less pressure for you, so don't worry." 

She springs up and after running round the absurdly long table, gives him a rare hug to which he awkwardly pats her back, all the while glancing gingerly towards Fenris who more than anything has a look of contentment about him - perhaps even happiness, as he smiles at Hawke. "Well paint me pink and call me a nug." He thinks to himself, shocked - again his mind taking it all in and unravelling the details so that he can wind it back together into a brilliant tale, but that would come later. 

As Hawke stands up she hears a metallic clink and looks up back towards the now open door. 

"Well well - early morning visits eh? Not to mention a baby Fenris on the way. Congratulations is in order I guess?" Isabela smirks her way into the room, her swagger exaggerated as always. 

Natalia regains her equilibrium and replies "Hiya Izzie. We were coming to see you but you've saved us the trip and, from that comment I see you overheard us?" Moving back to sit next to Fenris, who has been quiet, she looks to the pirate who has sauntered over to sit by Varric, plonking herself heavily down onto the vacant seat. 

She then moves towards Hawke and with a tut reaches across and picks up her mug with a "In your condition - drinking! _Not_ allowed!" Then proceeds to drain the whole thing in one gulp, placing the mug back down with a flourish whilst wiping the back of her mouth with her hand. "Ooh the good stuff!" 

Still not able to figure out what Isaleba is thinking she stays silent, as do they all and the tension for some reason has crept back into the room, and at a loss as to why, Hawke remains quiet. 

The two women's eyes meet and she swears that she sees a fleeting look of loss, if not pain, in the chocolate brown eyes peering back at her, but in a flash the moments lost leaving her wondering if she'd imagined it. "So I take it that the smouldering, glistening elf has "established his cannon" far too well?" 

The mouthful of ale Fenris had taken to quench his sudden thirst is suddenly spewed all over the table - mainly directed at Isabela. 

A few shocked gasps aside, she moves to wipe the now warm, dripping ale out of her eyes and off her face and meets Hawkes eyes again with a smirk and with a "See what I mean?" Like that the tension that had thickened the room evaporates and they all chuckle, although Fenris's cheeks are pink with embarrassment. 

"You do know that this will take all the fun out of travelling with you - probably means you'll get all scared and run off to "rest" a lot?" 

The sparkling humour in her eyes takes away the venom in the statement and Hawke replies with genuine relief "Yes, I know I have to take care of myself more so now. So I won't be going on any more quests, ones that involve traps, poison, mercenaries, hulking ogres. So yes - sorry to be a party pooper on that front - but what do you really think? I mean as a friend....." Trailing off and again blue eyes meet brown. 

"I don't really have any idea what you want me to say.....but if you're happy then I'm happy, just don't expect me to look after it when its born. Screaming, helpless shitty small objects are so not my thing - I prefer them tall and able to look after themselves." Her gaze softens to let her know she doesn't mean to be harsh but its her way and all she knows. 

To soften the blow she goes over to Hawke and gives her a hug, even getting a small grope in amongst it, not one to miss an opportunity to which she feels a sharp sting as Fenris flicks her hand, and with a small "Don't worry pet, I'll be here if you need me." into her ear, pulls away from her and with a feigned disgusted "I need to get changed - I have elf juice all over me!" Flounces off out of the room. 

Sighing Natalia presses her hand to her forehead with "At least that's out of the way - awkward much?" 

With a cheeky smile Varric states "Never say the Rivani isn't entertaining eh? Don't mean to be rude Hawke but can I have a bit of space to at least get ready for whatever else today throws at me please? Early visitors knocked me off my game! Oh, I never did give you my answer, but yes I would very much like to be "Uncle Varric" - has a very nice ring to it don't you think?" 

Smiling as they get up together he sees tears appear in Hawkes eyes. "Hey don't you start with the misty eyes, I make it a point never to cry in this tavern - reputations to uphold and all that!" 

Fenris comes to the rescue as seeing and hearing the panic from Varric, he grabs Hawkes hand and pulls her towards the door with a "Thank you, it means a lot to us - see you later for a game?" 

"Wouldn't miss it." Comes the reply, tinged with a little gratefulness. 

Still hand in hand, they make their way down the stairs, meeting the rather strange man along the way, the one who talks to himself. Giving him a wide berth, they go back down the stairs continuing towards the entrance. 

Hawke glances down at their joined hands. "Its getting easier for you isn't it?" She isn't surprised at the soft warmth she finds in his eyes. 

He lifts her hand to his mouth and kisses her palm and with a small smile "You are not hard to love." 

They both make their way out of the tavern, the day now seeming brighter to them.


	11. Broken Chains, Captured Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I did want to include a bit about Carver in this chapter, but thought that it would have been too long-winded and that it would just be rather nice with a padding out of the dynamics between Hawke's and Fenris's relationship and a few quiet moments for them, so not to worry will have this in the next chapter. This ones filled with A LOT of fluff so be warned!
> 
> And thank you so much for the kudos and comments, and if anyone finds themselves wanting to give me their opinion, I won't say no!

Shifting in his seat, Fenris felt decidedly uncomfortable in the small, well-kept home. It wasn't overly large but despite Merrill's claim of it being seriously untidy, it was clean enough to him, though perhaps he wasn't the best judge.

His eyes took in the mass of books piled high on each table, in fact there were so many books they were also stacked around the surrounding floor space. He didn't want to acknowledge that is was familiarly like his own home, that their hunger for the written word was something they had in common. 

Albeit his interest in literature rested in history, war stories, the occasional fictional book and also some of Varric's off beat tomes that had somehow found themselves stuffed into his bookshelves, but as he thought with an inward snarl - definitely in no way connected to anything related to blood mages and their prohibited practices. 

This was the one thing he couldn't get his head around, why Hawke insisted on being friends with the Dalish elf. Mind you Hawke didn't in any way agree with the genre of magic she practiced, but due to her nature made room in her life and heart enough that she became her friend. So begrudgingly he tolerated her presence, but only when in other company. 

He found her wilfully ignorant, sometimes child like even in her approach to things of the world, but openly consorting with demons crossed a line he could not, and would not forgive. 

Again he shifted in his seat, alert and wary as Merrill carried the small tray filled with tea and sticky honey cakes over to where they sat, the concentration clear on her delicately tattooed face. 

"I hope you like the tea, its peppermint." As she placed the tray in front of her she makes herself comfortable and began to pour the liquid from a clay pot into small earthenware cups, handing them to her unexpected but appreciated visitors. 

"Yes, thanks Merrill" replied Hawke, looking much more comfortable in the young mages presence, helping herself to a cake and sitting back and balancing the small cup on her knee with a sigh of contentment, takes a sip of the hot refreshing beverage. 

Sparing a quick glance at Fenris she chews and swallows her mouthful and starts to speak "You're probably wondering why we're here, especially together?" Pointing out that although her and Merrill visited each other often, Fenris would not have made his way to the alienage willingly or without some urgent motive. 

She breaks off to take another bite of the warm, delicious cake which is rapidly disappearing and smothers a small moan. She has _such_ a sweet tooth! 

At a small impatient cough, she opens her eyes and gives a small nod to Fenris knowing he is uncomfortable but not wanting to rush things. "We've told everyone else, well that's not exactly true, but anyone that matters to us knows." 

She then thinks of Carver and resolves to write a long letter to let him know what's going on. 

Glancing at Merrill's now confused face, she sits up straighter and finishing off the cake, brushes unseen crumbs from her lap, continues. All the while thinking that this news although happy was difficult for her to tell people, especially her friends, but it is and she doesn't know why. 

"I - well, I suppose I should get right to the point really...Fenris and I are going to be parents, give or take another 8 months or so -" All she's aware of is a pink, brown and green blur combined with a high-pitched squeal headed towards her. 

It really is a miracle that table, books, tea-tray and accoutrements are not knocked to the ground, but thanks to the nimble elf nothing crashes to the floor, except nearly Hawke herself as she's knocked back into her chair by a now very over excited elf.

"Creators! Isn't that wonderful, so very exciting lethallan, I'm so very happy for you!" Still squealing with her arms wrapped round Hawke, practically sitting in her lap now. 

Despite his reservations, even Fenris shows a small smile at her joy filled reaction. 

Moving her head away to create a little space "Yes it is, aside from all the vomiting so far which isn't _that_ exciting, but thank you. Would you be up for child care duty then?" Smiling down at the excited eyes she doesn't notice the smile fading slightly on Fenris's face. 

"Of course I will!" Slipping out of her lap and back into her own chair she starts up her excited chatter again. "Have you thought of any names yet? Do you know if it's a girl or a boy? I hope they have your hair - they will be beautiful no matter anyway. What if they're a mage like you, wouldn't Fenris be angry?" 

At this innocent comment they both look towards him and he shrugs, not wanting to have that particular conversation in front of anyone but in private. 

She continues with the babbling conversation, slipping quick questions out in between sips of tea and bites of cake, scattering large crumbs about haphazardly with both Fenris and Hawke trying to reply when they could and at the same time hopelessly trying avoid the mini cake avalanche. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

After all the excitement it is a small relief to escape into the relative quiet of the alienage, however Natalia notices that as Fenris stands quietly beside her there's an air of brooding radiating off him in waves, whatever he is thinking cannot be good. 

She looks at him and with a sigh asks "What's on your mind? I know you still don't like Merrill, and you don't agree with my offering her to look after our child, but for the Makers sake, it's not as if she's going to do anything wrong - to a child!" 

He narrows his gaze and she shifts her feet waiting with bated breath for his reply. He closes his eyes and with his own heavy sigh relents. "I apologise. I find it difficult being present in her company still. I spent so long with magisters, the distrust will always be with me - especially with blood magic's. However as the father of our child, I feel I should get to make, or at least share in the decisions about their welfare. So please I ask you to also consider my opinion in these matters?" 

At his words she feels a little taken aback, not thinking of how he would feel and at the same time not meaning to make him feel left out. 

Moving closer to him she lightly touches his shoulder, gathering her thoughts. "I'm so sorry, I've not had to consider anyone else's opinion in what feels like forever, and yes, I'm aware that decisions I made before nearly always only affected me. Being with you has made me adjust my way of thinking, that it's not just me on my own now, and that what I do doesn't only affect me but you too, and I love that." Her fingers absent-mindedly play with the red sash tied around his wrist. 

"I guess this is something that we will learn as we go along, and I apologise now if I do anything to hurt you - unintentionally of course." 

Her blue eyes look to him with a little plea for understanding. "Please...I know we won't always agree with my friendship with Merrill, but I honestly believe she is a kind soul who has travelled down the wrong path because she didn't have the correct guidance. I hope in time to steer her away from blood magic." 

She grips his hands, fervently hoping he is taking her words to heart. "Besides if I'm not there to instil caution, don't you think her future will be darker without me? I mean she doesn't have her clan since they shunned her, and I think the demon killing the only mother figure she's ever known has scarred her so deeply she may never want to deal with demons again. But I want to help her - you know me, always a helper!" 

She tries to ease her grip, not wanting to hurt him and with a barely there smile filled with trepidation, asks "So...am I forgiven?" 

Trying to hide the small smile suddenly gracing his handsome face, he leans in closer to her and whispers "Make it up to me later?" Wide blue eyes meet green and her ghost of a smile changes into one of mirth. "Hey, I'm beginning to think you only want me for one thing...but I'm sure I can think of something..." Kissing the end of his nose to take the sting out of the comment, she moves away from him to the nearby stall, looking at the various wares for sale. 

Amongst the jewellery, scarves and household objects, she spies a delicate silver ring that catches her eye, its small and very pretty but simple, the oval stone at one glance is silvery sky blue but as she picks it up notices that it flashes a shimmering leafy green - but she's not here to shop so she reluctantly puts it back down, the stall owners face falling at the loss of a sale. 

All the while Fenris is watching her closely, and when she makes towards the large Vhenadahl to admire the tree itself as well as the gifts and offerings around it, he moves along with her in silence, knowing this is not the end of their conversation. 

In a quiet voice she asks "Fenris - our child, they will be half-elf but also half-human...so I was thinking I'd like to be able to tell him or her about both of our histories. I mean it will be easy for me as I have a wealth of memories and both my parents kept journals, but I don't really know how you feel about yours - not the slave bit, not yet anyway. Although it's an important part of your history too and we can tell them when they can understand, when they're older. Plus I was thinking that you could tell them what you remember of your childhood - that's - that's if you want to of course?" 

Shyly glancing sideways at him, noticing him staring unseeing up through the heavy green branches of the huge tree, and after a few moments he replies "My past is just that - my past - but I have no shame in what I went through, it has made me stronger than I had thought - and brought me to you." 

He directs his serious gaze at her. "I once thought that I could not get past the pain that reliving my memories brought, but now I am fully aware of the price that not facing them would cost me. The journal you gave me has been such a great aid to me. Over time I have been able to face more of them, and putting quill to paper...well, it has been a journey at times sad but along with those are moments filled with joy. You know this as I share everything I write down with you, and it is a path I would not dare face without you. So yes...I think it would be a valued gift for our son or daughter to have both of our histories - though as you say my full past is better left when they are of an age to understand." 

He gives a small pause but continues, knowing he had to get this off of his chest before it ate away at them both. "Merill brought up a very important matter, among the inane chatter." 

His eyes become soft as he voices his concerns to her, at that moment nerves press against him but he is also glad they are free to talk about such things without fear of hurting one another. "I know that you are afraid - that I fear our child will be a mage, and that you think I will shy away from any affection, or even love them less because of it." 

When she opens her mouth to protest, he places his finger gently on her lips, motioning to her that he needed to say his piece. 

"Being with you, watching you fight and use your magic to defend those worth defending, and seeing it used against those who would take your life and try to end the lives of those you hold dear, including myself, has made me realise that your way is how magic is meant to be wielded. It is a part of you that you have accepted, and because I am yours and you are mine I too have accepted this. You have magic in you, and I do not love you any less for it. No other mage has ever inspired that kind of awe in me, and I know that you do not use your talents lightly." 

His words are so very beautiful and her eyes at once fill with happy tears. 

There isn't an answer she can give to match his heartfelt words, at least not at this moment, so she vows to herself to show him how overwhelmed and touched she finds them, later when they are alone. 

He lightly traces her lips with his finger, and knows his feelings are a reflection shining in her tear filled blue eyes. "I will love our children no matter what they are born as. I am not denying that it would be a hard life if they were mages, but with you as a mother they would have all the guidance they would ever need. I vow to protect them and shield them from danger, but we will get through that if we need to." 

She smiles at that last comment "Children? We haven't even had this little one and you're wanting more?" He shrugs and smiles back at her "I do not want our first to grow up alone, but that is a discussion another time." 

Hawke takes his hand and, resting her head on his shoulder, with his arm wrapped round her, in an exceptional moment of contentment they both soak up the peaceful space. 

With the chattering sounds of the melodic bird song and the gentle wind rustling through the leaves, both of them can declare in that moment anyway, they feel a small measure of peace. 

With a small, quiet "Thank you. You know, despite what anyone says, this really is a fantastic tree, a real thing of beauty." Having never felt more loved in her life, she somehow knows that everything will be alright.

She pulls him towards the exit, where he shows no resistance and with her head still resting on his shoulder, they take their sweet time leaving the alienage.


	12. Letters and Past Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N In my last play through of DA2 I actually got max friendship between Carver and Hawke, don't ask me how, but I do feel that despite their differences that as a family unit they would need to put these aside in the interest of survival, and my Hawke is ever the nice one (I do hate being a hater in games!). Just a little chapter about family.

Laying her staff against the bench in the entrance hall she says "We'll get something to eat - starving by the way - then I need to write a letter to Carver to let him know he's going to be an uncle. Then maybe head to Gamlens to see what all the fuss was about this morning?"

Walking into the main room, they both head directly to the kitchen, not being able to resist the delicious mouth-watering aromas wafting in their direction. 

As always, the young blonde elf was cooking up a storm, several pots boiling on the open fire and at the same time the kitchen itself was immaculate, Orana had proved a vital addition to their household. 

Still very nervous around strangers, she rarely crossed the threshold to venture into the main city itself, preferring to potter around the humble well-kept garden on the estate and helped tend the small herb gardens. 

Though, mess with anything in the kitchen itself, then you're inviting trouble as it was the one area in the house that Orana came out of her shell. 

Hawke remembered one time where she had invited the girls round for a girls night in, and Izzie had snuck into the kitchen to pilfer some freshly made chocolate cakes, but had only just made it out with her fingers intact. The petite elf, who had appeared from nowhere had caught her snooping and had then menacingly stood guard with a rolling-pin of all things! 

Izzie had seen the funny side and had left the kitchen with a flurry of apologies giggling to herself. 

With a cheerful hello in greeting to Orana, Hawke slid into the seat next to Fenris, who was already pouring her a mug of water and himself a mug of wine at the same time watching the activity around him with great interest. 

Todays meal was a rich beef stew, with chunky vegetables and still warm crusty bread with lashings of butter to which they both tucked into with enthusiasm, not wanting to waste a drop, their soft voices lost among the louder noises of the kitchen. 

A while later, with Fenris out in the yard taking advantage of the sunlight and making small repairs to his rather massive great sword, Hawke settled at the modest desk in her room. 

She grabbed a roll of parchment, picked up a newly sharpened quill and opened the ink well ready to start that letter, allowing herself to think about her brother and how much she missed him. 

Although, they hadn't always been as close as they were now. 

Closing her eyes as she remembered with not so much a fresh sadness, but an ache born of past regrets due to the waste of the lost time. 

Precious time spent arguing, mostly due to Carvers antagonistic almost vicious attitude he'd had towards her - his own petty jealousy creating a rift between them that she had fought hard against and sought harder to repair. 

It wasn't her fault that she and Bethany had been born mages and that their father needed to spend more of his precious time nurturing their talents, to make sure they were no danger to themselves or others. Her father had loved them all equally, but despite knowing this Carver had felt bitter and resentful. 

She knew that Carver did love her, deep down, but it seemed he hadn't liked her very much and therefore hadn't made a lot of time for her which had been hurtful. 

Bethany's death had hit them all hard, but as he shared a family link none of them were ever to understand, he'd kept his grief buried until they had returned from obtaining their grandfathers will for mother - he had angrily blamed her for not saving their sister, his twin. 

The open shock that had registered on his face would have been comical had it not been for the seriousness of the discussion when she had tearfully agreed with him, guilt shining in her eyes, and at her admission his temper had rapidly cooled with the wind being knocked out of his sails. 

Her finding letters which had revealed his namesake had in a big way, helped to breach the gap between them further. Discovering that he'd been named after a Templar who his father had greatly respected, meant he had something of his own to link him personally with their father and in that respect, their families history. 

Although he usually disagreed with Natalia's choices - mainly out of spite - he did appreciate his inclusion in the many adventures they travelled. 

It wasn't until the famed Deep Roads expedition that things came to a head. Everything that happened on that fateful journey was forever etched into her mind. From the bright sun burning high above them, the ever-present soar of the eagles in the sky, to the distress filled eyes of their mother when she had agreed that Carver should join them despite the protests. 

To this day, she regretted going against her mothers wishes but to have gone without him was at that time unthinkable, and having no way to know what was to happen, they had all been blind to the dangers they were about to expose themselves to. 

With anguish she pictured the sight of a usually formidable woman walking away, shoulders slumped in defeat, and she had not been able stop herself from running after her, embracing her and asking for forgiveness with a small promise to keep him safe. 

That promise hadn't gone to plan and she had felt like an utter failure, what with Carver nearly falling to the blight. Again she thanked the Maker for Ander's intervention as if he hadn't had another option to bring him to the Grey Wardens, she more than likely would have had to end his suffering at her own hands, and that would have killed her. 

With the few sporadic letters she'd received from him it seemed that he had finally found his own path, not that she would have loathed it at all if he'd still been with her, but in her own heart she had known that for him to find some sort of happiness, he would have found a way to leave and carve out his own destiny eventually. 

At least his letters showed that he was no longer fuelled by the anger that had filled his heart for so long, and for that she was most grateful. If anything he now understood and appreciated the role his elder sister had played in his life, and actually made small jokes about him being under her shadow. The jokes were in no way meant as a slight to her, but tempered with love. 

When the Qunari had declared open war against the Viscount and people of Kirkwall, their chanced brief meeting wasn't filled with anger or bitterness, but mutual sorrow over the death of their beloved mother and tinged with a small relief that Natalia's own hand had killed the mage responsible. 

Soon after that horrific day, two separate attempts at kidnap had brought them together again and they had unravelled a plot against them, had joined forces like old times, to battle rogue wardens and an ancient evil. Being together through that long drawn out battle they had bonded even further, especially after discovering long-held secrets about their father and mother - instead of pushing them further apart drew them together. 

Wiping the tears from her eyes preventing from them dripping on the blank page "Wow, seriously I am so emotional right now!" Hawke dips the quill into the ink and starts to write. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Dear Carver, 

I trust that things are well, and this letter finds you safe and relatively unscathed? Well as safe as you can be in these trying times! 

Enclosed is a little gift for you, just a little coin, so maybe you can buy some ink paper and quills - just a hint x 

Firstly, it would be lovely for you to write more often, and yes I know I don't write as much as I said I would, but I do send something at least one a month, so you can't sit there with that scowl and argue with me so there, much as you'd like to. 

Being "Champion" is busy but it's not as glamorous as it sounds - just fixing other people's problems really - mostly involving knives and traps which are aimed at me and my friends. Missing it much? I know I would like to have a break from it all. 

Blaze sends his hugs, well, that's if he could hug of course, but if you were here he'd definitely be slobbering all over you, he knows how much you love that! 

Everything is okay here, quiet enough would you believe? Still the odd faction out for my blood - no pun intended here. After the Qunari episode and with Meredith tightening the already restrictive reigns, some are too afraid to step out of line. She is a little scary, there's a look in her eye I don't trust, but hopefully everything will be roses from here on in, if she would only stop arguing with every mage she sees. Not me - I try to stay out of her way. 

I miss having you by my side, but it's great to hear you're all grown up, but when I do have trouble, more often than not Fenris is here for me. 

Just if you didn't get that glaringly obvious hint - he and I are together. I know you two didn't get on before you left, but I never told you who to love so I would appreciate it if you showed the same courtesy, please? Yes, I do love him very much and can't see myself with anyone else - ever. 

Sorry for making you feel sick there with that little awfully sweet admission, but there really isn't any other way to tell you. 

Yes he's an ex-slave and an elf and he did hurt me a while ago, but we've both gotten past that. Mother was actually happy for me, so I hope you are too...please? 

Anyway, it's a little late if you don't agree, you see - you're going to be an uncle! 

Now don't scowl and no, Fenris doesn't need to be beaten to a pulp so stay where you are, until you've calmed down at least. It was to say, a bit of a shock for us both, but we're very much looking forward to it now. We've got about 8 months to get used to the idea. 

To be honest I am aware that Mother would have wanted me married before children came along, but I hope she's watching over us with a smile. I really miss her and I really don't know how I'm going to do this without her. I am scared - there, I said it - me scared of something, please don't fall off your seat! 

I've already got an amazing bunch of people willing to help me out, but it isn't the same as I know a piece of me is still afraid without her, so yes I wish you were here, but you're not so I have to make the best of it. Mind you I'm not sure what you would do, apart from a lot of pacing and brooding, but I've got my own brooding champion for that, but having you here would be nice. 

Not sure what I would prefer, boy our girl, but I hope its healthy and fat! No names yet either but please write with your suggestions, nothing too vulgar or stupid. However, I was thinking of Carver for a middle name - and on this I am totally serious, it's a good name, a strong one. 

So there you have it, all the news of the week, please write soon, I do wish someone would invent some sort of contraption that would speed up the letter delivery process as you know I'll be getting all anxious for your reply worrying what you think. 

Before you start worrying about me, I've already decided to stop fighting and I'll be helping out at the Chantry so staying out of trouble. 

As I said earlier in the letter, please find the coin enclosed and don't worry I can afford it, and this is really your share. Oh and Izzie sends her regards - anything to tell me brother dear? 

Maker bless you and keep you. 

Lots of love 

Natalia 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Waiting for the ink to dry, Hawke folds the letter and places a rather large coin purse within the folds of the parchment and, picking up the nearby lit candle uses it to melt a stump of sealing wax, waits for a blob to drop and presses the ring with the Hawke crest against the cooling wax. Dipping the quill in the ink again she turns the now thick letter over and writes Carver's address on the blank space. 

Leaving the letter on the side of the desk, ready for posting later, she sighs and stretches out the kinks in her neck and wonders what the time is. 

Standing up and walking to the bathing room, she washes her blackened fingers free of the ink and goes to check on how Fenris is getting on.


	13. Shock Not Awe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks I'm back. Yay! I have spent a large portion of my time playing - and I must say loving - Dragon Age Inquisition. I've my first play through out of my system so managed to write another chapter. Its got a few twists, something that I'm working on, and I will try to get the next one up ASAP, but I hope you like.

Curiosity is mostly a positive quirk, of course only when you don't find yourself swamped in trouble at the end of it all course, and Hawke was by nature a little curious, which is why she found herself standing in pure puzzlement after checking a small pile of bags which had been left by the front door.

It wasn't until after realising she recognised a familiar slightly warn tunic neatly folded and placed on top of one of the bags, her heart missed a beat and stupid, silly thoughts had run through her head. 

Standing there for a few moments more, replaying the beautiful, unexpected and heartfelt words Fenris had spoken to her earlier her heart kicked back into normal rhythm. She knew he wouldn't leave her - not after all he said - she knew that to the very depth of her soul, but it still hadn't prevented random thoughts entering her head like they had. So she pushed the errant thoughts out of her mind and went in search of her other half. 

Stepping out into the small, neatly tended stone-walled courtyard just outside that Fenris used for training, although gloriously filled with sunshine at this time of day, she found it was bereft of one lanky elf so went to check the kitchens, but Orana had no idea where he'd gotten to either. 

After another few fruitless minutes, there was no sign of him anywhere. Not worrying all that much, okay maybe just a little as he hadn't mentioned going out at all, she also felt frustrated that her curiosity would for now, remain unanswered until he returned from wherever he had gone off to. 

So with a grumpy huff she went to console herself with some tea and a bit of decidedly sinful walnut cake - maybe she'll have _two_ slices. 

The estate itself was kept in a very neat condition, with nearly all the thanks going to Orana and Bodahn, as Hawke did try to tidy up after herself, but sometimes her mind would be preoccupied so she wasn't as neat as she wanted, and after spending a few minutes putting away laundry, making the bed and shuffling papers she found herself at a loss for something to do. 

After all, Fenris had said that he had wanted to go visit Gamlen with her, but he wasn't here, and she was beginning to feel a little _bored_. 

Spying the as yet undelivered letter on her desk and after a second of contemplation, she made her mind up, thinking to herself "I can post this and at the same time see what that uncle of mine wants." Snatching the heavy letter off the desk, she makes her way out of the house, picking her staff up along the way, only just remembering to shout out to Orana that she was going to post a letter then head on to Gamlen's, and if Fenris wanted to join her later he was most welcome to. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

After the Qunari attack, everyday life in the markets and most residential areas of the city had gotten back to normal, well as much as it could for some. 

Though after one particularly brutal attack where an entire family had died, what was left of their home was eventually knocked down and a small garden planted in its stead, along with three benches where people could come and either pay their respects to the family or sit in contemplation and grieve for their own losses if need be. 

It had become something of a small memorial garden, where someone had donated a small, delicate statue of Andraste holding a small brazier and the flame tended by a sweet old man Hawke spoke to often, but had never learnt his name. 

On this rare occasion, the place was empty and Hawke sat down on the nearest seat, as she did absent-mindedly noticed a small vine like purple flower growing up the side of the bench, she knew what it was but the name escaped her. 

Deciding to take time and enjoy the lovely day, Hawke closes her eyes and sits back, offering her own prayer asking that He watched over her extended family and that they could be all kept safe, she couldn't think of not having any of them by her side and would always fear for them. 

Hawke was not an idiot and knew deep down that the fragile peace this city had found would not last, not with the mages and templars at each others throats on a nearly daily basis. 

There was a restlessness in the air, like the city was holding its breath or something - that's how it felt to her at least. 

With a resigned, weary sadness with the niggling feeling that something big was on the horizon that would change all of their lives - but not knowing _what_ , she finished her prayer as she placed her hand on her stomach she hoped with all her being that this little one would be brought into the world safely. "Well for one thing your father and I will fight to protect you, so would everyone else for that matter." 

She imagined a baby girl and in a flash Bethany came into her mind and an ache washed over her as she thought about her dear, beloved sister. Beth would have loved the prospect of being an aunt, would have revelled in the news that there would be a child to play with and to teach things to. 

Just another loss she'd had to endure - when Bethany had died she had felt so guilty, would have done anything to switch places with her, but that was when the rawness of her sister's death had been so new. 

In fact, her wilful disregard for her own life had been the thing that brought her and her mother together again. 

Having been treated for injuries after a trip to the Wounded Coast, Leandra had chastised her for not taking more care of herself and that had resulted in an argument that had, unbelievably cleared the air. 

After the Deep Roads, Hawke had distanced herself from her mother, mostly out of guilt but also the fact that as the oldest child, she had responsibilities to care for her family and, with Carver gone, yes they had money now, but she had failed to protect him, and knew her mother blamed her. 

Or rather thought the blame lay with her, but the argument had forced them to finally talk to each other and in the tear filled hugs that followed they had again became close. The time they spent together was one of the things that Hawke treasured, but she just wished they'd had more time as it had been far too short, but then again, no amount of time would have been enough. 

Snapping out of her musings, she glances down at the thick letter in her lap, turning it over and thinking that it wouldn't post itself, she gets up and makes her way into the market, waving at Worthy in greeting and stands at the back of the small line outside the messenger depot, pays the too high price for first class messenger and arranges for notification upon delivery, sets off down into Lowtown towards Gamlens home. 

Remembering with a shudder the cramped bedroom she used to share, and the rather weird smell of cabbage, that was _always_ pointed out to her, she knocks lightly on the door and doesn't have to wait long before its opened hurriedly, with Gamlen peeking through the dark gap. "Oh, Natalia, I was wondering when you'd get here - you certainly took your time!" 

She let the comment wash over her as she knew how snarky he could be, it was just his way and there was no point in a retort as he would just get grumpier, so putting on a fake smile she replies "So happy to see you too, you going to let me in?" 

He immediately opens the door and ushers her in and after shutting the door he turns towards her, but before they both can say anything further a heavily accented voice speaks from somewhere in the darkened corner of the room "Well, well - welcome my dear." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

_A month later..._

Walking along the dimly lit main hall, with the weight of history baring down on him from the huge commemorative tapestries adorning the high stone walls in so many colours, some vivid and others faded with time, the minutely and often gory detailed scenes of battles long past, he speeds up his pace trying to get out of there as soon as possible. 

They never failed to send shivers down his spine those things. He was all for celebrating glory when achieved, but as the once teaming halls were now barely filled, save a few hundred brothers and sisters in arms, reality was most definitely different to hearsay. 

For some stationed here - including himself, the monuments and trophies were now seen as merely echoes of what the Grey Wardens once were and he felt like he lived in a museum with all the unused axes, swords and shields hanging off the walls, not to mention the huge ogre horns and other bones on display in glass cabinets. 

Instead of feeling triumph at being part of the Grey Warden legacy, he felt disheartened, especially with the non-existent First Warden barely showing his face to any of the new recruits, if at all. Wasn't he meant to visit and see his subordinates in action, to perhaps take a more pro-active role teaching or at least boosting morale instead of never being here? 

Wearily he made his way to the main banquet hall, his gleaming armour clanking with each step. After spending most of the morning and afternoon training his third batch of raw recruits he just wanted food and then bed, in that order - and soon. 

That was one thing that kept him sane - the training, and by all that was holy he would drill the soft whelps into something his mentor Stroud would be proud of. 

The shouts could be heard before he's even reached the door and as he opened it the raised voices get even rowdier. Ah, he grimaced, Benson was at it again - trying to drink Frye under the table whilst everyone else was just "helping" them along and rather loudly too. 

There were around 20 or so bodies at the table, and as soon as Frye spotted Carver she nearly choked on her ale bellowing "Hawke! Nice of you to join us you Ferelden dog!" Trying to raise her mug at the same time and nearly losing her balance. 

This was what helped him not become too homesick, the close bond every one of them shared made it all seem worthwhile - this was what being a warden meant, to know that you could die defending the lands from Darkspawn, that together you faced uncertainty meant they were family, not just friends. 

Currently it seemed that their goal was to get totally drunk, so he smiled and waved, and after hefting a lot of food on his plate he joined the large group trying to balance his plate as they jostled him to a gap made for him on the bench so he could sit down. 

"Frye - its lucky for you we burn that ale off so fast you won't feel it in the morning!" Amongst a mouthful of chicken, gravy and potato. She laughs loudly and passes him his own drink, which he takes gratefully, sighing into the full mug of ale he resigns himself to his fate - he was in for a long night. 

A few hours after the early evening meal had started and the drink was flowing steadily, the noise level had risen if that was possible, but they all turn towards the main door as it opens widely, and a hooded elf runs in clutching his post-bag. Half of them cheer as they've been looking forward to the post. 

Carver smirks as he's the first to get a rather battered heavy letter and he knows it's from his big sister and moves away from the main group holding it aloft as they jokingly make to grab it from his hand. Yes it is from Natalia as he would recognise her bold looping writing anywhere and as he rips the wax seal open he manages to catch the large coin purse which falls out and looks at it in wonder. "Hey Hawke, what you do to get that!" Someone shouts over to him. 

"Nothing - it's from my sister!" he replies with a massive smile. 

"Can she adopt me?" Comes the loud slurred response. Several others shout their agreement and other adoption requests follow, one offer of marriage even. 

He starts to read the letter and blinks as he reaches one particular line. After a few seconds, the smile completely vanishes from his face, replaced by a look of barely contained anger and with a loud shout of "WHAT?" he staggers over to an empty bench and slumps over banging his head on the table. 

Filled with concern, Frye herself wobbles over to where he's sat and quietly asks Carver "Hey mate, what's up?" to which he holds the letter up to her without lifting his head. She takes the parchment from him and hears a muffled "Read it. I can't believe it...I'm. Going. To. Be. An. Uncle." He spits the words out as if he still can't process the words written on the pages. 

"Yep my friend, you really are - hey it's not such a terrible thing is it?" Patting him heavily on the back.

Carver looks up at her and says "Not sure - need to think...she's not _married_ you know...Maker help that bloody elf if I - no when I - get my hands on him. Need to speak to the boss" His head thuds back on the table heavily as at that moment the drink and the shock catches up with him and he passes out.


	14. Long Trek Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - sorry so sorry for the longer than expected break, family dramas then Christmas and New Years! Happy New Year to all - I know its a little late, but there I've said it now. This chapter was a little difficult as didn't know whether to go back in time or to stick with the "present" so to speak, so I stuck with the present, I do hope to post another soon, drama not withstanding. Hope you enjoy - and again, many many thanks to all the kudos, much appreciated!

"Andraste's flaming nethers!" Carver thought as he shifted on the saddle for the hundredth time, there really wasn't a comfortable spot anymore, but at that moment it wasn't Andraste's nethers he was thinking of - there definitely was a reason why Ferelden's didn't have horses, or if they did, didn't use them much for riding this long a distance was his next thought.

He brought the large black stallion, aptly named Thunder to a slow halt by pulling on the reigns and softly clicking and waited for Frye to catch up on her smaller light brown gelding, Thomas - Maker knows who named the shy horse but both animals actually got on really well with one another. 

He reaches around to his pack and pulls out a leather water skin and after pulling out the stopper, takes a long draw from it, holding it out to Frye as she finally reaches him. "What kept you?" he asks with a smirk, knowing that his fellow Grey Warden hadn't taken to horse riding as he had, well after a fashion, he'd only fallen off three times so far. 

She swipes the canteen from him and with a huff replies "Laugh it up arse!" Smiling at him the humour reaches her light green eyes, before taking her own drink, finding the funny side despite being dreadfully sore, tired and to be truthful, more than a bit grubby.

After Carver had woken up at first bell the following morning after receiving Natalia's letter, he had instantly gone to his superior Alain to request some personal leave, it wasn't given freely but on occasion it was granted. 

It had been a day or so after his request that he'd been informed that it had been begrudgingly given, on the basis that he deliver several missives on his travels and was to stay in Kirkwall itself no more than two weeks. 

Of course he had agreed willingly so anxious was he to get to his sister and find out once and for all what was going on. Trust his sister to only mention the fact that she was with child and unmarried in too short a letter, he didn't even know if they were now betrothed or anything as near that, and it was something he really needed to confirm for his peace of mind. 

He kept thinking to himself that if he'd still been at home somehow this wouldn't have happened, but it had so it wasn't something he could fix, and the only thing he could think of doing was to check on the situation for himself personally. If he needed throw a good punch in the direction of one white haired elf to sort him out, well, it would make him feel better anyway. 

Having someone accompanying him was an added bonus, he had intended to go it alone - faster that way. However Frye herself had mentioned it was quite a way to go by oneself, so it had been authorised that they would travel together. 

They got on quite well so he hadn't given it a second thought, but one of his friends Peter had smirked at him with a comment "Just the two of you eh - don't forget the rules!" To which he blankly stared back...what rules? 

It was good having a rogue alongside him, helping hunt for meals and picking off any stray bandits or animals, though there hadn't been too much trouble on the way, people were still rejoicing from the blight ending and Grey Wardens were viewed in a positive light - so far they'd been given small food packs, free shelter, and one grateful farmer had even offered them his cow, but of course this they couldn't accept, but instead took some high quality cheese with thanks. 

Although the ride so far had been hard and fast, it had taken them a month to reach Nevarra alone. They had skirted the valleys and hills a little down from Weisshupt and kept to the tributaries of the Minater River, stopping overnight in several locations such as Caimen Brea and Hunter Fell, delivering letters as their orders had dictated. 

The inns they had taken rooms at were not the height of luxury, but each had slept deeply and soundly due to straw mattresses being so much nicer and softer than the hard ground under thin bed rolls, but they had both said their trek could have been made during the freezing weather during Firstfall which would have made the journey very difficult, if not down right impossible. 

As it was the warmer weather made for good riding and they were making good time. 

Both agreed travelling though Nevarra City itself would have added at least a week onto their journey so had cut across the mainly flat grasslands, meeting the Imperial Highway between Nevarra and Cumberland. 

They'd had a relatively comfortable journey for the last part despite the large tax they'd had to pay just for travelling on said road - Frye had called it day light robbery - not to the officials face of course. 

They had pondered about travel through the Planasere Forest but had decided to ride along the foot of the Vinmark Mountains as it would be safer, and with the mountain pass it made the last run into Kirkwall easier and their taint made Darkspawn detection well covered as an early warning system so that they weren't caught unawares, at least by a random genlock. 

He pulled on Thunder's reigns and came to a halt, the horse softy whinnying. The gates of Kirkwall were in view at last. 

It had taken just over one month and three weeks to get to Kirkwall, and for the most part only suffering from a deep bone aching tiredness from spending long durations on horseback, too few stops and not having a proper bed and also the limit to the amount of food they could bring with them, yes they had brought along high energy food to help but it didn't measure up to their usual fare. 

To get to a good clean bath would be Maker sent too and he turned to Frye with a small smile "Well, we've made it". 

Alexia huffs back "Yeah, would it be okay if we magically re-invent the Griffon as there is no way you're going to get me back on a bloody horse after all of this." Her comment is made in jest but there is a touch of sadness in her voice. He reaches round and pats her awkwardly on the leg, he shifts and she moves too. 

They were a horse down, as up until that last week through the mountains and into the Wounded Coast they hadn't encountered many hostiles and what they had come up against had been dealt with quickly - with Frye's arrows or Carvers menacing aura - he was able to dissuade several bandits from attacking them as they knew they'd be on the losing end, plus the famed armour they both wore helped give them an edge, but the final leg of the journey had been the worst. 

After having just set up camp for the night on the coast, the fire lit and two rabbits cooking slowly, the sun had been setting so visibility was poor when they'd heard an alarming click-clack noise and from out of nowhere a massive black spider jumped at Carver and he had automatically reached for his sword, the damned thing had tried to bite through his armour, but it was good Warden quality so had only been dented, he'd quickly unsheathed his double bladed great sword and killed it, scanning the area for more danger. 

Frye had let loose several arrows in quick succession, her keen eyes dispatching three more, however one had been missed in the gloom, and they suddenly turned towards the horses as nightmarish screams filled the night sky, they both ran to Thomas in horror as the beast sank its fangs into his back leg. 

Carver had killed the damned thing quickly but it had been too late, and it had then taken him a good half hour to calm Thunder down, who in the commotion had ran off towards the shore, he had led him back to the camp, and as he stood over Frye who was resting her head close to Thomas and whispering softly to him, he knew that it wouldn't be too long until the poor gentle horse had succumbed to the poison flowing through his veins. 

As Thomas had drawn his last breath, Frye had let out a loud sob and Carver couldn't take any more, he had pulled her into his arms and tried to offer comfort but knew it would take time. Along this journey they had all became close, had learnt one others habits and had bonded so well, this loss would be felt for some time to come. 

Even Thunder had made his way timidly to Carver and rested his nose on his head as if to try to offer comfort to him too. 

They approach the gates and again stop upon request, the guard asks for their papers or identification. At this Carver lifted his brow at the obvious get up him and his colleague were in, but sighed and took his papers from his pack, Fry doing the same. 

The guard lifts his head up and nods in acceptance, handing the identification and Warden Orders back and moves towards the huge gates which open as if by unseen hand, but really there's a guard up above them on the wall working the gate mechanism, but it is weird the way it was opened. 

Carver taps his heels to Thunders side and they make their way into the city itself. 

They quickly found the stables and paid for Thunder to rest and get some pampering after his long arduous journey, Carver and Frye leave him with a few soft pats and promises of treats when they visit soon. 

"If you want to deliver the last letters I'll go find Natalia, I really am anxious to see what's going on." He offers her a smile and also thanks her for coming with him on this trip, and despite the awkward silences at the start of it all, they are closer than before they'd set off. 

Alexia smiles at him, her eyes twinkling but tiredness shadowing them and agrees and with a "I'll go find an inn or something after - you know this is the first time I've been here, might take in some of the sights - if there is any mind you!" 

He frowns and stops her from walking away with his hand on her arm "Hey, you didn't come this far just to stay in a strange place - and Kirkwall is strange - on your own, I'm staying at the Hawke estate and you are too!" At her immediate stutter of refusal he stops her with an angry glare and she shuts up giving a small nod and huffs back "Okay, but let me cook for you and your sister or something - it would be the least I can do." 

His face brightens at this and they agree that after Frye delivers the post, she comes straight to the estate - he gives her detailed directions (he made sure he knew where Natalia lived during the Qunari invasion) - for a good feed, a nice bath and just time to herself to relax, and later after Carver saw to his sisters welfare, they would go get a few well earned drinks, even raid the cellars. 

Taking stock of the pretty, wide open spaces leading to the estate, ignoring the open glances from the numerous people milling about the stalls in the square he moved slowly and purposefully towards the Home he has never set foot in. 

He stares at the Hawke family crests either side of the front door and cannot help but feel a small measure of pride at his sister and what she - and himself - had accomplished, though he had not seen the physical benefits the expedition had brought, so this was a new experience for him, being here. 

Yet he did feel a pull of sadness borne from grief at the loss his family had borne to get to this point, but it is an old pain, one that had become part of him, his history and his future, so he softly smiles - it would be good for a child to be here, filling the halls with laughter. 

Mother and Bethany would have so loved them all living together, but he could imagine himself out at the pub every night getting away from the "henhouse" as his father had called it at times. Mother would have probably had him married off by now, or had probably pushed several nobles in front of him, but he would have grumbled at it anyway no matter if he was being looked after. 

Pausing for a deep breath he knocks the door. 

After a small delay he hears the locks being turned and of all the people he expects to answer the door it isn't Natalia herself, but as he takes in her shocked expression that turns into one of pure delight - she suddenly bursts into tears. "Oh Carver!" 

Automatically he reaches out to envelop her in a hug but she gasps with pain and he pulls back noticing for the first time that her left arm is in a sling. 

"What in the fade is going on here!" he demands as he walks into the estate, shutting the door firmly behind him.


	15. Mages Bane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kind comments and kudos, really really happy that you chose to read my story, I hope I'm doing it justice. Now we find out what the heck the letter is all about! Its a longer chapter so will post the second part possibly next week when I have it all figured out in my head.

Carver moves further into the front hallway practically dragging Natalia along with him by her good arm, who after a minute pulls away from him and composes herself after her outburst, gestures that he be quiet by flapping her good arm at him and letting out a quiet hiss of "Shhhh, I'm not meant to be out of bed!" as they both walk side by side into the main hall.

It doesn't take them long to reach one of the benches nestled up against one wall and they both sit, the wood creaking ominously with the added weight of the Warden armour. 

Carver sits down rather gingerly with a heavy sigh on the plush pillows littering the surface of the bench - the horse-riding not finished for long enough to ease or even forget the pain it can bring - takes in his sisters demeanour, her eyes were bright with the mostly unshed tears and she looked as though she'd lost weight, which wasn't a good sign. There wasn't any outward sign of her pregnancy, but she was wearing slightly loose clothes plus he didn't really have much experience of that sort of thing, so he didn't know what he should be looking for. 

Natalia sits down slowly too, her face reflecting the pain she feels and her balance slightly off by her arm in the sling. They shuffle round to face one another and in silence take time to familiarise themselves with each other again, trying to commit to memory any changes, even small ones, that may have taken place over the years they'd spent apart. 

Him taking in the dark smudges beneath her eyes, finding - despite the many adventures and trials she's written to him about, some of them heart stopping - time had been kind, her features unmarred by age, yes there were newer lines gracing her face, but not enough that you would think her old before her time. Finding love had been kind it seemed and she was blossoming with the pregnancy too, but he wasn't happy with the tiredness and strain showing in her face. 

Her taking in the missed years of her baby brothers life, of course he'd gotten that bit older, that was something she was so very thankful for, that he'd gotten that chance. Bethany would have aged just as well she thinks with a small ache. Being a Grey Warden had done nothing to diminish the chiselled good looks of the male Hawke line and if anything his shoulders had expanded, he was at least twice the size of her now. 

Carver had always taken after their father, but she manages to stifle a small sob as he just looks so much like him now. 

She can't help herself and albeit a little less rushed than normal, scoots over to him and gives him a massive hug, well as massive as it can be with one arm, he returns the hug with relief, trying not to crush her delicate frame with both his large muscles and heavy armour. 

Neither of them speak, just both happy being in each others presence again after so very long, that quick brief meeting during the Qunari invasion not even making a dent in the time spent apart. 

In his deep timbered voice he breaks the calm silence after holding her from him by asking "So, are you going to tell me what happened to you, I come here expecting you to be at least being looked after, in your condition, not wrapped up like the walking wounded. If that Elf's done anything to you I swear he won't see daylight for a season!" 

Growling the promise he notices her quickly in-drawn breath and the hurt showing in her clear blue eyes and instantly regrets his outburst and with a quick apology, he waits for his sister to explain. 

"Do you want a drink or anything before I start, this is difficult....but first things first, why are you here - not that I'm very very happy to see you - I missed you so much, but why have you travelled all the way here when I said in my letter everything's fine?" She takes his warm hand in her own and squeezes it gently, noticing that there are many more callouses than she could remember being there before. 

He sheepishly grins at her meeting her curious gaze with his own lighter sky blue one and huffs out "It was that letter you sent me, the one with all the money in it - thanks by the way - but it was the fact that you're....you're...well...and I wanted - no needed - to make sure you were okay." 

At this he drops her hand and gestures towards her stomach, his face flaming a little red as its not really a subject he talked to his sister about, or when they'd been alive Bethany or his Mother either, so at that particular moment was embarrassed beyond belief. He was no blushing virgin but it was a subject he really would have preferred not to discuss with Natalia but he needed to know for himself. 

"Car...for flames sake, what did I tell you? I didn't want you to drop everything to check on me! You didn't need to come all this way, I do appreciate it, you don't know how much, but....trust you to be a hot head when it came to this. Yes Fenris was shocked when he found out that I'm pregnant, but he got used to it as well as myself!" She smiles and remembers the delightful way he made it up to her after their not so much a fall out but minor blip, but then she is brought back to the present. 

"Yes, yes I know, but Tali, this is me we are talking about, besides I was made to do some Warden work on the way here, they don't give you free time for nothing. Oh, I brought a friend too, Alexia - originally from Denerim, also a Warden, you'll meet her soon as she's coming back here....I ah...." He rubs the back of his neck. ......"I said she could stay here." 

Natalia arches her brow at this but can't be angry at him "Alexia eh, it'd be a pleasure, there are two small, very small rooms - sorry - free at the back of the house, mind you they'll need clearing out as they're not used much, Mother's old room is being redecorated at the moment so for the time being isn't an option." 

Carver sighs in relief and leans back against the wall, the metallic clang of his armour following his movement. "Thanks for that sis, much appreciated. Um....I'd love a drink if you have one, but please tell me what's going on, you are okay aren't you, apart from the shoulder, the baby's okay isn't it?" He glances at her stomach worriedly. 

"Yes baby's okay, I won't lie to you, it's been difficult these past few weeks, but we're all okay." 

Patting her brother on the knee she uses it to heft herself up from the bench and walks over to the kitchen door, opens it a little and softly speaks to whoever is in the kitchen. Carver has never met Orana before but as Natalia sits back down, the door re-opens and in walks a very small blonde Elf carrying a tray with a large pitcher of juice, two glasses and a huge pile of biscuits. 

"Oh, Carver - Orana, Orana meet my brother, Carver." Waving her hand at them both she's waylaid by the delicious smell of the latest batch of coconut and honey creations, they are so mouth wateringly delicious she picks up two at a time and starts to eat. Barking out a loud laugh which makes Orana jump, he apologies and takes the tray from the girl before it ends up on the floor and places it on a small table near them, and with a thank you, the girl hurries back into the kitchen. 

"Oh, so that's the girl you rescued from slavers?" He queries which is met with a muffled "Yep" in response, he also takes two biscuits and fills both glasses with the refreshing juice, passes one to Natalia and starts to drink one himself. 

"Right, no more delays - spill please?" He looks to his sister, pleading. 

She settles back against the pillows on the bench, takes a sip of her drink and with a sideways glance at her brother begins her explanation. "I guess I'd better start from the beginning, weirdly enough it all started the day I sent you your letter......" 

\------------------------------------------------------------ 

Gamlen's home was normally dim and dreary, when they'd lived there the only thing that brightened the place were a few cheap brightly coloured rugs and dozens of candles that littered nearly every surface. It was a wonder the place never combusted with all the residual heat. 

After stepping into her old home, none of the candles were lit so as soon as the door is shut, the main room is nearly in total darkness, the only thing preventing it from being complete dark is the muted light shining through from outside. 

None of this actually mattered to Hawke as this point as she tries to find Gamlens outline in her line of sight as well as trying to pinpoint the direction of the faintly familiar voice, at the same time her hands coming up in front of her in defence, pulling on her mana for a spell in case she needs one. 

Before she can demand some sort of explanation, the accented voice speaks up again and the owner of the voice walks into a shaft of light coming from one of the high windows, and she instantly recognises the man. 

""Hello dear Hawke, I humbly apologise for alarming you." Gamlen had began to light some candles and the room becomes brighter, she can see more of the handsome elf who has his ever present smirk plastered on his face - as if he knows a secret he isn't inclined to share - his blonde hair shining platinum in the muted light. 

She remembers the seemingly ever present twinkle in his honey brown eyes as he clasps a hand to his chest and gives her a bow, finishing in his usual Zevran style flourish. 

Letting the gathered mana loose back into her system she lets out a breathy chuckle, half in relief that there is no immediate danger, and aims a rather pissed off glare at her uncle, who is continuing to light candles his back towards her, so is unaware of the look he's being given by his niece. 

The ex-assassin notices the dark look however and lets out a chuckle of his own whilst explaining why they were there, in the dark, apparently just standing around. 

"Forgive us for the lack of lighting, we could not be sure who was calling - I am afraid it was a necessary precaution, one cannot be too careful." 

The smile drops from Natalia's face and the anxiety curls in her stomach. 

To take her mind of the possibilities she goes to help light the rest of the candles with a few sparks from her hands until all the shadows are finally banished, and it is only then that she notices that the elf's arms and hands are covered in bandages. 

"Flames - what in the fade happened to you? Do you need healing - is that why you're here? Just to let you know, I'm an average healer so I'm not the one you need if you don't want scars but I can heal well enough..." 

Not waiting for a reply as she starts to unwrap the wounds, Zevran hissing as they pull on the deep, half healed lacerations making them bleed once more. Her hands light up with cooling magic and it's not long before they are closed leaving nothing but small pale silvery scars. 

"There that should do it. Is there anything else you need?" Letting go of his arm and moving back a little he replies "Thank you kindly my beautiful Champion, however those small scratches were not the reason I have graced your uncles establishment." His eyes are full of mirth as he nods towards Gamlen. 

Her uncle lets out a snort "I did come to see you but that blasted elf wouldn't let me anywhere near you! Besides you would have known what this other skinny shite of an elf's visit was in aid of sooner if you'd read this letter I got - its from Charade...." He pulls a slightly crinkled parchment out of his pocket and waves it at Hawke. 

Moving quickly over to him she pulls the letter from his grasp and straightens the page and scans the words written in a nearly illegible scrawl, reading quickly. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Dear Father...Gamlen...still not used to that bit! 

Anyways I've had to send this letter to you as I may have done something a little stupid. I was trying to help you, you know pay off some of your gambling bills - don't you dare say you don't have any, plus I've seen those burly men leaving the house and you with bruises after, so don't deny it. 

I tried to see if I could do a few jobs, like mercenary work what with being good with a bow and all - I know you wouldn't have wanted money handed to you, maybe you would but if you don't work for your money what's the point. 

I don't want to whine on, so cutting a rather long story short, I sort of ended up beating a Crow to their target and getting the poor girl out of there, so one girl alive, one Crow assassin really - really - pissed.......it was totally by accident and not really my fault but they won't understand. 

I'm in hiding but I really need help to get this cleared up - the Hawke kind.....if you tell her to meet me where we first met I'd be sooo glad. 

Much love 

C xx 

Oh and bring food, not much eating in mushrooms! 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Gamlen, this is just so like Charade." She looks up but cannot meet his eyes as she just knows that they will be full of hope that she can fix this, so instead she looks to Zevran who is also watching her intently, waiting for her reply. 

After a few moments of pacing she re-reads the note and tries to dredge up a plan - one that does not involve herself. "Zevran, I get why you're here now - what with this Crow business, is this some sort of revenge for you? I thought you'd gotten that out of your system? Anyway, that doesn't explain why you were covered in cuts - what happened to you?" 

There's too long a pause, and before he can utter one word she holds up her hand and interrupts him, not wanting to delay this further. "Nope, don't tell me, whatever it was I hope you dealt with it and its or whatever you're involved in isn't going to come calling to my house." He nods in agreement. 

Taking a deep breath in the vein hope she won't see the crushing realisation in her uncles face that his only daughter will have to look to someone else for aid, an idea suddenly comes to her. 

"Gamlen, Zevran, I know it seems like this is something I can march on in and fix, but I need to let you know that I can't - not won't - can't on this ocasion, but I know a few friends who can help." 

At this, Gamlen huffs and with his voice full of scorn complains "I knew it, as soon as you became Champion and moved up in the world that you'd forget about us, about family - what in the makers name would your mother say turning down your own uncle for help, just go will you, and that bloody elf can too, leave me alone, Ill - I'll figure something out myself!" 

With disgust he turns away and starts towards his bedchamber. 

Hawke can't let him think she doesn't care and underneath the anger, she can hear the desperate fear in his voice, that he won't see his little girl again, so grasps his arm to stop him leaving, where he roughly shakes her off. "Please let me explain!" 

He turns around and with folded arms waits for her to speak again "I can't come with you on this one as....well - I'm pregnant - Fenris is the father, so that's why I can't. Believe me I'd love to make sure she gets home or away to safety, but I have amazing friends who can help. Let me contact them and we'll get something sorted." 

Gamlen instantly seems contrite, surprise showing in his eyes, but at the same time he is still a little angry. "Damn it Natalia, I need you and you go get pregnant by the first man that turns your head, what would your mother think?"

Knowing that he's just being stubborn and selfish and stepping in as the man of the family, that he feels a little shame on her mother's behalf that she's unmarried and that he would feel its his fault, she lets the comment wash over her. 

"That is not fair, Fenris and I - we're together now and that situation is never changing - so don't you dare judge me. Mother was happy for me, finding someone. I know you're scared for Charade, so I'll let that one go." 

Her mouth forms a grim line. "Do you want help or not?" the blue gaze flicking between them both. Zevran had been very quiet so she looks to him directly, he has a massive grin on his face. 

"Congratulations are in order at this most happy news. I thought there was a certain glow about you now that I think about it. I didn't know - what was the name ah, Broody - had it in him." The grin never leaving his face. 

Now she feels her face flame with embarrassment, to cover it she walks towards the door, intending to go see Bela and Varric to see what they can come up with. "Thank you - I guess we'll have to get the band together to check our next step. Do you know how many are after her?" 

"I will walk with you to ensure you have further details of the situation, and at the same time I can get some of the finer aspects of your and Fenris's amorous adventures. To me there is nothing like a heroic tale of romance, love and forbidden desires. Oh and I would dearly like to reacquaint myself with the fabulous and - may I say deliciously flexible - pirate." Making her face flame even redder she coughs a small affirmative and waves at Gamlen who insists on following them. 

As soon as they set foot outside the door closing behind them, both her and Zevran note something is off - not quite right. It's too quiet, the near constant background noise of dogs barking is missing and she glances at the elf who like herself is on instant alert, moving to pull his twin daggers from their sheaths at his back, Hawke does the same with her staff. 

However neither of them are quick enough and in the quiet they all hear the faint twang of a bow string, mere seconds later they recognise the dull thud of an arrow hitting its mark. 

No-one's really sure at first who's been hit if at all, everything happening so fast, but in a flash Gamlen looks towards his niece in horror, trying to grab at her.

In what seems like slow motion she recoils back and slumps against the door, a soft gasp the only noise emanating from her as she looks numbly to the red and black feathers attached to the end of rather long arrow, now protruding from her left shoulder. "Well - that's not good." Calling on her ill-timed humour in stunned shock. 

At first there's no pain, nothing at all, but then searing agony blossoms in her shoulder, down her arm, up her neck and across half of her body, spreading like a fiery hot brand and with a concentrated effort reaches for her staff again, the pull on her shoulder heavy and sharp, she sucks in shallow breaths, finally managing to get her staff off her back. 

Reaching for her store of mana but instead finding a blackness that's never been there before, an echo slamming back at her mind and body like an empty well, the feeling of it making her cry "No!" in shock. Gamlen grasps her good arm asking "What? What's the matter?" His own eyes wild with fear. 

Looking at both men with tears in her eyes, her body becoming numb, her vision starts to fade in and out, shadows appearing where they shouldn't she whispers in panic "My magic, I can't....feel my magic." Closing her eyes she finds she cannot stand for much longer and starts to drop as her knees buckle. 

"Hawke! Get back inside!" Zevran shouts, both trying to hold her up on her uninjured side and pushing fruitlessly at the door, but its stuck solid, so for the moment they are out of cover and very vulnerable. 

Before they know it four dark figures are closing in on them slowly, one reaching for another arrow. Natalia slurs "We have to get inside - now, I have.....nothing". 

Suddenly a thunderous roar vibrates through the enclosed space "HAWKE! NO!" 

With relief Natalia smiles thinly as she recognises Fenris, there are at least two more familiar footfalls following closely behind him, but she cannot stay awake and the threatening darkness swallows her.


	16. Two Beats Are Better Than One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N A bit of angst in this chapter but also has a bit of fluff, let me know what you think! As always, mistakes are my own. There's not a lot of info on magebane, but in this fic I have written that it would stop the use of magic by the mage casting and for others who would use it on the affected mage personally. Maybe that's wrong but I thought it adds to the story a little.

A couple of hours before.....

Fenris strode through the Hightown streets, ignoring the gasps of several noble women followed by muffled giggling, why bother to spare them glances when they held absolutely no interest for him. 

He was on his way to his home quickly in the hope of surprising Natalia. 

Ever since she had told him she was expecting his child and obviously after he had gotten over the initial shock, he'd been thinking one thought - one that had imbedded itself in his mind, would not be forgotten, so after much deliberation he had come to a decision. One he hoped would be the start of the rest of his - and his families - life. 

Reaching the dilapidated mansion he had called home for the past few years, he stops for a moment before he walks into the main entrance hall, knowing that this could possibly be the last time he graces the halls with his presence, the ancient door opening with a loud screech of protest. Natalia had offered to oil it, but he kept it that way as an early warning sign of an intruder, he had never known if residual slavers would have the audacity to show up. 

Yes this was his so called home, but he'd never dwelled on what that had truly meant. 

Clinging onto the estate had at one point, meant a lot to him. One of the ways to show the world that no-one, absolutely no one could control where he lay his head. Even when Hawke asked him to live with her after their overdue reconciliation, he had declined, not understanding the hurt she initially revealed. 

If he had been honest with himself, it had been mostly an automatic response because he was so used to being on his own and had never really thought about spending the majority of his waking (and sleeping) moments with another soul. 

For him, spending time between Natalia's house and his own had been what he had wanted, or what he had been used to, and having any sort of routine was vastly different than running from one place and the next constantly watching his back, but things and circumstances change. 

He now very much wanted to be near his family, to protect them and share in even the tiniest moments of this new life they had created together. 

Walking quickly up the stairs, stepping over the bones scattered about the stairway, minding familiar loose tiles, he enters his bedchamber and heads towards the only table in the room, gathering a large pile of books, parchment, ink and quills packing them into a smaller knapsack. 

He'd already smuggled some bags of clothes into her front hall, with any luck she'd still be writing her letter and hadn't stumbled upon them already. 

Hefting the now rather awkward bag onto his back, the sharp edges of the books digging into his shoulder, he does not spare one glance back at the mansion after the front door closes, he instead takes a deep cleansing breath and makes his way back to Hawkes home. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"What do you mean, 'Talia has already left for her uncles house?" His questioning gaze turning into a rather annoyed frown, looking directly to Orana, who by now is pretty much used to Fenris's blunt manner, only blinks at him with a little fright and stutters her reply "Yes...she - she went to deliver her letter to her brother, and t-then told me that she would drop by to Master Gamlen's home, and that you were to....to meet her there." 

His lips thin with barely concealed irritation and with a small barely there nod and thank you to Orana, he places the bag he's still carrying with the others and shifting the sword on his back mutters "We shall not be too long, thank you." and strides with determination through the hall to meet Hawke. 

At the bottom of the steps of Lowtown he bumps into Aveline and Donnic, and having remembered his drunken outburst flushes a little and gives a small nervous cough, shifting from foot to foot. "Hello Aveline. Donnic." nodding in greeting. 

Aveline either chooses to ignore the heated flush of embarrassment in his face or doesn't notice it but greets him with unguarded happy smile, only further embarrassing him with a quiet "Ah, hello Fenris, how's things today - especially your head?" Her eyes glinting with humour, with an unusually wicked smirk following the greeting - for her usual stoic self anyway - at the deepening crimson of his already heated face. 

Donnic was standing quietly, watching and finding their interaction a little amusing but suddenly feels a little sympathy for his friend, decides to stop his wife's torture by nudging her shoulder with his in warning "Good day Fenris, don't mind her, she's just trying to stir things. I hear congratulations are in order yes?" Holding out his hand. 

They are both somewhat amazed at the total transformation in their friends demeanour as he forgets the uncomfortable embarrassment and grins widely, taking Donnics hand in a warm handshake, the happiness shining in his green eyes, to which they both cannot help but grin back. 

"Yes, Hawke is well...and I am - despite being a little, okay more than a little, surprised by the news - now very much looking forward to being a father. You need not worry about us, we are more than okay." He looks at Aveline. "In fact 'Talia would like to discuss purchasing some things we need for the baby's arrival with you at some point, we...thought you and Donnic may have more experience with this sort of thing....just let us know when you have a free moment in your schedule." 

"No problem at all, I'm surprised Hawke isn't with you now, I was positive you'd be stuck like glue to each other - especially now. There's a nasty habit of trouble following her whether she likes it or not." 

At this Fenris sighs and gestures towards the slums "Yes, this is true, unfortunately. We had meant to visit Gamlen together - that is why I am here - but I....had something to do...and she has gone ahead without me. I am not sure about what it was he wanted exactly, something to do with a letter, but Gamlen has probably got himself in trouble yet again." 

Donnic frowns at the mention of Hawkes uncle, he and the Guard had needed to step in and sort out his disputes on too many occasions, which usually involved the Blooming Rose, or a tavern brawl spilling outside into the streets. 

It hadn't happened in a good long while, and he had thought perhaps Hawke becoming a stable influence in her uncles life had maybe turned things around for the man. However at the mention of his name he felt concern coil in his gut. "Well then, how would you like company? While we're at it, if my wife and Hawke are out shopping when they can agree a day, we could get the guys together for a good card game?" Trying to ease the tension he could feel in his stomach with a few light comments. He smiled but Aveline noticed it didn't reach his eyes. 

Knowing him so well, they trained together, fought together and shared everything in their married life so could read each other like a book, it didn't take much to detect the worry showing in his chocolate brown eyes and in the tightening of his jaw. 

Fenris of course hadn't noticed but she added with fake light-heartedness "Yes, although I still don't know why you don't let me play, I'm not entirely that bad - am I?" Throwing him a mock irritated glance and slight nod to let him show she knew of his concern. "However, lets go and see what he wants, we need to continue our patrol that way any how." Not mentioning they had already finished the patrol earlier and had been on their way back to get some food. 

Without waiting for a reply she grips the hilt on her sword and walks towards the nearby slums, Fenris eventually taking the lead. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

When they arrive at the entrance to the cramped, dusty enclosed space, their first view is of four hooded figures dressed in black from head to toe, approaching Gamlens house moving at a steady pace, all appearing to be fully armed. 

With his keen elf eyes Fenris hones, not on the dark figures, but on the three people huddled in the doorway to Hawkes old home, he recognises Gamlen and an elf who is grasping twin daggers is somehow familiar, but it is to Natalia that his gaze falls. 

Something is not right in the way she is holding herself, it's when she slumps and starts to drop his heart starts thumping wildly and as she turns slightly towards them with a strained smile. His eyes widen in horror as he can now see a large arrow protruding from her shoulder. 

Fear floods his body, rushing over him in a heavy sickening wave. Pulling his sword from his back he breaks into a run, his markings sparking instantly to life and all he can do is roar in anger, the blood coursing through his veins. He will make every last one of them pay. 

Aveline and Donnic both glance at each other and readying their weapons, break into a run flanking the now electric blue elf. 

The fight does not last long but it is not easily won. 

The small party of four put up a good struggle, they are clearly used to brawling. There are two rogues, one of which instantly throws a grenade into the fray, the other two appear to be warriors. However Fenris, Aveline and Donnic are seasoned fighters and take it in their stride, having fought together so often, their symmetry in battle makes them a lethal combination. 

Fenris heads towards the rogue who has the bow, this one the likely culprit for causing his Natalia pain. 

As he nears the figure, he can see its a human female, her face covered in a black headscarf, only her eyes showing along with a red angry scar over her left eye dragging the skin down so it doesn't fully open. Her dead grey eyes narrow as he approaches. She drops her bow immediately and pulls out a curved sword from behind her cloak, stance changing so she is crouching lower and beckons him towards her with her gloved hand. 

Letting out a snarl he flares his markings further and ghosts over to her fast, her reaction is to back away in alarm, obviously the details given about Hawkes companions not that explicit. 

Her few seconds of fright enables him to get within striking distance, her sword arm has dropped in the midst of her fear and he takes the opportunity to swing his blade at her and catches her arm, the metal running thorough it like butter it also slices into her midsection, the scream of pain meaning nothing to him as he pulls her closer, surprise shadowing her eyes. 

He reaches out his gauntleted hand and with no remorse, buries it in her chest. There is no sound other than an audible gasp and the wet gurgling suction of him removing his hand from her chest, now clasping her still beating heart, the blood pumping its last. She still has seconds to live and the realisation dawns in her eyes that she will not live to see another day. 

When the life vanishes from her he drops both her body and heart in disgust, wipes his hand on her cloak and glances to his allies. 

Donnic is caught up in bashing the lithe elf he has been fighting with his shield, when finally the elf staggers and he takes the opportunity to strike again with his pommel, the elf finally drops to one knee and his sword finds his target. He wrenches his sword out of the body and looks to his wife and sees she has started to tire - she just happened to pick the largest of the group. 

Suddenly a blond elf appears in a cloud of black smoke and the large human falters following with a high pitched scream - he is incapacitated enough for Aveline can take the final blow, and he goes down heavily, and to everyone's relief, stays down. 

She mutters thanks to Zevran and they have one last foe to deal with, who realising they will lose has started to run. 

Zev pulls a small shining blade from his belt, but Donnic shouts "We need him alive!" before he can throw it, and with a small adjustment aims low. Mere seconds later the hooded figure drops with a muffled cry. 

Donnic speaks again but directly to Fenris "We've got the last one, go see to Hawke!" A quick nod and he rushes over to Gamlens home, his fear increasing tenfold as she is now lying prone on the ground. Gamlen has taken off his coat and has used it as a pillow, trying to keep her comfortable. 

"Please move!" He grunts, and he drops to his knees, his sword clanging to the ground forgotten. He gently cradles her head in his hands and moves so she rests in his lap. He lifts her fringe away from her eyes with a gentleness that surprises Gamlen, who has never seen his niece so quiet, and the worry is evident in his face. 

Although he tries to move his hands over the rest of her body with caution, feeling for other wounds, the arrow moves a tiny fraction which causes Natalia to waken with a wince of pain. 

Fenris stills as she opens her eyes, and he bends to tenderly kiss her forehead. She smiles softly and murmurs "Sorry....didn't mean to get into a scuffle.....oh Maker, is the baby okay?" Her eyes are now fully open, the naked fear turning her blue eyes stormy. She cannot find her voice again and whispers "They used magebane and something else...it hurts so much - like fire." 

He has to stop her from struggling to sit up and with a "Hush 'Talia, please try not to move, you have to stay still. We need to get the abo - mage who will bring potions. There is nothing we can do until he arrives." His voice seems to calm her and she settles back down, tears filling her eyes as she tries to breath softly to not disturb her shoulder any more. 

A shadow falls over them and Aveline confirms the remaining warrior was a Crow, who is being watched over by Zevran, and that Donnic had gone to get Anders. 

Fenris angrily looks to Gamlen "What did you do?" the anger sparking in his eyes, both at his own feeling of helplessness and anger that Natalia has been caught up in this, to his surprise the man apologises "I am so sorry, I didn't know they would come here. Charade has got herself in trouble, but she-" gesturing to Hawke - "Said she couldn't help this time, that you and her other friends would help." 

Conversation dries up after that, all they hear are his steady hushed whispers, keeping her calm as she slips in and out of consciousness. They can do nothing but wait, anxiety building with every minute and it seems an age before they hear the rush of footfalls heading towards them. 

Anders is the first to arrive, worry quickening his steps, as soon as he heard what had happened, it was all he could do to remember to grab his healers bag. He is breathless but doesn't hesitate to kneel before Natalia and Fenris. Composing himself he tries not to let his worry show by asking in a false light-hearted manner "What happened here then?" 

Natalia opens her eyes upon hearing his voice and mumbles "Oh you know, standing in front of people with bows who know how to use them....Anders p-please check on the baby. I....they used magebane, my magics gone...." she trails off as fresh pain runs through her. 

"Andraste's ass, if they've used 'bane I can't heal you the normal way, it blocks your magic, but also stops any directed at you physically - until the majority of it is out of your system anyway." His eyes spark a bright luminous blue, but he manages to calm down and as they return to normal he looks across to Fenris. 

"Are there any other injuries?" After receiving a terse headshake in response, he opens his bag and takes a small vial from it, hinting that she needs to sit up a little. "Now, this will dull the pain so we can get you somewhere less open. We....we are going to have to pull the arrow out which will hurt, but this will make it less so." 

Aveline and Fenris carefully help her sit up, minding her shoulder and as she gulps down the rancid tasting liquid, she coughs in disgust and cries out as the movement is too much. 

"Right, lets get you up, someone, please open the door." 

Gamlen pipes up at this point "It wouldn't open before, it does get jammed sometimes as the lock is a bit temperamental, if you just give it a jiggle -" CRASH! 

They turn to the deafening sound of splintering wood and Aveline turns round with a shrug "We'll buy you a new one." and with that pulls the rest of the door from the frame to make space for them to be able to carry Hawke into the house. 

Despite Anders insistence that at least two of them carry her into the house, Fenris will let no one else touch her, lifting her gently with minimal agitation, and moves into the house, his gaze never leaving hers. 

Her old writing table is moved into the centre of the room and she is laid down, Anders taking control of her care. He bends down to speak to her directly, trying to make sure she is aware of everything that was happening. "We have to remove the arrow to stop the rest of the poison, but we - we can't just pull it out, it might mean that there are fragments left to fester in the wound, so we need to break the ends off and pull it through." 

He looks into Natalia's eyes with regret. "There's nothing I can do to stop all of the pain, not without waiting and we can't hang about with this, but we'll try to make it quick." 

"Are you sure you can be here to do this?" Anders whispers to Fenris. His mouth tightens but he barks out "Yes, I need to be here for her." Reaching into his bag again, he passes him a new piece of leather which she needs to bite down on, as she takes it into her mouth he sees the bright sheen of tears in her eyes and has to blink his own away. 

Aveline stands on her uninjured side and holds her arm, squeezing it in comfort, whilst Donnic moves to her legs. Using a small knife, Anders cuts away the material from around her shoulder so that no fabric gets pulled into the wound by mistake. 

They all prepare themselves as Fenris moves to snap first one end of the arrow, at this she cannot help but scream at the hot sharp pain, her body automatically arching in response but with the others holding her she doesn't shift far. 

He then moves to the other end snapping quickly and again she screams, her voice muffled by the leather but still loud in the otherwise silent room, tears freely flowing now. The rest of the arrow is pulled out safely, but by this time the pain is too much and she allows the darkness to take hold. 

Fenris moves away from her, anguish filling his face, he cannot take her pain, it is as if he feels it himself, he is pale and breathing erratically. 

Anders moves fast, ready with a poultice which he places onto the fresh wound, and wrapping bandages tightly to stop the blood flow, he checks her pulse and smiles as it is there, a little quick but strong. 

Taking a weird looking elongated trumpet out of his bag he coughs and asks that he has a little privacy, all but him and Fenris move outside. He undoes her belt and moves her robes to the side, exposing her stomach. With the trumpet he places the larger bell on her stomach and places his ear on the other end to listen. 

There is total silence until Anders calls Fenris over to him. "Here, listen." He obeys and at first his face is blank, but then his eyes widen and a look of sheer wonder crosses his face and pure relief follows quickly. 

"She's okay, the baby has a good heartbeat too. The poultice will fight infection and stop the blood flow, but without being able to use magic it'll take longer to heal and as soon as I am able I will need to check there hasn't been any further damage to her arm, but that was the worst part over." He doesn't get a response, so repeats himself, but this time a little louder. 

Fenris at last blinks, stands straighter, gently fixes her robes, murmurs a quiet thank you to the healer handing the equipment back, and grabbing Hawkes hand he lifts it to his mouth and presses kisses to her knuckles as if his life depended on it. 

It is such a private moment, Anders cannot intrude, so heads outside. 

The Crow assassin is to be taken, well dragged really, by Donnic and Aveline for interrogation, but before they leave, Fenris glares with open hostility at Zevran who has been requested that he co-operate in this investigation - without fail. "You had better not go anywhere until we get to the bottom of this." 

The blond elf who would not have wished harm on anyone here, especially the Champion, nods with silent acceptance. 

Aveline comes back into the room to stand by Hawke and using a damp cloth wipes the dirt and sweat from her face gently. Looking to Fenris, understanding in her eyes, with a soft "Lets get them both home, its probably ten times cleaner and when she wakes she'll want to be in a familiar place." 

He smiles at her then and with thanks lifts her gently, presses her close to him, and everyone moves slowly out of Lowtown.


	17. Back To Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I needed to give a bit more explanation of how Hawke's recovery takes a little bit longer, so just a dash more angst but silly fluffiness too. As usual mistakes are my own, hope you enjoy :)

As he lays her oh so carefully down on the bed, she stirs again with a small whimper.

Relinquishing his hold on her making sure she is comfortable, he gently moves her fringe away from her face, frowning when he feels that her skin is clammy but hot to the touch. She is far too pale and notices she's drenched in sweat, her breathing is a little laboured too. 

The remainder of the party had agreed to meet up again at the Hawke estate after interrogating the Crow assassin, if only to see how the patient is doing, so only Fenris and Anders returned with Natalia and were currently making sure she was okay. 

Taking a step back, unsure of how to handle this new development, the situation having seemed to have gotten that little bit worse, he cannot prevent the thread of fear from colouring his voice as he barks out. "Mage - quickly, something is not right, she feels feverish, but surely that is not normal?" Looking up with anxiety shining in his eyes, he moves to let the healer past. 

Anders lays the back his own hand over Natalia's forehead and he cannot help but grimace, gripping her wrist with his free hand measures her pulse, noticing that it is still too quick and on checking the bandage at her shoulder, to his dismay finds it has already soaked through with blood. 

"Did 'Tali mention feeling anything else apart from the loss of magic?" His own voice thin with concern. 

"Yes, she - she said that it felt like her body was on fire, but I thought that it was perhaps the pain she was feeling. Why - is there something we missed - another poison?" 

The growl of anger was directed mostly at himself for failing to see any further injury, the worry he had felt for Natalia and their baby overwhelming any other concerns. 

"I've seen this before, but not for a long time - it's derived from snake venom, but concentrated, mainly from Antiva, the Crows happen to use a lot of it. From what I can remember its main effect is to hinder healing. The poultice I used should have prevented any infection and clotted the blood, but the toxin seems to have stopped this process, and its acting like she's contracted a fever or infection already." 

Sighing he runs a hand over his face, tiredness not just from lack of sleep, but also sheer worry. Pausing to think he mutters more to himself "However, it's not potent as it could have been...." 

Fenris still hovering close by goes to grab his arm but the healer spies the movement from the corner of his vision and moves back before he makes contact, holding up his hands. "Look, I'm positive I have antidote over at the clinic, but if not I'll have to make some and that could take time - which we don't have. Our best option would be to send someone over to my clinic as I have to keep an eye on her - and stop the bleeding." He looks at Fenris and can see the indecision flickering in his troubled green eyes. 

"At the moment she is as comfortable as we are going to make her...." 

After a pause, the elf sighs with resignation accepts the small key held out to him and with a strained "I will not be long. Make sure she is safe or I will not be held responsible....." he strides out of the door, the gravity of the situation quickening his steps. 

Left alone with his patient, and after making sure she's comfortable he discovers that he needs to fill the anxious space with anything - something, so heads towards the kitchen and finds Orana stirring something over the stove. 

Softly explaining what's happened to Natalia, he requests some clean rags and a bowl of clean, cool water from the shy elf, who with a soft gasp, quickly throws the spoon in the pot and jumps to get the items. 

"Um...Master Anders - can I assist at all? I mean - when Papa and I were s-slaves, we had to mend broken bones and sew many cuts by ourselves, and - Mistress Natalia has been so very kind to me, I would like to help her - if - if that's okay with you." She is so worried that her request will be refused, but he smiles at her motioning for her to lead the way. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Fenris doesn't take too long, the tightly coiled fear settling in his stomach gives his feet that little extra burst of speed, plus he knows all the short-cuts having spent the majority of his free time making sure escape routes are well planned. 

He runs all the way to the Darktown clinic, picks up the required antidote of which Ander's has helpfully labelled in clear, precise script, and heads back to the Hawke estate. 

Handing the healer the few bottles, breathing heavily, he stands at Natalia's uninjured side and grasps her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles, more to comfort himself really, but there's only the barest of responses and at this his heart rate spikes. Feeling inadequate he looks on as Anders tends to Natalia. 

"Fenris, the toxin has meant that the wound isn't healing as it should, I'll give her the counteragent, but I need to stitch both sides of the wound together to stop the blood flow. Of course I need to give her a sleeping draught first as it will be painful, but it won't affect the baby." 

They sit her up and gently rouse her enough that she drinks one bottle of the antidote and another of the sleeping draught without difficulty, and soon she looks more comfortable, sleepy but aware. Fenris cradles her against him whilst she rests her head against his shoulder and mumbles incoherently to herself and a little while later she is softly asleep. 

Anders gets a few things from his medical bag along with a pair of scissors and starts to cut the entire sleeve and shoulder of her robes away. Pouring more of the potion on a clean rag he first cleans the wound and Orana passes a small bottle of alcohol to him which is used to clean the needle. 

The procedure doesn't take too long, the stitches are small and neat and as he cuts the last bit of thread he wipes the excess blood away with a little of the mixture and wraps more bandages around her shoulder. "There, that should do it." checking her pulse he finds it steady, stronger than before, and breathes a sigh of relief. 

Orana has a clean nightdress ready for Natalia and slips it over her head aided by Fenris so that she has clean clothes at least and after they gently remove the rest of her ruined robes off of her, pull the blanket over her to keep her warm. 

"She should sleep right through to the morning, if not later, if you like I can come round again to check up on her at lunch time?" Drying his hands with a clean towel, he's packed up his supplies and Orana's disposed of the bloodied rags already. 

"She will be okay overnight?" Although he is relieved that the ordeal is over for the moment, apprehension still evident in his gaze, he wonders if it would be a precaution to have the healer stay the night and quickly adds "Are you sure you do not want to stay in case you are needed?" 

Sensing he will not win this one, Anders sighs and relents, and anyway he would prefer it if he stayed close by if Natalia needed him, after receiving a relived smile, is offered one of the small backrooms for the night. 

"Master Anders, if you would like something to eat, and then you can tell me what Mistress Hawke needs on a day to day basis to help in her recovery...." 

Thanking Orana and Anders as they both leave the bedchamber, Fenris closes the door and releases a sigh. Moving towards the bed he removes his armour and undershirt, placing them neatly on the chest he has claimed and changes into a lighter, looser pair of breeches. 

Feeling the need to be close to the both of them after all that's happened over the last few hours, he desperately needs the reassurance and comfort of her warm body. 

He lifts the blanket and trying not to disturb Natalia, he gingerly shuffles over and moves so that her good side is resting against him, and taking great care he pulls the blanket over them both. 

Gently moving his free hand down her arm, it comes to rest on her still flat stomach and at last feels the tension ebb from his body, and resting his head against her neck, closes his eyes and lets the moment calm him. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"So that's what happened...." Trailing off, stifling a yawn she covers her mouth with her hand. Hawke leans back and gently stretches her legs, her free hand resting on the now evident soft swell of her stomach, rubbing absent-mindedly. "Of course, one of the side effects of the Crow poison was that it made my morning sickness ten times worse. I actually was horribly sick all the time for nearly two months after getting hurt. I couldn't keep anything down really, water included, so it was terrible for a while there. Anders resorted to mashing my food so it was nearly liquid - not very appetising by the way." She finishes with a grimace of distaste. 

"I also had trouble healing, which is why I'm still in this thing...." 

Looking closely at the sling, he notices that there's some crude drawings scribbled out. "Oh, that was Izzie - she snuck up on me yesterday when I was snoozing." 

Suddenly there's a muted barking as the kitchen door's opened and a brown lump comes barrelling into the room and with a very un-mabari like high pitched squeal, Blaze - not being able to contain his excitement, leaps up onto Carver who unbalances and ends up in a loud clanging heap, sprawled on the floor being showered in dog slobber. 

Amidst the loud wines and snuffles, Natalia can't help but laugh loudly and after a few minutes of watching helplessly with tears streaming down her face, gets up slowly and tries to offer aid. 

"Blaze - get off!" Struggling with the added weight on his chest, not being able to see above the chocolate brown canine, Natalia takes pity on him and orders the mabari to sit, which he does, moving off her bother and sitting by his side, begrudgingly of course, the little stub of his tail still batting about furiously. 

"Sorry about him, he's missed you something serious!" Wiping away the tears she notices Fenris standing at the top of the stairs looking on in bewilderment. 

Smiling shyly up at him "Hi, Carver decided to come visit to make sure I was alright - he got my letter, but its taken a bit of time to get here. Blaze was just re-introducing himself. I think he may need help getting up." She meets him half way down the stairs and taking his hand, leads him over to where her brother's still lying on the floor. 

He lets go of Hawke's hand and holds out his own which Carver accepts and hefts himself up on his feet again. 

"We were catching up with what's been happening over the last few months, the Crow attack and all that." Taking pity on the elf, he offers a small smile. "I'm sure you were worried for her - but I hope she's not been too grumpy not being able to do much?" 

Fenris stifles a small laugh, disguising it as a cough. "Well, yes, being consigned to complete bed rest will do that to even the most sane person after a while." Looking to Natalia he frowns. "Have you told him everything?" 

Shaking her head, she takes a breath and huffs out "No, not everything, I had to explain this - nodding towards her shoulder - "so he didn't worry too much. I've told him the baby's okay, but we were interrupted by a mabari sized whirlwind." 

He nods and looks to the slightly soggy warden, smiling. "You probably need a towel to dry off, and later perhaps a wash? We had better get something more substantial to eat and tell you the rest, Orana's prepared some food for us - " He breaks off as there's a light knock at the door. 

"Oh, that should be Frye - I travelled with another Warden, Alexia, and 'Talia's agreed she can stay here - it's okay with her of course." 

Carver opens the door wide and smiles at Frye, who now looks a little too tired so he motions her inside, taking her pack closes the door after her. 

Natalia walks over to the newcomer and holds out her hand "Nice to meet you, don't think I've ever met a lady warden before! I'm sure you're in need of a good hot bath and change of clothes. Come join us for some food first - you must be famished?" 

Alexia takes her hand and shakes enthusiastically "There are a few of us out there, they like to keep us in hiding and only bring us out when there's work to be done! Yes, I would love that, you have no idea how starving - and grubby - I feel right now!"

Laughing lightly, Natalia introduces Fenris and they all make their way into the dining room. 

As always, the food is magnificent, and after everyone has had their fill, Hawke sits back and sees Fenris frowning at what little she's eaten, and sighs. "I already had some biscuits so wasn't as hungry as I should be, try not to worry - please?" 

At his small nod she takes a mouthful of water and looks to the other two, swallows and starts filling them in on the rest of the story. "Where were we? Oh, yes - I'll try not to drag this out as you both probably need a good wash and sleep?" Setting her near empty mug back on the table, continues. 

"It took a while for me to recover but after getting all the grisly details from the others. We later found out that it wasn't exactly the Crows that had sent a small team to Gamlen's. Turns out - after Aveline and Donnic got it out of the remaining assassin - Charade had unknowingly gotten in the way of four individuals who had broken away from the Guild themselves. They'd started to take on a few smaller contracts - ones that no one would notice, but then they got a little too greedy." 

She shifts in the seat and again stifles a yawn. "Sorry - I get a little tired these days." She smiles sleepily at Fenris "So much for promising Seb that I'd help out - all I've done so far is make a half dozen potions and donate a few unwanted clothes." 

At Carver's raised brow Fenris steps in "Seb - Sebastian is a chantry brother we have helped out, although is now part of our team and has been helping out more now that 'Talia hasn't been able to come with us and fight." 

At this Alexia smirks, her light green eyes glinting "A chantry brother - fighting?" Lifting a mug of wine, drinks deeply. 

"Yep - that's another long story....but back to the Crow's - or the non-assassins. Whoever they had been after, it wasn't part of an official contract, and after we - well everyone else - had killed three of the four rogues, Aveline with Zevrans help, had sent word to Antiva." 

"After a week or so we got a reply - as we had taken care of the situation, if we handed the remaining renegade over to them so they could punish them in-house, they confirmed Charade and anyone in connection with her were not under any contract - so a lucky escape for all involved." 

Fenris cannot help but balk at this statement and sets his mug down none too gently. "Though not so lucky for you two." Upset shining in his eyes, he blinks away the sudden rush of emotion and standing, he tidies the dishes into some sort of order and moves to stand behind Natalia's chair. 

"I thought you could - if you are feeling up to it - take a trip to Sebastian and tell one of your tales to the children?" 

Not being able to help the wide smile in response, tiredness forgotten, she beams at him "Yes! I really could do with getting out of the house for some fresh air." Turning to her brother. "I've only really been in the garden reading, so this would be the first major trip outside amongst the masses. Just let me get my boots - I think I left them in our room!" She gets up out of the chair and makes her way upstairs. 

They all smile at her enthusiasm, but after a moment Carver's smile slips and he looks to Fenris "Wait a minute, what did she mean - "our" room?" 


	18. Rules - What Rules?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Some alone time with Carver and Alexia (OC) nothing too graphic I hope, but a lot of heat! Then some fluff thanks to over-protective Fenris. Thank you so much for the kudos, I really do appreciate it - you have no idea how it makes me happy! Just a little shout out to my very loyal reader Kinuwan - I hope you enjoy this one :)

Oh dear. As Frye had spent so much time with her fellow warden, she instantly knew that the question was fuelled with anger.

To prevent him doing something he'd end up regretting, she steps in front of him as soon as she sees him move towards the elf. Taking hold of his arm and moving close to him warning him by whispering "Hey, your sister is a grown woman, and has looked after herself for a long while now. Can't you see they are happy together, and you stepping in as the big bad brother isn't going to help things, in fact you'll just hurt Natalia. So how about just letting it lie, and go get a bath!" 

The comment seems to have the desired effect as he blinks slowly, opening his eyes again he sighs heavily and turns his head toward her so they are suddenly very close - so close he notices her eyes have gold flecks in them, and despite being road weary she still manages to smell slightly of honey. 

After a heartbeat, he smiles and starts to move away, but before he does, replies "Yeah, you're right - I'm sorry for being an arse." He pats her arm and she releases him so they are no longer standing close. 

Fenris, of course with his very sensitive hearing, hears every word. 

Relaxing his balled fists he eases back on his heels and watches the two with baited breath. As Alexia had told Carver exactly what he would have insisted on himself, there really wasn't anything further to say, but he couldn't let it end there without some sort of explanation. 

"Carver, I am aware that you are concerned about "Talia and I, however as your friend has suggested, we are happy - truly. Upon finding out she was pregnant I found myself needing to be close by to her, and the only way that could be was if we lived together, but only after she was injured that it actually happened. I would do nothing to hurt her and everything in my power to ensure my family is safe, so you should have no concerns there." 

He knows that he is only being protective but he suddenly feels the need to assert himself so that there is no doubt that he now belongs here, not adding that he would challenge any who questioned his _right_ to be with Natalia. 

Secretly envious of the fierce love she can see blazing in the elf's eyes, she turns again to Carver "See - nothing to worry about!" Playfully punching him on the upper arm, she looks again at Fenris. "It's been lovely meeting you and Natalia - you do look very happy together, and she is positively blooming. Thank you so much for letting me stay here. I apologise - I can honestly say I have no idea where Car here gets his grumpiness from!" 

"Definitely Father, that's for sure!" They all look to Natalia who has found her boots and is sitting on the bottom step pulling them on, or trying to as with one arm its not as easy as it appears. Fenris moves to assist, kneeling down in front of her, smiling knowingly at the sharp intake of breath in reaction to the soft not so accidental touches as his fingers brush her calves. 

"You try spending over a month on a bloody great horse and see how _happy_ you are!" 

Although his remark is sarcastic, there is little anger or heat left in the retort. 

After the rebuff by Alexia, he realised that his sister is happier than he has ever seen her, and has first hand evidence that the small shared touches and the care Fenris had shown his sister unmistakeable in the short meal they'd all shared, so there isn't really any need to beat the elf to a pulp. 

However he will need to find an opportunity to find out his exact intentions, especially when there is a child involved. Remembering her declaration of marriage or nothing - especially after Lothering and that shit of a boy - who he'd very happily taught a lesson in manners - but first he needed a bath and a good nights sleep. 

"Couldn't even if I wanted to!" The only answer given with a chuckle and soft pat to her stomach in response. 

Striding towards her room he walks past Natalia who is being helped up, but she calls after him "I've had another bath installed in mother's old wash room, so you both can have a bath together - oh _flames_! Not together - that way, you can have one at the same time......er....not that either.....damn these pregnancy hormones!" 

Slightly pink in the face she flaps her good arm in his general direction, huffs in a breath and starts again. "Sorry, I think my mouth isn't in tune with my brain sometimes, especially these days. Alexia you can use the one in mothers old room, Car - please show our guest the way, and you can use the one in our room. Please don't forget to tidy up after you, I do hope you've grown up enough to clean up after yourself now?" 

Smirking openly, Fenris is surprised to find he's the only person not flushed with embarrassment - probably a first for him - at that moment doesn't even pretend to hide his amusement at the uncomfortable silence that follows. 

Suddenly everyone moves and starts talking at once, trying to hide their awkwardness, both Natalia and Fenris head to the door gathering their weapons, not that they are likely to need them, but it helps to be prepared - not minding the elbow in the ribs in the least, he laughs out loud and pulls her tight against him in a quick hug, releasing her to open the door and let her pass by first. 

The two wardens head up to have their respective baths - for some reason quite hastily. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

As he sloshes around in the small bath, he's relaxed enough so his aching muscles have loosened, his mind starts to wonder and he can't help but picture Alexia in the room across the hall. 

During their travels whenever they'd been able to, had made good use of any streams or small lakes they had encountered. Although he had tried to behave in a gentlemanly manner towards her, couldn't help the wayward thoughts he'd had of her - after all he was healthy red-blooded male. 

Things had been slightly awkward at first, never had been in such close personal proximity before as they hadn't really spent a lot of time alone in one another's company. It had been a few weeks into the journey when they'd just suddenly clicked. 

The night started off with tales of youthful mistakes, sitting cooking their evening meal by the campfire, but their laughter had died as they'd both began to share in vivid detail the reason's behind the joining. 

Carver had told her of the helplessness he'd felt, but had been immensely grateful that there had been wardens in the Deep Roads or he would have died. He'd shared how he'd also felt regret not being with his family, after waking up in a room filled with strangers looking on him with pity in their eyes. 

However that regret had turned into a steadfast hope that he could become a better person, after seeing those around him act with selflessness. 

Alexia's own story was short and filled with much sorrow. She'd been born and raised in Denerim, her future set out before her, if she'd followed in her mother's footsteps by working for the king in the kitchens, but fate decreed otherwise.

The blight had first taken her father, or rather Logain's deceit had ensured his death - she'd been told he died with honour, trying to protect his troops. Knowing that didn't lessen the utter devastation they'd all felt. Her three older brothers had fallen in quick succession during the battle for Denerim. 

All having enlisted in the guard, they had all made the darkspawn fight for every inch gained but at the loss of their own lives. 

Her mother Lilly, two sisters - Madeline who was three years older than her and Belle, two years younger - along with her small brother Roddy, had survived the horrors of the attack, physically if not emotionally, they had so much to be thankful for. 

It was with awe she'd heard many accounts detailing the noble rogue who became the Hero Of Ferelden, now their much treasured Queen and King Alistair, who had both fought with such strength and honour. From then on she'd wanted to join the wardens to honour her family and many others who had died defending the helpless. 

So they'd become very good friends on their travels, and it was with a little heaviness in his heart that he'd discovered that what he'd felt toward Alexia was more than friendship but didn't want to damage anything. 

\--------- 

Sitting up sharply from his reverie, he hears a loud clang and instantly is on alert, jumping up from the bath, soapy luke warm water splashing everywhere, he steps out of the tub and quickly wraps a huge soft white towel around his hips.

He pads to the door and silently makes his way to the hall. He hears a muffled squeal coming from his mothers old room and shouts "Are you okay in there?" Not thinking, he opens the door wide and finds a wet, naked Alexia sitting on the floor, grabbing at her left foot. 

Standing there for a few seconds, not being able to take his eyes of her, he is mesmerised with the view before him. He'd been aware of her beauty, that she kept in very good condition, but her leather armour had hidden a lot of her true body shape. 

Her breasts alone were _perfect_ , her band obviously hiding their ample size as they moved with each breath she took, the nipples a dark dusky pink, his body reacting instantly. 

She looks up startled, and her mouth falls open at a nearly naked Carver, all damp from his bath and can't help her own flush of awareness. Recovering her equilibrium she tries to cover bare breasts, but its a little late as he's already seen more than enough. She huffs out an indignant "What in the fade are you doing in here?" Still blushing bright red, she glares at him until he stutters out a reply. 

He swallows heavily "I am so sorry - I thought that you were in trouble....or something....I wouldn't have - otherwise....." He trails off and looking away walks towards the wash room and picks up a fluffy robe. Still averting his eyes he walks back to her and shoves it in her direction, feels it being tugged out of his hands and after a small silence hears a soft thank you, followed by another pause "I -ah, think I twisted my ankle, so um...you're going to have to help me up." 

His eyes widen a fraction at this, a little concern mixed with awareness - he's actually going to have to touch her, skin to skin. 

Shifting uncomfortably, hoping that the evidence of his arousal isn't too obvious he bends down, thankful she's now covered enough to prevent further embarrassment, he puts his arms around her and lifts her up with ease. 

Being this close to him she cannot help but be aware of the heat radiating from him, resting her head on his shoulder trying to secretly breathe in his newly washed fragrance, the soap he'd used a musky incredibly male scent sends her pulse racing and can't help but sigh, arms tightening round his neck. 

Looking down their eyes meet, but before she looks away he notices her eyes have darkened - could it be that she's feeling the same attraction or is it from pain? He can't begin to wonder when they'd started to become attracted to one another. Was this new for her or had she felt some sort of connection from the start of their trip, like him? 

He was afraid to let his feelings known in case they weren't reciprocated. Little did he know the woman he was holding in his arms felt exactly the same - both too afraid to take the initiative in case they were left emotionally devastated, not having been close to anyone for quite some time. 

They reached the room allocated to Alexia and he manages to open the door without having to put her down, tries to deposit her gently on the bed but his own towel must have got caught up with her robe because as he moves away it slips, leaving himself barely covered. 

He's not a small man in general, and it is evident when the towel partly falls, that indeed he's rather large _everywhere_ , as his arousal sits jutting out proudly, not being hidden at all now. He tries to cover himself with his hands, a blush creeping up from his neck to his face. 

Sucking in a deep breath its not as if Alexia hasn't noticed this and still sitting, hesitantly looks up, excitement shining in her eyes only to find Carver gazing at her intently, his own bright blue eyes almost black with want. 

"Well, here goes nothing" she thinks to herself as she captures one of his large hands in hers. Nerves combined with hot arousal flutter in her stomach as she places it over her heart. "I know we've been friends for a long while now, but if you don't feel what you do to me, then I don't know what I can do to make you understand. I like you, care for you - _a lot_ \- and I don't mean just as a friend." Feeling shy suddenly she finds she can't meet his gaze. 

After a pause she feels his hot hand move to her face and his fingers caress her cheek, his already deep voice is roughened with desire. "Are you sure? I didn't know - I care about you too, but didn't think to hope you'd feel anything for me. This - this wasn't something I'd looked for, but I - we - found it none the less." 

At this her eyes fly open and he leans over her to kiss her fully on the mouth for the first time, sparks fly as she opens her mouth hungrily, accepting him fully without hesitation, moaning at the heat between them. 

Quickly he lets go of the towel half hanging from his hips and gently pulls her clothing away from her so they are both naked. Smirking she notes they will have to have another bath after this, but then gets lost in his hot kisses and as he moves over her fully, wraps her arms around him pulling him down. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

After at least the tenth child had placed their hand over Natalia's swollen stomach, he curls his fingers into fists to prevent him stopping the small hands currently pushing and prodding her, he can't help but let a small huff of annoyance escape. 

Her eyes flick to Fenris and she can see he's not entirely comfortable with the children paying her tummy too much attention, she hadn't minded at the start but now even she was beginning to feel tired and the baby was probably getting uncomfortable. 

Thankfully Sebastian is there to save the day, he gently pulls the little girl Tabitha away from Hawke with a "I'm sure the baby doesn't like all the poking Tabbie, let her or him sleep for a bit and go wash your hands for your snack." The girl's mouth turns from a pout to smile as soon as she hears the word snack, and she trots off happily to one of the sisters. 

At the mention of food, the rest of the children cry out in delight and run after Tabitha. Smiling at her look of relief "You should have said that it was overwhelming Hawke, you've been telling them stories for a while now, I'm sure you're tired?" 

Handing her a cup of orange juice which she takes, he looks to Fenris and hands him another. "You had better take her home for a good feed and some rest then in a bit." 

"Hey I'm still awake you know, yes I am tired but I can still hear quite well thank you very much - and I can decide when I go!" There's no anger, she's just grateful that she can go home soon for a nap and a tiny bit pleased that she's being looked after. 

Both men chuckle at her after she ends that statement with a yawn. 

After a pause, Sebastian looks to Natalia and holds out his hand, looking for the go ahead, and at her affirmation he rests his own hand lightly over her belly. The elf notes that his face breaks into a wide smile as almost instantly he feels a gentle flutter in reaction to his touch. Fenris never tires of that feeling. 

"Ah, not sure if you do this sort of thing, but can you give the baby a blessing, it would be lovely - maybe it'll help little bump rest after all the attention today?" Natalia quietly asks. Not hesitating, he starts the benediction in quiet tones. 

"Oh, Seb - Carver's home for a visit, wasn't planned but I can't say its not very welcome. I sent him a letter and he kind of rushed here to check up on me. Yep, hot-headed, but he's fine with everything, so we're kind of throwing an impromptu dinner tonight, at about seven or so. You're invited - of course, that's if you don't have anything planned?" Taking a sip of the juice she realises she's terribly thirsty and empties it quite quickly. 

"Yes, that would be grand indeed." He smiles and nods at them both, taking the now empty cups from her and Fenris and goes to the small kitchen to wash up. 

Stretching her legs out, she yawns again and mutters "I guess we'll have to invite everyone by messenger as I really can't face traipsing around Darktown, Lowtown or Hightown today, who would have thought just sitting here talking would be so damn _exhausting_!" 

"You are right of course. I will go send the messages. It will not take too long, but as you are feeling tired I would ask Sebastian for the use of a cot in the mean time. You need to rest so please do so?" Soon after her injury, Natalia had learnt that despite her own stubbornness, when it came to his there really wasn't any contest, so to keep the peace, often went along with his suggestions, plus she did feel sleepy.

He makes to head towards the entrance, but catching his hand before he's out of her space, he lowers his head so she presses a kiss to his cheek and whispers "I will, thank you so much, I appreciate that. It was nice to get out and about finally, but I do realise I have to take it easy." 

He kisses her forehead, they are in a chantry after all, so a full on kiss would not be appropriate, and also softly pats her stomach before he leaves. 

Sebastian doesn't take too long to return and notices Fenris's retreating form asks "Oh, where's he off to?" She confirms he's gone to send messages to their other friends as its too much for her at the moment, and mentions she would like to make use of a cot for a nap if that would be okay with him, which he agrees to and leads her to an unoccupied sisters room. 

With a small thanks he shuts the door behind him. 

Grateful for the soft mattress, after the door closes she places her staff against the wall, sits on the bed, lies back and is soon drifting, the soft light from the high small window glinting in her blue-black hair. 


	19. I Was Trying To Seduce You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, as always, I am so thankful for the kudos and comments! Thought I'd get back to a bit of Hawke/Fenris love without angst, even I missed it for a bit there. Wasn't sure where I wanted to go with this chapter, so thought we'd join the gang mid-party for some light hearted fun and fluff/smut. Pls note some parts and the end of this chapter is very NSFW (I'm all red thinking about what I've written.....backs away slowly and runs for the door - enjoy!!) So I don't annoy anyone I've upped the rating just in case.

The dinner party wasn't going that badly Hawke thought, slowly sipping the cool glass of sparkling apple juice, one of Sebastian's concoctions - alcohol free of course. In fact, apart from herself, Sebastian was the only other person not drinking.

Everyone was getting on well, despite the small moment of awkwardness when Izzie had groped Carver in an extended hug as soon as he'd walked into the dining room. 

The majority present knew that was her normal way of greeting people, but after that display, it was doubtful no-one missed the less than approving reaction from their additional guest, who seemed to take exception to the albeit one-sided flirting, not that he had shown any interest but instead had backed off quite quickly. 

Hawke quietly takes in the scene around her, Merrill was currently enthralled with Carver's account of their lengthy trek to Kirkwall. It was quite funny, as each time Merrill went to take a bite of chicken, it only got half way to her mouth before she was distracted by the story - the food would be stone cold before she managed to take even one bite. 

It wasn't hard to miss the shy, sickly sweet looks the two wardens kept aiming across the dinner table either. Maker, lets hope her and Fenris hadn't been that obvious when their mutual attraction had first been discovered.

"What had they been up to whilst they'd been out?" Hawke thinks to herself. Not that she minded in the least, her baby brother was an adult after all. Her only hope was that he had found as much happiness as herself, and Alexia seemed to be a lovely girl, good humoured and strong enough to stand up to his moods, thankfully. 

Fenris had told her of the ire her brother had shown towards him when he found out they lived together, which had almost caused a brawl. If it hadn't been for Alexia handling the situation, there would have been fists flying, which would have upset her as all she wanted was her family to get on with one another. 

Varric had been very pleased to get to speak to junior again, and to meet a female warden, trying to eek out little bits of information, wanting to hear of escapades and digging for nuggets of truth amongst the rumours that always surrounded the secretive group. 

Even Aveline had to retract the statement made years ago that he was a tit, he'd really matured into a level headed, decent young man and it was fantastic to see. 

Plates piled with chicken, ham, and plenty of freshly cooked vegetables were being passed around and jugs of the finest spiced wine were shared between them, the noise level had increased for a while, but it was a happy hubbub. Everyone was currently swapping tales of their "Champion" to Natalia's huge embarrassment. 

The redness in her cheeks blossoming the more they went on until Anders felt sorry enough for her and put a stop to the baiting by changing the subject, they'd then started to discuss what they'd got up to over the passage of time, with uncontrolled laugher mingling with more than a few watery eyes. 

Relaxing, feeling replete from the delicious meal that Orana and Bodhan had prepared, having eaten enough to satisfy even Fenris, Natalia sat back in her chair, resting lightly against the elf in question. 

Gently resting her hand on Fenris's warm thigh, he allows her to run her hand down his muscled leg to rest on his knee until he covers her hand with his own, softly squeezing but not letting go. Instead he clasps her hand loosely, rhythmically running his thumb over her knuckles, loving the electric feel her touch elicits. 

His genuine smile softens as he sees the frustrated look she throws at him. 

Since her injury he'd showered her with copious amounts of affection, probably tempered with a little guilt, but she'd told him in hundreds of ways he wasn't to blame until it had finally gotten through, not that his attentiveness had been unwanted in any way. 

Kisses had been as hot and as toe curling as ever, initially he'd been too afraid that he would hurt her if they'd gone any further. Having one arm out of action really put things on temporary hold in the bedroom department - until she was fully fit anyway. 

Having no lover before her beloved elf she wasn't entirely comfortable with being openly flirtatious, or "putting on a show" as Isabela called it. From her casual (mostly embarrassing and one sided) conversations with the more experienced woman, apparently her first time with him had been exceptional - for them both. When they'd reconciled they had certainly made up for lost time as they hadn't been able to keep their hands off each other, and both had enjoyed a rather healthy sex life since then. 

With her pregnancy hormones raging, recently Natalia had been trying to do her best to find ways of seducing him, but it hadn't gone as planned. 

On several occasions, Fenris had very much enjoyed unexpected early morning wake up calls from her, besides, she'd had to resort to devious tactics because their shared frustration was something that needed to be addressed - Mr Broody was in danger of turning into Mr Angry. 

Finding other ways of bringing mutual release had been enlightening for them both, and he'd loved committing to memory the changes to her body, using his mouth and hands to reciprocate in bringing pleasure in exquisite detail, but he knew she missed making love. 

He too couldn't wait for that part of their lives to return to normal, but Natalia's health and that of their child was of utmost importance, their well-being went beyond his own needs. Not entirely sure if anything more strenuous would cause her harm, and there wasn't any way in Thedas he would approach any of his friends for answers. 

What they did in their bedroom was between the two of them, no matter how many times their pirate friend tried to blackmail them or practically begged for juicy gossip, so far all she'd learnt that his smalls came in various colours - and that was all she'd get to know. 

So according to Natalia, it was about time things got back to normal, and cottoning on to her predicament, had been offered several pointers whenever Izzie had dropped by to visit, obviously when Fenris was nowhere near. 

The Rivaini had stopped by frequently, despite her acerbic comment at the discovery of her pregnancy, it had been most surprising that without fail she would turn up at the house several times a week, bringing along with the tonics Anders had prepared, books about mothers to be and pregnancy care. 

One morning when Fenris had been off on a job with Varric and Anders - yes they'd even started to work together, much to Natalia's surprise. They weren't best friends, she didn't want them to fake anything if it wasn't real as it wouldn't be fair, but it seemed the events over the past few weeks had made them put aside their differences at least for her sake. 

So to keep her company, Aveline had visited with Isabela for tea and cake, all three laughed whilst reading aloud the seriously strange superstitions that were described in one of the books, such as eating bread with warm milk would produce a boy child - it seemed people would believe anything. 

Amongst the chatter, the one thing that the visits brought was not just a little feminine company, her friends seemed to understand that there was a lingering sadness, that in this very important time in her life, her mother and sister were not here and she was feeling it. 

Whilst it was an absolute joy to share with Fenris the emotional closeness and physical development of their growing child, after all this was new to the both of them, there were always little things only a woman could understand, and to at least try to reduce the heartache, they had both agreed to be there for her as much as possible. 

The women were more like family than friends anyway, having each others backs whenever it was required, especially on the many tasks undertaken over the years, but spending time away from fights and danger had meant that they were free to discuss the more mundane aspects of their lives, and it was good just to be normal for once. 

Obviously Izzie being Izzie had realised that Fenris was a stubborn arse and that the continuation of the two slightly grumpy lovers meant only one thing - they weren't getting any. In the hope of putting an end to all the frustration, one week the pregnancy books had been forgotten, and all that had been offered was a slightly battered looking tome which had nothing to do with health and well-being and had no title, only that it depicted entwined lovers on the front cover. 

The information along with numerous highly detailed sketches certainly opened her mind to several possibilities, and had her flushing red in discomfort, however the book certainly had raised her blood pressure a few degrees, and hadn't cooled the desire running through her veins. Isabela had left her with a wink and an overly knowing smirk that day, but only after pointing out a particular page which she had said Fenris needed to read if he was worried. 

The trick now was to try to use it to her benefit, but there hadn't been an opportunity, well there actually had been Natalia admitted to herself, and although she was keen to try something new with him, when it came to mentioning it she became a stuttering mess. 

It wasn't as if they hadn't shared their bodies intimately, but her reluctance to broach the subject was possibly due to the fact they'd both mutually initiated sex as they knew where it would lead to, their desire for each other needed no words, but Fenris's over-protective stance left her feeling a little less confident. 

What had started as a small niggling problem was turning into something that occupied her thoughts on a near constant basis. 

As the evening wore on, they'd played a few rounds of a good card game. This time Donnic had won a few coins from Varric in the end, not an awful lot, but it would pay for a few drinks at the Hanged Man for the next few weeks, or if Aveline had her way they would save it for their future. It was probably due to the normally cheating Isabela being side tracked trying to pump Alexia for details about her own life, of which she was not giving much away. 

The first to leave were Sebastian, Aveline and Donnic, promising to stop by again the following week. Then after another hour filled with slightly inebriated ramblings, the others left to escort a delightfully wobbly Merrill home. After the hugs and thanks, soon enough it was just Carver, Alexia, Fenris and Natalia. 

Draining the last of the refreshing juice from her refilled glass, she later didn't know what had gotten into her, but after they'd sat back down, she took a deep steadying breath and couldn't stop herself from leaning more heavily into Fenris's side and whispering "I can't wait to be alone with you tonight. I miss you being hot and hard and inside me." 

There were no words to describe his reaction, but perhaps it would have been better to wait until he'd swallowed his own mouthful of ale as all she heard shortly after was a gurgle and a choking cough, then found herself slapping Fenris's back as he tried to breath normally again. 

Carver and Alexia had rushed round to his side too, both looking shocked and with "Maker Fenris, are you okay - is there anything you need, what happened?" from a slightly worried Carver. 

Checking that he can take a breath more or less easily now he replies "Yes......yes I am fine, my...ah....drink went down the wrong way, thank you for your concern." He looks sheepishly up at the three now standing before him, takes another breath and decides to call it a night "I think we should retire after all the fun and excitement, I am sure Natalia needs her rest." At his nod they all say their goodnights and they separate to their rooms. 

Natalia meekly follows Fenris to their room, knowing she'd upset him a little, or at least shocked him, and not really wanting to have to deal with the aftermath, but she loved him and they would discuss this like adults, no matter the result. 

Softly closing the door she turns round and finds one slightly exasperated elf standing near their bed, his hands balled into fists, staring at her with a mixture of concern and irritation, his green eyes glinting in the muted candle light. 

Not giving him time to say anything, she marches up to him quickly, rests her hand on his arm, squeezes gently and starts to explain "Fenris, I love you dearly, I'm not going to apologise for saying that to you....well maybe as you had your mouth full of ale - sorry about that - but not because I don't mean it. For the past few weeks I've tried to tell you that I've really missed making love with you." 

Walking to one of the bedroom cabinets, she opens it and pulls out the dreaded book and slowly walks over to him again and meets his gaze directly. "Yes I know you're afraid you're going to hurt me, but I think by now I know my limitations.....besides Isabela sort of loaned me a book...which....ah - has a really interesting page which I want you to read." At this she takes a breath and hands him the book. 

He looks at her and then down to the small tome, taking it from her outstretched hand. A bookmark has been inserted so the page in question is easy to find, he sits on the bed and begins to read. It doesn't take too long, but in the reasonably short time, Natalia starts to feel maybe this was the wrong move, as Fenris's face flushes the more he reads, and at this stage she wasn't sure if it was with anger or embarrassment, either reaction not good. 

Finally he closes the book with a soft snap and puts it down besides him on the bed. He shuts his eyes, but when he opens them the sight that greets her fills her heart with warmth, instead of anger she sees that his eyes are full of hunger - hunger for her. 

"So, this is what has been bugging you for so long? I did wonder on several occasions what you wished to discuss with me for a few nights, and now I know. I understand how you feel, I have missed making love to you too, I just - I did....I did not want to cause you more pain, and perhaps I have been a bit too overcautious in this. This book has certainly provided more than enough information. If you are sure you would like to try I am more than willing, but you must tell me if it is too much." With a beautiful, slightly nervous smile he holds out his hand to her and she gladly takes it. 

He pulls her gently towards him so she is standing between his legs, his thighs hot and hard against her own. He clasps the back of her head gently and swiftly plants his mouth on hers in a soft but heated kiss, always mindful of her shoulder. The kiss is perfect, their tongues meeting and tasting, as always sends her heart into an accelerated beat, she breaks the kiss, softly suggesting "How about we get rid of some of these clothes?" She feels him smile against her mouth and does as requested. 

Moving back it doesn't take him long to undress, and she can already see that his arousal has sprung to life as if even his own body cannot wait to feel the familiar warmth of her own. 

He stands quickly and helps her remove her robe, all the time pressing kisses to each and every patch of skin revealed so it takes that little bit longer for her to get undressed. At his gasp she can see that she has either excited or shocked him, she couldn't get her breast band on this morning so went without, not knowing that it would benefit her later. 

"What? Like what you see?" she grins at him, he doesn't speak but smirking, still meeting her blue gaze, bends and takes one nipple into his mouth. At her gasp starts pulling it deeper and suckles, she cannot help the heavy sigh that escapes, and takes his head in her hands as if to prevent him from going anywhere - not that he wanted to. With his other hand he gently grasps her other breast, noticing that the nipple has pebbled and pulls at it, he cannot help but be a little bit rough after hearing the resulting moan. 

Natalia cannot take anymore and reaches between them, wrapping her fingers around his manhood, she can feel the soft, hot silky hardness pulsating and with her thumb runs it over the tip, already moist, remembering how he feels in her mouth, how he tastes and cannot help as her stomach tightens in anticipation. 

Instead of gasping he retaliates by using his teeth, gently nipping the bud currently in his mouth which makes her tighten the hold she has of him and he jerks in her arms. Breathing heavily, his eyes nearly black, he kisses Natalia as he moves to stand fully again, taking his time to savour her taste. "As much as I love having your hands on me, if you continue this will be over before its begun. Shall we move this to the bed?" 

Not capable of speech at the moment, all she can do its nod, but she shyly points to the smalls that she still happens to be wearing. He flushes even more and helping her keep balance, removes them. The look he gives her when he sees how ready she is for him, she's surprised she doesn't burst into flames there and then. 

Running his hand down her arm he tenderly strokes her heavy breasts and splays his hand over her soft swollen belly, still with a look of pure joy on his face - he continues his journey and as he reaches her moist centre, presses his whole hand against her, using his thumb he pushes and the rush she feels at this turns her knees to jelly. 

To prevent her from falling to the ground he wraps his free arm around her and presses himself against her body, using his exceptional strength holds onto her but continues to tease her folds, using one long finger, reaches his goal and he slides home, her loud keening moan a delight to his ears. 

Soon she can't take any more and pleads with him "Ahhhhh......Fenris, please, I need - " Breaking off as he slips two fingers inside her, she starts to move against them as he continues to push deeper. "Oh....please, ah - lets get to bed?" Reluctantly he slowly removes his hand, but when he brings his fingers to his mouth and licks them clean, she grabs him and pushes her tongue into his mouth, patience be damned. 

Again she feels him smile against her lips, she can taste herself and it almost makes her heart falter as it mingles with his own. How in the fade they make it to the bed is beyond her, but they don't even push the covers back, so eager are they for one another. Following the guide in the book Natalia lies on her good side, and Fenris lies behind her, the warmth of his body sending shivers down her spine. 

With a voice as thick as honey he still has her shoulder in mind "Please, if this gets too much, you must tell me." His warm breath fanning her hair. "Oh, don't worry I will." she whispers back to him, feeling round her, finding his hip which she strokes gently. 

He grunts in response and presses open mouthed kisses to her neck and shifts ever closer to her. She can feel his hardness at her rear and pushes back against him in excitement which grants her a muffled "Careful". 

He reaches down, palming the globe of one cheek, and slides his hand to find her wet, tight and ready. He doesn't want to waste anymore time and gently thrusts forward as she moves back, sliding deep and they both moan at the intimate contact not felt for so long, her tight heat enveloping him. 

"Stay still, let me pleasure you, love." He mutters between gritted teeth as he seats himself fully within her. She lets out a relieved giggle at both the feel of him inside her and also at his dominance but breathes out "Anything for you, anything - " Emitting a louder wail as he really starts to move, anchoring her to him by grasping her hip so she can do nothing but take him and enjoy the ride. 

He moves his hand from her hip and slows down a little to draw out the intensity. Reaching between them as he pulls almost all the way out and thrusts deep again eliciting a long moan from her, using his fingers to press against her clitoris, doubling her pleasure, he can feel her muscles clench in earnest against him and he groans and jerks faster into her. 

Both of them are so caught up in the intensity of it all, the only sounds in the room are rasping breaths and the soft slapping of flesh against flesh. 

Natalia gasps as she can feel electric tingles running through her, her breathy moans becoming halted. There doesn't seem to be enough air in the room. She grabs helplessly for Fenris again, finding his moving thigh and grasps it as she can feel she is so close, she mutters "Fenris, faster...I'm ahhhh..." trailing off as he too feels near and he begins to thrust with speed again. 

He lifts her leg, fitting it over his own and at this his penetration is at a different angle and although he's buried to the hilt, feels he cannot thrust deeply enough for the both of them. Her belly tightens as she feels the first waves of sensation flowing through her body. 

Fenris moves his hand to her again and all it takes is one little press against her nub and the waves crash through her over and over and she cannot think. There is only sensation, pure pleasure as she screams out, shuddering uncontrollably. His thrusts become more erratic as he feels the pressure build, his own body tightens, revelling in the ripple of her inner muscles on him and at last he explodes in a roar of completion, spilling his seed into Natalia in a rush. 

They both collapse, breathing fast and heavy, bodies slick with sweat, hearts racing as they both catch their breath. He moves her leg from him, but doesn't break the intimate contact, instead moves closer to her again. 

Moving her hair aside, pressing soft sweet kisses to her neck he asks with a throaty growl "Are you well?" Stroking her arm as she replies "More than well, that was......that was - oh Maker! That was just - you are so perfect, and see I am perfectly fine too, no harm done. Oh!"

At her start he gently pulls out of her, missing the contact almost immediately, sits up and taking care pulls her up with him. "What 'Talia, what?" He almost shouts, worry for her evident in his voice. 

Seeing her already flushed face she looks up at him "Nothings wrong, its just that I totally forgot we had guests......Andraste's knickers, I really hope they didn't hear us. I don't think I could face them in the morning!" 

She covers her face with her hands and in the silence they can hear soft muted moans and the rhythmic knocking of bed posts against a wall, and meeting the elf's amused gaze chuckles "I guess that answers my question!" 

Moving to her again and pressing his mouth against hers he rests his forehead against hers and asks "Are you sure everything's fine?" He flexes his palm against her naked belly and feels a soft fluttering in response.

""Yes I am absolutely just magical, but I think baby might not be able to sleep for a while." As she says this she stifles a yawn and at his chuckle he gestures she lay back down, but before he snuggles against her, reaches back for a potion to ease any lingering pain her shoulder may feel and passes it to her, she accepts it and grimaces at its horrid taste. "Eugh! The least he can do is make it taste like honey or something, not like ass!" Taking the empty bottle he sniggers back "As if you know what that tastes like." 

Hearing her quiet murmur in reply, unsure if she's joking "Want to try that tomorrow? I'm sure your ass cheeks taste divine." Yawning for a second time he again assists in helping to pull the covers over themselves and although it takes time for them to settle down, they both sleep that night, soundly wrapped in each others blissful embrace.


	20. Claimed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Wow, can't believe I've reached chapter 20 - a massive thanks to those who've stuck with me all the way here, and yep I know I do go on a bit but it means a lot to me! There's a little bit of sexy time in this chapter too, just to let you know. Don't worry, there are moments of fluff as well, so grab that hot coffee and make yourself comfortable :)

The strong and sound heartbeat under her ear slowly loosened the soft inviting tendrils of sleep from her mind and body, becoming more aware of the steady thrum as she finds herself laying sprawled over a thoroughly heated Fenris, his arms curled gently round her back - as if even in sleep all he wanted to do was comfort but yet be the protection she needed.

Lifting her head she sees that he is very much still deeply asleep, indeed his dreams seemed untroubled, he even had a small smile on his face. 

Smiling herself in response as being a light enough sleeper, hadn't failed to notice the very little rest he'd been able to get when her injury had been at its worst. The morning sickness had abated since then, thankfully, but she'd been up during the night, morning and sometimes afternoons for weeks after. 

Fenris had been by her side her all the way, had been with her for the various mood swings her sickness took her through. Despite needing rest himself, as he'd stepped in on many of the missions she would have taken on, he insisted on making sure she ate the little she could keep down, held her hair whilst she vomited uncontrollably, helped her drink water after, and comforted her whilst she wept. 

Yes she really hadn't been a good patient, she had felt so weak for something out of her control, and yet he stayed when most men would have run for the hills. He had told her they were together now through the bad times and the good, he knew she didn't mean any of it. 

When she realised her attitude had been just _horrid_ , her demeanour had changed and had tried anything to make it up to her poor elf. 

Usually at this point she would sneakily move down his body and wake him up in the very best of ways, knowing that he would welcome it, but she pauses and takes a lingering look upon him and sees that the lines of tension and worry his dear face had worn for so many weeks were absent, softened with the oblivion of slumber. 

Deciding that despite how she would love to take him in her mouth and use her newly found skills to give some of the heady pleasure back to him that he had on many occasions given her, that he needed his rest more. 

Besides feeling the heavy weight of guilt that she'd been the one to cause him worry stops further action, so instead rests her head once more over his heart, sighs in contentment and lets the waves of slumber roll over her, welcoming the familiar call of the fade. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

The rasp of claws on wood was very quickly starting to grate on his nerves as he lay sated and warm in the too small bed, his legs didn't even fit so his feet were hanging off the sides. 

"Unurgh" Came the incoherent mumble from beneath the sheet draped over the both of them. Clearly the scratching had woken his - what? Partner? Other half? Light of his life? - unsure of what they were to each other, their developing relationship too new to even begin to label - he settles for lover - if only for this moment. 

He caresses her shoulder and hears a sharp intake of breath. Maker! He didn't realise he affected her that much. Smirking to himself, he continues south and at her quickening pulse heads towards her perfect behind, palming one exquisite cheek he can't help but pinch. 

At her resulting squeal, the scratching outside their room continues at an increasing pace - this time followed by incessant whining. 

"Lovely as this is, I really don't think I could make love with your dog sitting outside our room." Alexia complains as still under cover, slowly crawls her way up Carvers body, delighting in the feel of his hard sinewy muscles and overheated skin, still sticky from sweat and their frenetic lovemaking throughout the night. 

He laughs openly, she feels the deep resonance of his voice in her own body, sending her heart racing again. He could send her over the edge with just his voice. 

"That dog is not mine so I in no way responsible for what he gets up to, besides I have no intention of letting him in, I've found I have a more interesting diversion than playing fetch with a mabari." He still has his hands on her bottom, and she pushes into them as he explores with his fingers. 

"Ohhhh!" She bites her lip and moans loudly as he finds her centre, she's delightfully sore but not in a bad way. At last she comes up for air as she reaches the top of the blanket, hair all mussed and can't help but peruse his face for any indication of regret - finding only a gentle warmth which slowly turns into molten heat as Carver pushes several fingers into her, he sighs heavily as he finds her moist and warm. 

Before she can arch into him and force his digits deeper into her, he suddenly pulls them out, not muttering a single word at her whimper of loss, drags her the rest of the way up to him and devours her mouth in an open mouthed kiss where she responds with equal fervour. 

Deepening the kiss he pushes his tongue against hers and emits a groan at the taste of her, he doesn't believe that he could ever tire of it. 

At her whimper he grabs her arms and breaks the kiss, muttering between short sharp kisses "I'd rather play help the warden find release....." However at this he pulls further back, looks down at her and sighs. "Um....Lex, we - we didn't really talk about that happened last night at the dinner, I think we were too caught up with us afterwards for that, but - I guess I need to tell you that you have nothing to worry about. Ah, Izzie is a.....um...very open woman, but she has never been my type - nor will be." 

Her reaction isn't one he envisioned as she visibly flinches and pulls ever further away. 

"Seriously, we've just made love practically all night - I - I let - let you do things to me no one ever has and _that's_ what you bring up in casual conversation the morning after!" Poking him in the chest with a finger to emphasise her ire. 

She sits up, straddling him, the anger evident in the way her body has tightened and her previously soft eyes becoming stormy. "If I had cared what she'd done or who she is to you we'd have slept in separate rooms! Yes I admit I had been a little annoyed, who wouldn't be - you're mine, but you did nothing to suggest that you welcomed the come on. Andraste's flaming arse Carver - if the fact that I'm here with you doesn't scream I don't give a shit about your past then I've obviously fallen in love with an idiot! Great, so now you've killed the mood, I'm getting a wash!" 

During her tirade she's moved closer to him, her breasts pushing up against his chest and with every angry breath he got that little bit distracted. The distraction evaporates immediately after one word breaks through the fog of arousal. 

_Love._

That single little word stops his heart for a second, before it gallops out of his chest. His blue gaze centres on hers - she hasn't realised the slip, not yet anyway so not wanting to ruin this one chance he breathes deep and to stop her from getting off him, takes her arms. 

"Sorry - I really am sorry for being an arse yet again, clearly thinking sometimes isn't my forte, but as we were a little worse for wear last night I didn't want it hanging over our heads. I don't want to lose you. We've known each other a while now, mostly as friends or fighting alongside each other, how I didn't see what was in front of me this whole time I have no idea." 

She softens as he speaks and relaxes in his hold, as the words he's wanted to say for a while flow freely from his mouth, his hands become gentler. "For me this is more than a fling. I've loved you as a friend but - more than that as well, but I've been a fool for letting the possibility of rejection stop me doing anything about it." 

Carver's not the best at giving heartfelt speeches but when he finishes, Alexia's eyes are brimming with tears and as she blinks they slowly roll down her flushed cheeks. He moves to kiss them and she doesn't stop him - a positive sign he thinks. 

Instead she cups his face and presses her own mouth against his in a feather light kiss, leaning back looks directly into his blue eyes, her voice thick with emotion. 

"You're an idiot, but you're _my_ idiot. I truly didn't know. I love you, have done for a bit too I guess. I hadn't had to think about anyone like that in an age, the last guy I was involved with ended it to marry a girl his family thought was better suited. Turned out he had no back bone whatsoever. The final time I saw him he said we could keep seeing each other, I punched him in the head and kicked his balls, so I don't think that ended well. So we've both been stupid and idiotic not to pluck up the courage before now, I just didn't want to feel like that again, like I don't matter. Oh! Think of all this time we've missed, not being together!" She kisses him swiftly. 

Her lips turn downwards at her next statement. "I also know about the Orders rules they have in place to try to prevent this from happening. You know we can't let them know we're involved, I'm not even sure they would allow us to stay in the same place after this......" 

At the fear she shows, his eyes darken, his lips press together and after a second seems to make a decision and with a throaty growl lets out " _Fuck_ the Order. We can apply for a double transfer, here or somewhere close. I only know that we will work it out." 

Then as fast as lightening fuses his mouth to hers, he is beyond aroused, and whilst their tongues battle, lifts her up so she can slide down onto his length. They both still at her vocal hiss of satisfaction and he reaches to link their hands together, loving the feel of goose bumps on her arms as his fingers ghost downwards. "I'm not hurting you am I?" 

The deep timber of his voice is husky with his own unspoken emotion, but Alexia cannot miss it shining from his fierce possessive gaze, leans forward and whispers "No, nothing like that at all, its just it feels so good with you inside me, I feel so very, very full." 

He grins wickedly "I aim to please." Loosening his hold on her, he moves to grip her hips and pulls on them. 

Without hurrying even though he wants to drive his aching body so hard back into her, lifts her up so he slowly eases out with a grunt. Her groan at the feel of him dragging against her soft walls makes him even harder if that could be possible, she can feel every single inch of him, hot and pulsing, and demands more with a cry and clenches around him. 

With that he begins to move hard and fast. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Tilting his brown head at the door before him, listening intently to the strange sounds coming from the locked room - the humans didn't sound as if they were in pain, Blaze backs away with a huff. There was only so much a dog could do to gain entry to a room, and he has his pride, so with that he pads towards his true masters bedroom, his claws clicking on the stone floor. 

He whines loudly, fed up with all the closed doors and again starts scratching. 

His keen canine hearing follows the light foot steps heading his way, not his master then but his step-master, but its progress and close enough, so he yelps in glee and wags his tail happily hearing the key in the lock. 

Fenris peers down at the mabari with a smile asking "What brings you here Blaze?" and widens the gap in the open door so he can pass through. 

Shutting the door, he walks over and sits on the bed, petting the hound along the way, which grants him a rather wet swipe of a tongue in reward. Blaze huffs and jumps on the bed too, sidling up to a snoozing Natalia. 

She's only lightly dozing and snorts awake at finding a cold wet nose pressed against her bare neck, popping one eye open. "Urgh! Thank you dearly for that!" However she doesn't push him away but happily drags him closer nuzzling his head. "Hey, sorry for shutting you out for the dinner last night, but you did knock plates off tables and peed everywhere. You were just too excited I think to have everyone here, but it was for your own good. You seem to lose all control and become a pup again! Don't forget that I did ask Orana, Bodahn and Sandle to eat with us but they declined, and you love playing eh? So you had fun yes?" He whines again as if to say "yeah okay" but rolls over when she starts to rub his tummy, his stubby tail wiggling faster. 

Fenris watching them snorts out his own bark of a laugh and leaning over her, runs his hand through her messed up bed hair, mindful not to snag any of his fingers. Stifling his chuckle he strokes her forehead with his fingers and thumb and her piercing blue gaze locks with his. "Well I can't stay mad at one of my boys can I?" 

His roaming fingers still as he suddenly pictures a small boy-child with black hair and blue eyes so much like Natalia's and he cannot breathe from the _joy_ he feels at such a vision. 

Hawke sees the look wash over his face, she's seen it before - more so now, not as often in the early days of their romance he seemed not to know how or when to show his emotions. The more time spent together the more open he became with her, it wasn't hard to read his face now though. 

This however was one feeling she could relate to, and she just knows there is nothing untoward but cannot help asking anyway. "What's wrong?" 

He breaks out of his rapture and leans further into her, presses his mouth to hers with an almost reverent touch, to which she smiles. Moving his hands he peels down the blanket revealing her naked form beneath and despite her blushes, he keeps her gaze and skims her bump with his fingers. 

Natalia knows her blush is ridiculous, as its only Fenris and her dog here, but can't prevent it creeping up her neck. 

He asks in a low gravelly voice "What would you prefer, a boy or girl?" covering his hand, playing with his fingers, she smiles at him and replies. "I really don't mind. Anders did ask if I wanted to know - apparently there's a spell for that too for later on in the pregnancy, the wonders you discover when with child eh? I was curious, but I think its just so much more exciting - the not knowing. Just as long as he or she is happy and healthy - that's all that matters." 

As she finishes speaking, Blaze tilts his head at her now displayed stomach and licks a spot near her belly button, snuffling round a bit further licks another spot on her ever expanding waistline. "Hey - that tickles!" Chuckling trying to move the hound away, at the same time pulls Fenris's hand to her cheek, kisses his palm and sighs. "You do realise when Archibald or Fustina is born, there won't be much time for cosy lie-ins such as this?" 

He strokes her face once more and gracefully slides from the bed to stand again, turns to her with a not so serious look and with a "In no way is a child of mine being named either of those! Are there no books that Aveline or Isabela brought you that were not obtained from the least best-selling publications in all of Thedas? Besides I am sure we can come up with something better." 

Giving a throaty chuckle at his reply, she sits up and covers herself with the blanket once more. "Hey, I'll have you know those books contain very insightful passages. For instance, did you know that if I were to shove moss in my breast band for three weeks before the birth the baby will have elf vision - that's for non elf babies of course, and that eating a corn-fed nug in your sixth month will make a son have the strength of a bull? Who wouldn't want that? And you've got to give Izzie credit, that one book she found for us certainly must have made it on your number one list?" 

Grinning inanely at the blush sweeping over his face she holds her hand out flapping it in a truce, making the cover slip low again. "Okay okay - sorry, I just couldn't help it!" Giggling at him as he pokes his tongue out at her. 

Deliberately husking up her voice "Later on you can show me other uses for that talented tongue of yours." The giggles die down after he shoots her a smouldering look in response and she gulps. 

He stifles a groan himself as he sees her nipples pebble before his eyes, and with a smoky edge to his voice asks "Yes, that book is my number one Satinalia gift. Now we know you are well enough - if not back to full health, there are...um...certain possibilities for us, and if you are up to it later I definitely will show you an interesting find on page twenty seven." 

Coughing he changes the subject, he has to physically stop himself from striding back to her and claiming her in every way he can, doing so at that moment would have denied his woman and child a hearty breakfast asks ".....So....chocolate orange buns and tea for breakfast or do you wish for something else?" At the same time he motions for Blaze to leave with him, the hound huffing in compliance and scrambling off the bed trots towards to the door. 

She throws the blanket fully off her finally, noticing his eyes following the bounce of her breasts, wishing fervently for him to come back to her and show her what he'd found out, but her stomach growls loudly and instead stops for a second to check for any lingering pain in her shoulder, finding nothing but a small ache and picks up the neatly folded night dress and pulls it over her head. 

Scooting off the bed, stuffing her feet in the slippers Merrill kindly made her, she makes her way to the privy turns to Fenris with a "Oooh, yes please, I could eat ten of those things - well maybe not but I feel like it - thank you. Just going to the loo, I'll see you downstairs in a bit?" 

As soon as she registers he's left the room, the door giving a soft click, she hurries over to their night stand and pulls the aforementioned book from the cupboard and swiftly flicks to the page in question. Her eyes roam the script and she can't help but stifle a moan - she thinks heatedly "Tonight _really_ can't come quick enough".


	21. Colours of the Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - This had been part of chapter 20 but I felt this could actually be a whole chapter by itself what with being quite long. So you get two this week for the price of one! There's angst in this again, I love a bit of the old angst as you know by now - sorry! However I think its a follow on from some of Hawkes feelings earlier on in the story, but it all comes to a head in this one. At times Anders really annoys me, but I can certainly say I really feel for him in this one. If only I wasn't such a Hawke/Fenris fangirl he may have had a chance. I might have something up my sleeve for him, but depends on my muse :)

Sweeping hurriedly into the dining room, after a quick wash, she had tried to splash herself with cool water to reduce the flushes in her face but she was still quite red.

Natalia notices the lack of brother and houseguest, flushing a little more at the goings on of last night she sits in the seat Fenris offers her. 

Her eyes widen when they notice the rolls that are plated up, the glistening milk and dark chocolate calling out to her, and she can't help herself but dives on one of them like she's a starved madwoman, grabbing and ripping the soft sweet bread apart, stuffing a piece of it in her mouth, closing her eyes and groaning as the sharp citrus tang clashes with the sweet chocolate that melts in her mouth. 

"Talia, take it slowly or you will make yourself sick." Despite the caution in his words she opens her eyes to see him smiling at her, pleased that she's showing a more wholesome appetite again. 

Perhaps their lovemaking had given her energy as she is positively sparkling this morning, he thinks to himself, smirking as he knows what she'd been up to before she left the room, her bright eyes betraying the arousal she still felt, he squirmed in his chair at even the thought of what he'd seen in that book. 

Just then the door opens and in races Blaze, the smell of fresh food making him drool and run around in circles, with Sandal merrily following at his heels, playfully running after him and barking too. A small chuckle comes from Bodhan as he also makes his way into the room. 

"Good morning! I hope you are in the mood for plenty of breakfast?" Natalia welcomes the three into the room, picking up a plain bun and setting it on a plate, solemnly giving it to Sandal who shouts "Doggy food!" and puts it on the floor. 

Blaze wolfs it down in one swallow and somehow at the same time also manages to lick Sandals face who giggles in delight. The three adults smile at the pairs antics. Who knew they would have formed such a close bond. Mabari's were first and foremost a war hound, but that didn't stop them becoming a beloved and valued member of the family. 

The older dwarf , stepping past the two, seats himself at the table and using a small knife splits two rolls, one for him and the other for his son, and butters them liberally. He turns and speaks clearly to his son who at that moment is rolling on his back, copying the dog. "Sandal, come get your breakfast now, please." 

With that he jumps up excitedly and climbs up onto his seat, and with both hands pulls one part of roll into smaller pieces, the warmth of his hands melting the chocolate quickly, he picks up his mug of juice and eats his fill, loudly licking his fingers clean with a "Mmmm!" 

Wiping his mouth, Bodahn clears his throat and mentions "Messere Hawke, I just want to tell you my boy has made up the rune for you, to protect you and the baby. The one that Master Anders had suggested, he couldn't make it until after you got the specially required ingredients for him. Thank you for that, we wouldn't have been able to get them on our own....who would have thought there was such a thing as fade touched stones or even metals?" He shakes his head in wonder. 

"Anyways, the thing is, he's gone and made two, not just the one - I did ask him why but he said wait and see. Ah, maybe ones is for your robes and the other for your staff - " 

He's cut off by Sandals excited cry "Bird lady good, I like her, and pies! No, not one baby bird, but two, made up two shiny shiny for them both, don't want any of them to hurt!" 

At the boys words, both Fenris and Natalia look to him in open shock, clearly realising what he meant by that comment, it doesn't take too long for them to process that bit of information. 

She finds her voice first, its small and hesitant. "But...surely if there were two Anders would have known?" 

Putting the unfinished food back on her plate, finding her appetite had vanished, she wipes her hands on a napkin and gratefully accepts the water glass that Fenris presses into her hand. 

As soon as the young lad had mentioned anything about their being more than one baby, he had gotten up and knelt by Natalia's side. 

Not sure of what to do, never having been in this situation before, he gently turns Talia's head with his fingers so he can meet her eyes and trying not to raise his voices mutters "Are you sure the mage hasn't been wrong with this, I know that Sandal is gifted beyond anything we have encountered, and perhaps he knows more that we do about these things? Twins do run in your family." 

His fingers graze her cheek and nodding in agreement confirms. "Yes that they do. How about getting Anders in here to check once and for all? Not that I mind in any way if there were two children, but all I know is that mother had a difficult time with them. I'm sure that everything's going to be okay, but two babies can make things a little bit harder for the birth." 

She covers his hand with hers and squeezes "Well this is going to be fun, lets finish eating and we'll send a messenger or something, unless....do you want to get him, the sooner we find out the better eh?" He can feel the tremor in her hands, despite the brave words, he too feels that the rug has been pulled out from under him, but they have gotten to this stage of their lives and her pregnancy and he will not allow doubt or fear to control them. 

He kisses her softly and with a growl "You are healthy and strong, if there are two of my children growing in here" - he splays both hands possessively over her belly - "then I am beyond happy at the prospect." 

Swallowing he continues, trying to convey his sincerity. "I know you miss your mother dreadfully, how could you not, you loved her dearly and are scared of what could happen without her guidance and experience. Over these last few weeks, you have been very happy I can see that, but there have been times when even you could not hide this sorrow from me." 

Wiping away a tear that has fallen with his thumb, he goes on. "You have been troubled about this, but you must let this fear go, before it does any lasting damage. I am so very sorry she cannot be here for you....please understand that I will do _everything_ within my power and beyond to keep you safe, and what you also do not realise is that each and everyone of your friends will be there for you too. Why do you think they have not left you alone?" 

His hands remain where they are throughout, and not lifting her eyes from his, she feels the fear ebb away slowly. The strength of his unconditional love pouring from him fills her up so completely that soon there is no room for fear left, but she smothers a sob and rushes to embrace him, falling from her chair into his arms, but as always, he is there to catch her and they both kneel on the floor as the wall she'd carefully crafted not so secretly, tumbles down. 

Fenris can do nothing but comfort her, the two dwarves and the dog quietly leave them to give them a bit of privacy, as she finally gives into the fear and sorrow he knows she has tried to hide since finding out she was pregnant, stroking her hair it isn't long before her sobs soon end and she hiccups. 

In between the sobs they hear a door open and soon after hear "What in the bloody fade is going on here?" Carver steadily makes his way warily over to them, but Natalia lifts her head, her eyes red and cheeks tear stained, looking up at him, she just manages to croak out "I might be having twins!" That sets her off again and this time Fenris believes its not so much the sorrow or fear as before but more than likely hormones raging through her, but does not stop doing his best to comfort her. 

"Oh, why are you crying then? Do you want me to leave?" He sits in a now vacant seat before either of them can reply and helps himself to two of the cooling rolls, and a glass of the still chilled juice. He quickly swallows his mouthful and gestures towards them with a partially bitten roll in hand. "I probably am going to regret asking again, but why is she crying like that?" 

Fenris lifts his head and with grunt replies. "'Talia misses your mother and had not come to terms with the truth until now, that she will not be here when the baby arrives. If it is twins there could be....a difficult birth...but I think its the fact that if your mother were still here she would not be as scared - but I think we are going to be okay. Are we not?" 

Sniffling she raises her head from his shoulder looks to them both and whispers "Yes, I think we are...." Seeing the resolve flash in his eyes she tries again. "Yes, we _are,_ going to be okay." Her voice much stronger this time, he lovingly smiles at her - yes, there's the Hawke he knows and loves. 

Releasing her tight grip on him she tries to stand but he gets up before her and picks her up, taking her into his arms, she doesn't struggle but he doesn't put her down, even at her firm request. 

"You have possibly had a shock so therefore until Anders gets here you will be resting, and you will try not to worry until this is confirmed?" Softening his orders with a kiss she sighs and agrees and after he settles her fully in his arms, takes her to their room. 

Carver blinks and scratches his head with his free hand, trying to process all that went on in the last few minutes, the shared sorrow at missing their mother, the fear he could see shadowing his sisters eyes, acceptance that even without him being there, he knows now that she will be looked after very well if they had to go back to headquarters. 

Seriously, these past weeks, he's found out the love of his life actually loves him back, he's had the best sex - well, the best sex he's ever had in his whole life, crammed into the past couple of days. He might possibly be an uncle to twins in a few months time, if not he's still going to be an uncle, and at last his sister has found her match in every way. 

The more he thought about it, he saw how funny it was, seeing his sister meekly agree to something like that after kicking up a fuss, usually she is a bloody stubborn woman, and he suddenly breaks into an uncontrolled laugh. 

Alexia walks in on him in tears trying to eat his way through the rest of the huge pile of rolls. Slapping his hand down, she sits on his lap and starts to eat her share, knowing he will eventually tell her why he's in a room, alone, eating and laughing so much he's actually crying. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

As Anders hurriedly packs his medicine bag, at the same time he wondered if it were only the messages or visits concerning Hawke which caused worry to churn in his gut or if it was every urgent call out. Not that this was urgent but it involved _her_ , so of course he found himself rushing around like an idiot. 

Forcing himself to slow down, he stops the mad pace, and runs a hand over his face, re-reading the short terse note clutched in his hand: 

"Mage, Talia needs you, please come soon. Fenris." 

The elf usually never said please to him generally, so he guessed it there was a little desperation in that plea, but deep in his core he knew the agitation was for what he still felt for her. 

Yes his heart still ached, especially when he saw the looks she gave that blasted elf, but he hadn't wanted that jealousy to turn into something like hate, or colour his view of love or relationships so he was trying to accept it for what it was. 

It was just that simple, he'd lost and Fenris had won. Not that Natalia was some prize to be fought over, but the months that followed after she had refused his advances, not having moved one to anyone else, and hearing of their reconciliation, he knew that whatever she had felt for him was nothing more than friendship. 

Knowing that though and accepting it were two different things entirely. 

Months ago, he had often wondered what it would feel like, being with her, having that all consuming love directed his way, the bliss he would have found in her arms. There had been nights he was so full of want, and had taken himself in hand, but afterwards he'd felt grubby and slightly ashamed, she deserved more, but he realised he did too. 

He'd even thought about visiting the Blooming Rose, but sleeping with any of those girls was not what he really wanted, there would be no loved involved in any of their cheap transactions, but he knew he needed to move on, eventually. 

Until one morning, glancing in the mottled cracked mirror hanging above the small sink by his bed, he shouted out loud in the dusky silence "Enough!" In that moment he had heard a soft voice at the back of his skull agree. 

It was getting easier to live with a shattered and bruised heart, and as he loved Natalia, he only wanted her to be happy, and she was. A small part of him was deeply wounded he couldn't be the man to make her feel like that, but the other part was truly happy for her so he grabbed onto that feeling with both hands. 

Seeing her so full of joy made him feel a little better, instead there sat a new, different kind of friendship for them both. It wasn't like before, but as he'd said to her, he would be here as a friend and he would stay true to his word. 

Besides, who would want a man who had willingly taken a spirit into his body anyway, apart from Izzie who had propositioned him several times, but only if he used magic. One of these days he might even take her up on it, but not yet. 

Although he wouldn't admit to anyone but himself, he was starting to become afraid of his black-outs and what that had to mean. Justice was becoming more and more active. He couldn't sleep half the time with worry, but it wasn't as if he could undo it all, he'd spent weeks researching but to no avail. 

If it wasn't for that bitch Meredith, he'd be able to still feel more like himself, to control the spirit within him, but she kept tightening the noose she had around the city, especially concerning mages and he felt so damned helpless. 

He tightens his hold on the handle of his bag and closing and locking both doors to his clinic, he adjusts the small painted "Out on a call" sign on the door so it sat straighter and set off to the Hawke estate, using the still unknown cellar passage to cut considerable time off the journey. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

As soon as he arrives in the kitchen, he was shown by Orana to their room, and found her sitting up in bed, looking a little pale but otherwise healthy, with Fenris sitting next to her, clasping her hand. 

He expected the angry glare from the elf, that was a given, but blinked at the scared look he got from her. So he moved quickly to her free side and gently asked "I got that note, not really helpful to be honest..." Sighing he starts again, meeting her blue red-rimmed eyes, he softens his tone as he notices she's been crying for some reason. "Sorry, is it your arm, is it bleeding? I had thought it had fully healed - you aren't doing too much are you, I did only take the stitches out two weeks ago.." Stopping at the shake of her head he looks at them both with confusion. 

"Ah, then I don't get it, you're not in pain, the baby's okay?" At their nod he still has no idea why he's been called out. 

Fenris coughs and before he can say anything Natalia blurts out in a rush "Something happened with Sandal, you see, he made two runes instead of one, and you need to check if there's two not one...." She blushes because, as usual whenever she gets anxious she just lets slip whats in her mind, not stopping to take a breath. She opens her mouth to try again, but stops when Fenris brushes his thumb over her knuckles. 

"Um, what Natalia is trying to ask, is that we have reason to believe she could be carrying twins, so we need you to check if that could be possible. Please?" He gives a half smile, which clearly doesn't reach his eyes, not that he cared, but he wasn't able to bring himself to smile fully, in part due to the slight anger he holds for the mage - how could he not detect two lives - he is supposed to be a healer after all, and the other due to worry for the stress this is causing her. 

Blowing out a pent up breath Anders exclaims "Makers breath, I never even considered....I know I haven't had cause to check on the baby for a while now, but the babies heart was strong and developing nicely. Talia is due for another appointment in a short while anyway." 

A fresh wave of dismay rushes over him, the bare fact that he could have missed something. "I'm sorry - there wasn't anything _wrong_ with the baby, so I wasn't panicked about it - my main worry over these weeks was your shoulder, and trying to get some nutrition into you." His eyes are full of apology. 

Hawke sniffs and with a quiet "Anders, its _okay_ , really it is!" She reaches for his hand and pats it gently. 

Smiling in that way she had, the one that lets you know it is okay, he smiles half-heartedly back as she continues. "You know me, you have to by now - its just these bloody hormones are making me so teary! I cried the other day when someone gave me a flower - a flower, not even a bunch, but one single flower - and I cried like a baby, snot and tears and everything! I'm not normally like this - if I am its only because this has come as a bit of a shock, so lets get this confirmed, and please it isn't your fault at all. You've been the best healer, more than I could have ever asked for." 

This gears him into action and he places his bag on the side of the bed and without wasting more time he moves his hand to sit directly on her stomach, for a more intense result he gently places his other hand further along her abdomen. 

The small blue flare sparks to life as he pulls his mana from the ever present well inside him, he is quiet and still, trying to detect the life force. 

He had once tried to explain what he sees to a non-mage when he tries to detect a life force, it really is a wonder to behold as it makes him feel part of something bigger than himself each and every time he does it. 

When he enters this sort of state - which is the only way he can describe it - he feels as if he comes out of himself in a way, he can see others but without leaving his physical body, the individual sort of becomes see through, but he can see their pain and physical trauma. Hawke had told him once, that's why she didn't make a good healer as she was afraid of the way it made her feel. Give her a good fire ball and she was quite happy. 

He looks to his side and in his minds eye he sees the veins inside Fenris's body, sees the shiny metallic blue lyrium within his arteries, pulsing and ever present and the dazzling blue glow of his life force at the centre, where his heart lay. He frowns as he almost misses a small fissure of bright bright yellow pulsating in amongst it - at that moment Justice jerks awake with interest - but he forces him back with a bark of "Not now, I'm trying to help Hawke!" and relaxes when he feels him recede back into the recesses of his mind. 

He still feels the steady but fast pulse of Fenris whose sitting next to her, as usual is in good health, but he moves his concentration to Natalia, and without fail is in awe of the heart and soul that beats in front of him. 

After healing so many people he gets used to the way their bodies are made, and the life that is bound to that body. Each and every person has a different colour, some very similar but always something different. 

Its as if all the little moments of a persons life has altered their soul, when he had been forced into healing men who had caused so much harm, he had automatically shrank away from them. He didn't know where the term black heart came from, but people like that had black tendrils choking their soul which eclipsed any of the light that may have shone before. 

With the tranquil, their colours are always muted, as if their life has been stifled somehow, he cannot bring himself to treat them unless absolutely necessary. 

After healing Natalia when she was so close to death, he could not come close to describing how the life force of the woman he loved felt as he healed her body so that her soul wasn't lost. There were times that despite his intervention, the soul broke free of the body, but that had not been Hawkes time, her will to live had been strong, and her soul burned bright still, the familiar luminous yellow glow of her easing his aching heart. 

Looking closely he too notices a small nodule like Fenris's, but this time it was a flickering bright blue. He gasps and immediately knows the cause of the anomalies. 

He'd seen it before. At times, the love two people had for each other bled into their partners soul so their colours entwined like an artist's palette, they were known as true soul mates. 

Never noticing it before with these two, or perhaps he hadn't looked hard enough, his own jealously preventing him from seeing what was now very evident, he had to admit it was a beautiful sight. 

He sighs, but at last he feels his own soul stir and knew now that he could let her go. He smiles at this, not feeling any regret and looks down towards Natalia's belly. 

Yes, as sure as the sun shines in the sky, there in her womb lay two tiny lives, both hearts beating strong and sure, the radiant green blue of both their souls made him smile, it was evident that they were happy and healthy, he could tell straight away what sex they were, but wouldn't be telling anyone soon, not if he wanted to be present at the birth. 

With another sigh, he concentrates and pulls himself back and slowly sends his mana back into his core. 

Opening his eyes he's back in the real world and with both pairs of eyes boring into him, he smiles a genuine smile, actual tears in his eyes. "Oh my - Hawke, Fenris. You were right, it is twins, and they are both healthy and robust little things, congratulations to you both. Sorry that I didn't find them before, but they're the same colour and were so very small that they were indistinguishable from one another." 

Natalia frowns at Anders, noticing he's changed but his smile and confirmation are genuine enough so it can only be for the better, she cannot help but smile herself and sit back against the bed, Fenris's hand in hers, the fear forgotten with this new development filling her full of joy.

As the mage leaves, Fenris voices his thanks at his retreating back, and settles besides her, pulling her close, absorbing the news in this quiet moment.


	22. Reassurance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Just to warn you this chapter is just basically a lot of sexy times re Hawke and Fenris - I can't seem to help myself with those two :) More of a follow on from the last chapter I guess and not really moving the plot along much, but it was in my brain and had to get out, for this I cannot be sorry. I promise I'll work on the storyline more in the next one.....

"Sorry."

Fenris, after a moment lifts his cheek where it rested against Hawkes hair, his hands still from their languorous inspection of her swollen belly, his fingers warm and gentle as they meandered back and forth, up and down in a rhythm that had been lulling them both into a light doze. 

Pressing his lips to her forehead, voice low and rumbling, so much so she can feel it reverberate against her side he asks "What for?" 

Shifting slightly so she can get a better look at him, plucking a non-existent speck of fluff off the intricately embroidered coverlet. "For keeping my feelings from you, that I missed - miss - mother dreadfully and that I tried to hide my fears, not that I could as you _knew_ somehow anyway what I was going through." 

She picks up his hand, turning it over and traces the deeply etched lines running over his palm with her index finger. Meeting his eyes "So I'm sorry for being a gigantic arse and not realising that this was something we needed to share with each other, but I didn't want to worry you anymore than I have done over these past few weeks." Smiling weakly she adds "I miss mother so much, but didn't see that it affected me as much as it did. I guess I had to work through it - that she's not here, but I should have included you." 

Linking his fingers with hers he stays quiet, knowing there was more she had to say. "You know, she would have totally loved knowing there's grandchildren on the way.....um, I haven't told you that having you here, taking care of me - us - it means everything, I couldn't imagine you and I not being together." 

She feels him smile as he squeezes her hand, never tiring of the electric pulses darting between them at every touch. 

Again he rests his chin on her head, puffing out a breath. He'd wanted this chance for a while to let her know how he felt, but this - being part of someone's life, having a relationship - was a relatively new thing for them both, he knew they were strong and would become stronger through moments like this. 

"It is a natural thing, your mother had been a large part of your life. With all that had been going on in this city, I do not believe that you had enough of a chance to grieve properly. We have been together long enough for me to know you, possibly better than I know myself. I am no stranger to keeping feelings locked up, hidden from others, so of course I noticed - how could I not? All I want you to know is that I am here for you, I always will be." 

Leaning further into him, smiling openly at the loving words. "She liked you vey much you know. Of course she was a little hesitant at first, more so because you used to carry around so much _anger_ , but she saw past that - just as I did. I knew you were a softy under all that armour." 

Breaking off as he playfully flicks her hand at that, she chuckles and continues "Having you all here for me, Aveline, Anders and the others makes me feel cherished - safe, that I am not alone in this.....I need to tell them that I'm thankful too I guess, I haven't been much fun to have around lately." 

Running her fingers over his warm palm again, trying to find the words, the light touches sparking into something more, the blood in her veins thickens and her pulse speeds up. Her fingers still for a second, knowing she had to voice her next question and already aware of the answer, but she had to ask any way. "Are you sure you're okay - about the twins?" 

"Exceedingly so." She glances at him again and the sight before her steals the very breath from her lungs, his eyes shine luminous, the small light green flecks amongst the deep moss seeming to throb in time to the steady thump of his own heartbeat. 

Her mouth dries instantly, not able to find words as he slides his fingers through her hair. He pulls her to him and slants his mouth over hers, hands tightening at her resulting moan. 

As always, the arousal flares up swiftly and absolute as her lips open to him, allowing his tongue unfettered access to the warm moist cavern of her mouth. He tastes as much as he can of her, pulling back much later to check she is fine. 

Feeling more than fine she grunts her displeasure and sits up, leaning back, arm flailing towards the bedside table as fingers locate and latch onto one of the few healing potions remaining. Pulling the cork from the bottle with her teeth, gulps the offending brew down in one go, grimacing at the flavour. 

Meeting his curious stare, shrugs. "Just in case - I really don't want anything interrupting this, besides I - sneaked a peek at page twenty seven and....." 

Words again become difficult to piece together at the burning heat pooling in his nearly black eyes. Fenris's cheeks flush dark, his husky voice seems to boom in the quiet. "I would not have hindered you." 

His mouth lies slightly open, pure excitement making his breath come in short, sharp pants. 

Moving to sit higher on the bed and after settling himself, Natalia returns to his side and can't help but stare at the beautiful man before her - his chest rising and falling rapidly, she is in awe of the way she can make him feel, fascinated how their desire never fails to burn bright and fast between them. 

Bracing one arm on one side of him, she moves to straddle his thighs, glancing down as she moves into position her mouth falls open at the evidence of his desire, shuddering in anticipation she only just manages to stop herself from running her hand over his length. 

She takes no time at all in divesting him of the thin cotton tunic he wore, fingers shaking, ghosting her hand over his markings, he chokes back a grunt and skims his own hands down her arms, loving the feel of her soft warm skin, they come to eventually rest on the thighs either side of his own. 

Leaning forward she flicks her tongue over one of his flat nipples and grazes it with her teeth, not rough but agonizingly soft, so soft he hisses in response, grabbing her hips as he bucks against her, his control slipping ever so slightly. 

He sits forward enough so that he can slowly draw the ties of her robe apart, using his mouth to taste each patch of newly uncovered skin by licking and nipping until she is fully naked, writhing and panting in front of him. 

Every kiss adds to the electric desire pooling in her core. Feathering light kisses against the bump where their children lay she giggles quietly - mostly at the fluttering his lips evoke in response, but more so that he's just so damn _agile_. 

Pushing him back against the stack of pillows, he offers no resistance and she hungrily takes his full lower lip between her teeth and sucks. Whimpering as he slowly rubs his still covered erection against her damp heat. At her gasp, Fenris takes the opportunity and once more claims her mouth with his own, his tongue mimicking the steady thrust of his hips. 

With a final nip, tugging and letting his now swollen lip go, she leans back using her thumb to wipe moisture from his mouth she scoots away before he can claim it with his own teeth. 

Not being able to wait a second more she hastily unties the leather laces of his breeches with quaking fingers until the fastenings are loose enough. With his assistance she peels them along with his smalls down over his waist and hips, freeing his hard manhood from confinement. 

The cool air rushing against his moist head causes him to shudder. Licking her lips in anticipation, her eyes gradually rove upwards toward his face, never failing to appreciate the tight sinew of his body and the beautiful flowing lyrium lines but as she locks her gaze with his, without hesitation she gently closes her hand around his long length. 

He's wide enough her fingers almost don't meet, as she moves her hand down, loving the silky hot hardness of him she applies increasing pressure and as she heads back towards his tip he lets out a loud groan and can't help but move his hips against her. 

Still looking into his eyes, the fire in them uncontrolled, she releases him and shuffles down a bit further, slightly glad that her stomach is not larger at this point to prevent movement like this. 

Fenris sucks in a choked breath as she bends and flicks his tip with her moist tongue, capturing the small bead of moisture already gathered on him. He cannot help but sit up and push his hands through her hair as she finally closes her mouth around him and begins to move. 

Its when she uses her hand to apply more pressure to the steady slide of her mouth, that he shouts, voice thick with need "'Talia - I want to be inside you." He tries to pull her up but she only moans and sucks harder in response, using her teeth to scrape gently against his skin. 

Almost collapsing at the sensation, jerking against her helplessly he looks into her sapphire eyes, pupils large with arousal and realises that she _wants_ him to spend himself whilst she pleasures him like this. 

Forcing himself to let go, he leans back on his elbows, allowing his head to fall back as he gives into the desire, the immense feelings of pleasure welling up inside of him at her touch. Only her touch has ever made him feel like this, like letting go completely as he forgets himself. 

He feels her other hand cup him and as she caresses he bolts upright again, hooded eyes watching her every move against him. It is almost too much but he cannot, does not want to, prevent the tightening in his body, his heart feels like it could beat out of his chest, breath rasping out of his throat. 

She suddenly looks up and the love he sees radiating from her eyes, her very face, quickens his pulse further and he moans loudly, willing her to go on, wanting more. Thrusting his hips up into her mouth she squeezes and the overwhelming pressure builds higher and higher, his body thrumming with heat. 

Closing his eyes he grunts loudly, breath hitching as sparks fly behind his eyelids. Once, twice, three times Natalia runs her mouth down him, swirling and pulling on him deeply and the pressure finally explodes, his back arching off the bed as white hot waves ripple through his body as he releases in a rush into her warm mouth with a guttural cry. 

Shuddering, unable to control himself he really does fall back on the bed this time, eyes closed, trying to get his breathing under control. His hips continue to roll gently, electric tingles slowing whilst she moves with him. Licking him clean she lets him go with a small pop, pressing her lips against his head as he gasps from the light touches. 

Crawling up his body, she reaches his chest and lays against his sweat drenched skin, peppering her kisses softly against his neck, the salty tang of his skin making her mouth water. 

His pulse continues to gallop against her lips as she smiles "I'm not too sure how much longer I can do that for, not with these little mites growing, but I'd like to keep trying - until its impossible I suppose. I know you wanted to be inside me but I thought we could extend our pleasure.....I love you and trust you with my body as much as you trust me with yours." Sighing happily she smirks up at him. "I know for sure it won't be long again until we can make love anyway." 

Opening his eyes at this statement, finding his breathing has calmed down enough for him to be able to speak, running his hand over her back he cannot help but hold her tighter against him. With a throaty growl he sighs "I trust you more than I can say. You know how I feel about you, you are my love, mine as I am yours. If you wish for us to continue, I cannot say I object - as long as you are safe and it is not too much. However I believe it only fair that you allow me to pleasure you. Let me love you?" 

His voice is deep with need and he doesn't give her a chance to reply as he flips her over gently onto her back, pausing when she giggles "Oooh, I love it when you take charge!" 

Smothering the smile that elicits he covers her mouth, filling her with his tongue, and after stripping out of the rest of his clothes, sets about turning the giggles into whimpers and loud breathy moans. Putting his hands, and mouth to good use, he starts his journey south, muttering "Now the book has....."


	23. Timing Is Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N Sorry about the too long gap between the last chapter and this one, among other things I really wasn't sure where I wanted to go with this, but I hope I've done it justice. Hope you like, and thank you again for reading. I'm as always, in awe of you all.  
> Please note that there's a bit of violence towards pregnant Natalia in this chapter (sorry but can't help the angst...) but nothing too graphic, so please be warned.  
> I'm pretty sure that Firstfall is in winter but sorry if I've got that wrong too.

Drumming her fingers on the less than clean table, sighing heavily and then starting to trace her fingers over the scarred wood, Natalia looks again towards her brother whose lap was currently full of his new found love.

Trying to wipe _that_ particular image from her mind, she thinks back to the last two weeks and lets out a rather large smile, which dims slightly when the thought pops in that there was only one solitary day left until he, along with Alexia, had to travel the long journey back to the Warden headquarters. 

Sitting at their regular table in The Hanged Man, ignoring the shouts and boisterous laughter of the other patrons, she stops tapping the table for fear of splinters, then rests her chin on her hand and huffs out a breath, concentrating on the bead of water running down her full mug of ginger ale, trying to take her mind off the inevitable loss she'll feel once they're gone. 

Yes, he'd only been back for a short while, but it had instantly felt like home was more of a home to her, like the cramped old days back in Lothering, well, obviously not so cramped, but the constant noise and laughter comforted her no end. 

It hadn't all been sunshine and happy days back then, as there had been bad times, but the overriding feeling that remained from her life back in Ferelden was happiness, filled with a mother and fathers unconditional love and the closeness she'd felt particularly with her Father, especially when her magic had been discovered aged eight. 

Her life had irrevocably changed one freezing night during Firstfall. 

Her mother has asked her to get some water from the tiny well in their garden, but it had frozen over and without thinking, had touched the ice with her hands and melted the thick layer of ice a heartbeat. Filled with fear, she'd dropped the water bucket and had ran to her father in floods of tears, where he'd hushed her crying and after getting her to explain, had sighed heavily, sadness shadowing his eyes, but he'd hugged her tightly and told her everything would be okay. 

When she'd been older he had told her he wouldn't have wished it on any of his children, but was so glad that he could teach her all he knew, and that he'd been proud of her for being so strong and that as long as she wielded her magic with a kind heart she'd be okay. 

After sharing this with Fenris, he had done much to ease the heartache knowing how emotional she'd be - from surprise foot rubs that escalated into full blown lovemaking, to ginger sweets - she'd loved it all thoroughly. 

It had actually been Fenris who had suggested that she go out for a few drinks that afternoon(non alcoholic for her or course) to spend what little time she had together with her baby brother, so that's how the three of them found themselves in the dingy inn. 

He was up to something though, as he was positively smirking when they'd said goodbye at their front door. 

"Hmm...." she thinks. "Wonder if its anything from the now thoroughly used book?" A small shiver makes its way down her back at that thought. As soon as he'd known he wouldn't hurt her or their children, they'd not been able to keep their hands, mouths and everything else off of each other. Things were finally back to normal, no more Mr Broody, thank the Maker. 

However her current mood was tinged with slight nausea, having had to sit through nearly an hour of giggles and whispering between the two lovebirds opposite her, she looked at the mug in front of her and fleetingly wondered how much of the ginger ale would cool them both down. 

Shifting in the hard wooden seat, feeling every knot in the wood digging into her back, she suddenly sits up and stands slowly, with a quiet cough she informs them "Hey, I'm off to the privy, try not to miss me too much!" 

Alexia looks up at her and turns bright red, as if she'd just realised they were out in public. "Shit sorry Natalia....need company?" 

"Ah, no thank you. I think I can make it to the loo without fail, you two go back to whatever it is you were doing." Smirking as soon as she turns away from them, as now Carver had turned a rather lovely shade of brick red too. 

It was so easy to embarrass them at this point in their relationship, besides its a bit of payback for making even the children resting in her belly feel indigestion at their blatant display the past hour or so. 

"Want another drink then?" Alexia gracefully steps up off of Carver's lap and makes her way to the bar after Natalia's slight nod. 

Her brother sits up and takes a long drink of his ale and also offers an apology for not taking much notice of his own sister until now. "Um......sorry 'Talia, promise we'll speak more when you get back to the table, but this thing with Lex, its just....I've never felt like this before, I 'spose I now know how you feel about Fenris. I'm happy for you...finding someone, I mean, and I'm glad - that you're not alone in all this." 

Its such a sweet thing for her normally less than eloquent sibling to come out with that tears form in her eyes and she halts her steps, turns round and envelops him in a quick hug, whispering into his ear "I know, and I'm glad too that you've finally found someone who makes you happy. Yep, we'll talk a little more as I _really_ need to get to the privy." 

He squeezes her arm as she releases him and leaves and makes her way upstairs. Out of the corner of his vision, spies Alexia walking slowly towards him, being careful not to spill their drinks. 

"Here you are....hey is everything okay?" As she can't help but notice his slightly glassy eyes. Smiling softly he pulls the chair next to him closer and pats it and as she sits down next to him. "Yeah I'm good, just realising what we both have I guess." 

"I'm sure 'Talia needs to go be sick from the both of us, I know its not fair on her as I get to keep you and we've only one more night left, so we'll have to cool it for a bit.....but I can't seem to keep my hands off you." 

Running her hand down his leg she smiles widely, not saying a word but grasps her drink with her other hand and leans back in her chair, still resting her hand on his thigh, takes a sip. 

Meeting his gaze, they sit in comfortable silence. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Skirting round the ominous dark patches shadowing the floor just outside the loo, after relieving the pressure on her bladder and washing, she starts to make her way back to the table, noticing but thinking nothing, of two well built men loitering outside in the narrow dark hall. 

Its not until she's virtually passed the both of them, that one of them moves fast and grabs hold of her, pressing a jagged, rusty knife to her neck, with his other meaty hand wrapped round her arm, he pushes until her back is against the wall.

The other man, who was obviously acting as a lookout, whispers harshly in the relative quiet of the corridor "Would ya make it quick Will!" 

The shock of the attack renders her speechless for a moment, one of her hands comes up automatically to shield her stomach. The only thing running through her mind is how she has to get away for her babies sake. Pulling on her mana she waits for an opportunity so as not to goad her attacker into using the knife. 

He's someone she's never seen before, but Kirkwall is large with new folk arriving off and on. 

After the Qunari invasion, the city guard had tightened security at the main entrances, but there were no guarantees to prevent the odd stray getting into the city. 

During the last few years, Natalia and her group had made the streets if not entirely safe, that little bit better, but there were always the dregs of society trying to bring their own brand of filth into a city, especially when there were new criminals willing to fill the gaps. 

He was very close to her and she noticed, faintly registering the strong stench of aged sweat, that he had a rather plain, forgettable face. In any other circumstance, she probably wouldn't have remembered him if it wasn't for the large, angry and deep scar running over one side of his face, which was something she'd never forget. 

That thought alone sent a shocking deep cold fear running down her spine, and at once she knew that this was a situation she would have no choice but to fight to get out of, because if she knew he was easily recognised, then so did he. 

Judging by how he was currently acting, he'd probably spent his life becoming used to getting all he wanted, no matter who got in the way. "Well this is one he won't win." she thought to herself....if only she could get out of this without getting hurt. 

Her _damn_ staff was in its usual place lying resting against the table in the entrance hall at home, they'd joked that with two wardens by her side she'd be okay. 

Her eyes close in despair and she stifles a sob, as her thoughts run to Fenris, but she opens them mere seconds after, steeling her resolve at what she had - no _needed_ \- to do. 

When she'd first learnt of her pregnancy, she wanted to stop using her magic to hurt or kill, not wanting to take a life when she was carrying her children, as if the death she'd cause would somehow taint them, but if it came to it, she _would_ fight. 

Jumping from his sudden gruff voice as he barked out "Look what we've got 'ere then, if it ain't the bloody knife ear lover - the champion herself!" Still keeping his hands on her he pushes harder against her, as if making sure she can't run, the knife dragging on her skin, turns to his accomplice and snarls "She's no champion of mine though, can't get rid of all the elf shite in this city, she seems to have a soft spot for them, plus she's one of those bloody mages, more than likely used a demon to better 'erself, like they all do!" 

His friend chuckles at that comment and keeps his vigil further down the corridor. 

He faces her again, leaning ever closer, the stench of his alcohol fuelled breath making the bile rise in her throat, his teeth have all but rotted away but she can't move back despite the revulsion she feels. 

Leering closer again, he starts to lower his head as if to kiss her, a small whimper leaving her mouth in protest, but before she can turn her head away they both hear muffled shouts and a soft thud shortly after. The sultry voice that follows is a welcome relief indeed. 

"Afternoon all! Here I am bursting for the privy and what do I find - Talia, introduce me to your friend......pretty please?" 

Her "friend" stops what he's' doing and snarls again, whirls round to find Isabela standing by the now dead bandit, the pirates face betraying nothing of the immense rage burning inside her. She was twirling a huge, shiny, very pointy looking knife in her hand that she'd love to throw at the bastard, but she had to wait until the perfect moment. 

Growling in his own cloud of anger at the intrusion, not really giving a fig about the dead man, he was only a paid lackey after all, he reaches for Hawke and grabbing her, faces the newcomer. 

"Better watch yourself bitch, was just getting acquainted with the elf-whore." Putting his hand round her neck he moves behind her, using her as a shield and presses his fingers deep into her throat as a warning, to which Isabela's eyes harden but she doesn't move or speak and continues to balance the knife between her fingers, the silver glint of it shining in the candlelight. 

"Now, that is no way to treat a lady, is it Char?" Izzie steps back and lets another woman past. 

Hawkes eyes widen in surprise, but the hand at her throat prevents her from speaking. 

Before "Will" can utter another word, Charade throws out her hand and a second later the bulky man drops heavily, as he falls to the floor, his hold on Natalia loosens and she's able to wrench herself away from him. 

A small black dart is imbedded in his own neck, the virulent poison taking seconds to work its way through his system, as he lies there breathing his last, a small bubble of spittle dribbling from his open mouth. 

Both rogues rush towards her before she stumbles and take her gently by the arms, trying to put some distance between them and the would-be murderer. 

Her cousin enfolds her in a warm hug as the fear and anger catch up with her and she lets out huge shuddering breaths, small sobs slipping out between each breath. It doesn't help that the mana she'd pulled to fill her body with magic energy, dissipates too fast, leaving her feeling exhausted and shaking. 

After a moment they both pull back and 'Talia breaks into a wobbly smile, after wiping her less than dry eyes on her sleeve, recovers her composure long enough to ask "How in the fade are you - when did you get here? I really can't thank you enough, seriously I - I don't know what I would have done - " Her speech is cut off again as she and Charade are caught up in another tight hug, this time by Izzie. 

"As much as I'd love to stay and chat, for one we need to get Aveline in here to do something with those arseholes, and two - we need to get you a drink. You need to sit down before you fall down, those poor little ones have probably had a scare too, I know I would with that stench near me." Wrinkling her nose in disgust, she makes to walk back to the main hall, comfortable in the knowledge that her best friend would be looked after. 

There's a small shocked gasp and they both look towards Charade who sputters out "Wait - you're pregnant with _twins_? Dad told me about you being pregnant and all, but obviously forgot to tell me about that - didn't mention it in any of his letters! I'm actually surprised that he didn't - ah well I guess I get more family!" She smiles widely and carefully steers Hawke to make sure she doesn't fall. 

The joy that's shown by her cousin, in a large way helps with the very emotional state she finds herself in after all that happened in the last twenty minutes, her throats dry and sore, and she just knows that there'll be bruises in the morning. 

Oh blast it - she needs to tell Fenris what happened and her face falls, he was becoming more relaxed and at ease and she fervently hopes and wishes that this doesn't undo all these weeks of bliss. Hopefully she'll have a little moment of two to think about how she's going to approach her beloved - if sometimes over-protective - elf. 

As they walk across the main floor back to the table, Carvers face drops as he notices the tear stains and very pale sister, jumps up to meet them. Alexia also stands and moves closer, she knows Izzie well enough and mouths past them "Everything okay?" Looking relieved when she gets a nod in response, but she still looks worriedly towards Natalia. 

"Maker, what happened?" He puts his arm around her shoulders and helps her to the chair he'd just vacated. He tips a small measure of his whiskey into an empty mug, only enough for a mouthful and presses it into her shaking hands. "Here, its not much but should help." 

He looks up at the two women standing by them and Charade holds out her hand in greeting "Hey cus, I'm Charade, or Char to you, just dropped in for a visit, wasn't expecting this though." Her hand drops as Carver realises whose speaking to him and she trails off at the look on his face, which was actually displaying anger. 

Grimacing, his jaw tenses and he opens his mouth to give her an earful, but as usual Natalia knows what he's thinking. "Car - it wasn't her fault, these two guys were just _there_ , I couldn't do anything, she actually helped - if it weren't for her....." Shuddering she finally takes a sip of the alcohol and coughs at its fiery taste. 

"Right....ah sorry....we need to get you home - ah shite! Makers balls, what are we going to tell Fenris, he was already adamant that nothing was to happen to you, and he made us promise to look after you." His face actually pales at this thought, but he coughs and straightens as if mentally preparing him for the guaranteed explosion when they finally get to the Hawke estate. 

"Well, we'll hang round here til Mrs Man Hands shows up" Crouching down meeting Natalia's gaze, Isabela softly murmurs "You gave me a scare there, just glad that nothing worse happened, please be careful, wouldn't know what I'd do without you." With that she gives her a quick peck on her cheek and moves to stand by Charade. 

Natalia is overcome at the sincerity that had shone from the pirates eyes, it was a first for her, that there were no snarky comments, or veiled innuendo. Glancing back up at her she also didn't fail to notice that Izzies fingers had gently grazed her cousins hand, as if in comfort. 

Sighing, pretty sure she'll get all the newest gossip later, whether she wanted all the gory details or not, and with a raspy voice, lets everyone know she's ready to go "Well, lets get this over with."


	24. Not Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Argh, I spent a lot of time on this one, agonising over whether to keep some parts in, but then I started thinking that I needed to keep this as it is, including all the dark sections. Although I don't think its really mentioned a great deal - it is hinted at when you fight Danarius - the horrible side to Fenris's slavery and I do feel that if he was to be with someone, that it would have had to come up in some form, esp. if he remembered his past, so I kept it in this chapter.  
> So with that please be warned that there are mentions of rape/non-con, but only mentioned - no details as such, I think that its a horrific enough situation without it.  
> Also I did want to use Fenris's markings earlier on, but I think that by now he's used to keeping them in check, when his Natalia was hurt previously I like to think that he channelled them into anger and took it out on the assassins, but this time there's no one to be angry at....  
> Anyways I hope this is okay and not to worry, there is light at the end of the tunnel - thank you for reading and all the kudos xo

The Hawke household sat silent and still when the small group entered the hallway, their footsteps seeming harsh and abrupt in the soft silence.

"He-" Natallia coughed , her throat still rough, she tried again "Hello, anyone home,? Fenris, Orana?" Pausing for any response and not hearing anything back they then all moved wearily further into the estate. 

Carver was behind her so she missed the way his shoulders dipped in relief, however there wasn't anyway she could miss his huffed breath so she turned towards him. At her raised eyebrow, he just shrugged and mumbled in defence "What? I just don't want Fenris going all glowy on me, so perhaps its better if he wasn't here." 

In the quiet walk home, the shock had worn off for the most part, but in its place lay an aching tiredness and blossoming guilt that pressed against her chest, and the small amount of alcohol she'd been given bubbled in her stomach as indigestion. 

Wanting nothing more than to scrub the stench and filth of that man off her she snorts at her brothers comment whilst softly stroking her belly "I'm sure he wouldn't, not now anyway." 

Even she found it that little bit hard to believe that Fenris wouldn't over-react at this, but it was up to her to handle the situation and the reaction of her man, after all, no-one knew him like she did. 

However, Natalia stood there for a moment, wandering over to where her staff rest, putting out her hand she gently traces the knots in the polished and well-worn wood, feeling the slight spark of magic in her finger tips, the residual hum of it comforting. 

Not knowing how to put those thoughts into action, she knew that they could talk about it as normal adults without anyone getting too angry, but the _how_ was at this moment, lost to her. 

Stifling a yawn, she suddenly sucks in a sharp breath as a wave of sickness washes over her causing her to wobble where she stands. 

Alexia, who'd been watching the banter between the two of them, clasps her arm to steady her and moves to place her other arm around her shoulders and squeezes gently. "Come on girl, lets get you up to bed, you need to rest - then you might be well enough to deal with Fenris - " She breaks off at the other woman's half hearted scowl. 

"Not you as well? Will anyone give him the benefit of doubt this time?" Quickly pasting on a soft smile to take the sting out of the comment, she feels Carver place his hand on her arm too. 

Alexia pats her arm "Yes...well - we all know that he will not react well to your attack, and I'm only saying what we all know what _might_ happen." 

Sighing she wipes her free hand across her eyes. "Look - I just hope he doesn't stress you out more than you have been these past couple of hours......I know Car and I, well we both don't know him as well as you do, but I'd like to think I'm a good judge of character to know that you two work well together, you both just - just... _belong_. Besides I only have to look at the man to see you - and those children - are his entire world, but I can also see that he had a hard life up until he found you. But you're not up to facing him just yet." 

Carver seconds her opinion "You being your hard headed self, you believe you can sort this out right away, but you're not feeling well and you need to rest before speaking to Fenris, at least he needs to see you're okay before we-" motioning between Alexia and himself. "-tell him. Hopefully in a calm and collected manner, and not getting heads removed. I'm rather partial to mine." 

Swallowing the spark of emotion rising in her throat, Natalia finds words have been lost to her in that moment and instead pats both their hands in a hopefully comforting manner, and breathes in a deep, shuddering breath, the nausea receding slowly. "Yeah, I honestly feel like mabari fodder right now, so I guess you're both right, I do need rest but I really need a wash before I do anything." 

"Well that's something I can at least help with!" 

They all head upstairs, Carver leaving them to it, he walks into his and Alexia's room and stands there or a short while, contemplating leaving it on until later, but shrugs and starts removing it slowly. 

Alexia helps Natalia with her bath, filling it with water, and leaves her to her privacy after assisting her climb in to the tub. She closes the door softly and makes her way to Carver who has moved his heavy armour into a large pile, ready for cleaning and steps up behind him, hugging him close with a muffled "It'll be okay, your sister's made of strong stuff." 

He turns her around and meeting her gaze, uses a finger to lift her chin upwards and presses a heated soft kiss to one corner of her mouth and quietly murmurs "I know, Lex, I know." 

\--------------------------------------------------------------- 

Closing her eyes, she sinks into the warm water with a groan, letting it wash over her shoulders and hair as she dips her head further back. He hair has grown a little in the last few months which she finds she doesn't seem to mind, not in the least, for one thing, it makes her feel more feminine. 

In the past she had kept it short because it suited her, especially with all the travelling, besides Fenris liked to play with it when they were drifting off together in bed, on a sofa...in front of the fireplace - he was fascinated with her reaction, as it always made her sleepy. 

Sitting up she grabs the small cake of apple blossom soap and lathers it up and starts washing her hair and then her face, tilting back again, the water rinsing the suds clean, trying not to get water up her nose at the same time. Wiping the excess water out of her now non-gritty eyes, she lathers the soap up again using the nearby cotton wash cloth and starts scrubbing her body. 

The changes were now more than subtle, her breasts heavy and full. Before her pregnancy she hadn't been that small in the chest area, but they were at least two sizes bigger now, their weight resting in her hands as she washes, taking care not to drag the cloth over her nipples as they were overly sensitive. Fenris had seen to that the night before, almost bringing her to release with his oh so clever mouth alone. 

She sighs at that, her cheeks reddening, she wriggles slightly as heat coils low in her belly, the water sloshing with her movement. 

Abandoning the cloth to float around in the water as she moves soapy hands to her rounded stomach, gently caressing the skin, she feels a flutter and smiles. "Hey, sweet babies of mine." Her smile slips. "I can't seem to go out anywhere without getting you into trouble, I'm sorry, so sorry, but I don't do it on purpose, things seem to find a way of finding me, or us now I guess." 

Sighing, still rubbing in small circles, there's another flutter. "I need to speak to your father about what happened today, I just hope he doesn't get too angry with me, or anyone else. It's just that he needs to know sometimes things happen which are out of our control, believe me, I want to be able to stop bad things happening to you both, to him - to anyone I love - " 

Pushing the back of her hand against her mouth she stifles a sob, but the tears escape anyway and start to fall freely down her face, no matter what she tries to do to stop the upset bubbling to the surface, hot and fierce. 

He was so insistent about her being out and about today, she was so scared that all the good and wonderful moments would disappear in a puff of smoke, replaced with fear and anger and guilt. Although the fierce protectiveness he had for her on some levels, made her feel cherished with an absolute certainty that she was safe and loved, letting it go too far would undo all the progress they'd made. 

Having a bath was supposed to take her mind off the worry, meant to calm her down, but it seemed to have had the opposite effect, she was over-thinking this. 

Running her hands down the rest of her body, she manages to find the cloth somewhere near her thigh, and washes the rest of herself quickly. Finally finished, she sits up and mindful of her stomach, slowly stands and steps out of the bath onto the small grass mat. 

Grabbing a fluffy towel she wraps it around her body and marches to the bed, the hot scalding tears still flowing and the feeling of guilt and worry threatening to overwhelm her. 

"No - no, I _can't_ -" Natalia stills and forces herself to relax, thinking upon the techniques that Fenris himself relies on in times of panic and fear. There was nothing in his past that he wouldn't share, whether from his journals or fleeting flashes of memories, and it was the same for her. 

Some nights they'd talked for long periods, until fingers of light reached into the room, and both had agreed that they were equals in this relationship, nothing was kept secret, no matter how shameful or awkward, or funny even - they could move past it, together. 

So he'd shared harrowing details of his past, any glimpse he could remember. When he was still a slave to Danarius, he had been forced to take part in or at least witness awful and demeaning things, to which at first he could not talk about. 

Eventually he had opened up to his Hawke, one memory that he'd struggled with was a few months before he'd escaped. 

Once, at one of the many lavish parties his master had held, he had forgotten his role, and had smiled at a human female slave, because he had seen kindness in her eyes. His master had seen the look between the two of them, and later after everything had been cleaned up, had been summoned to his rooms. 

When he'd arrived, shackled and escorted by two armed guards, even before stepping into the room, the thick, cloying energy of dark magic permeated the hallway and he'd known at once what he was in for. 

His master had taken the girl and bled her to the point of death, her muffled cries as she lay bound on the floor before him piercing his heart, her clothes ripped and bloody. Danarius having already used her body for his own grisly pleasure, demanded that Fenris himself lie with her, but the shock slamming low in his gut meant that he was too slow in moving so the mage had killed the girl without a second thought, and in his anger forced himself on him. 

Fenris had waited for what seemed an age to tell her this particular flashback, believing Talia would turn away from him in disgust, but she didn't, just showed him that she was hurting for him and that he was never going to be less of a person because of something he had no control over. 

His heart overflowed with the love she'd shown him, even after all the bad that had happened in his life. He'd come to her a broken, splintered soul and she'd filled the lost part of him with herself, her love, and they had both become so entangled in each others lives, that he would _never_ be able to exist without her. 

With the time spent away from the magister, he had learnt that he had a strength in him that could and would not be conquered and that was how he dealt with those moments, to meditate and calm himself. 

She had questioned that was possibly why he had been able to run and break free of the evil twisted man and he'd agreed that with the Fog Warriors showing him their way of life, indeed it probably had factored in somehow. 

Making herself relax, she imagines herself in her favourite place, with no worries or cares, which is always with Fenris, in front of a warm fire, him sitting behind her as he strokes her hair, with every move of his hand she imagines the panic and guilt leaving her body with every expelled breath. 

Standing like that for a time, her sobs become quiet in the still room, at last she finds herself calmed. Wiping her fingers over her stinging eyelids, she swiftly dries her body and ruffles the towel over her hair, walks over to the dresser and picks up a comb and pulls it through to tame her hair into something manageable. 

Afterwards she folds the towel and places it on the nearby chair and collects and pulls on a soft blue nightdress on her way back to bed. 

There's a soft knock on the door and Alexia comes in after her reply of enter, carrying a small tray, a cup of mint tea and a couple of Merrills orange biscuits. "Here, thought you might need this." She smiles and places the tray on the bedside table, not noticing the sapphire blue red rimmed eyes gazing at her until she looks up. 

"Oh, sweetheart, you should have said you were upset and I wouldn't have left you alone." 

Sitting on the bed beside Natalia she embraces her in a soft hug and mumbles "It will be okay, one thing I've noticed with you Hawkes, you might be all grumbly, but you really don't like things to get out of hand, and you will make that elf of yours see you're okay. Looking after my family when mum was out you're not guaranteed that someone isn't going to get a bumped head or skinned knee." Patting her on the back she squeezes her one last time and shuffles over to grab the small cup, handing it to her sniffling friend. 

"Here, drink this and have a nibble, will make you feel loads better." 

Accepting the cup and a biscuit, Natalia hiccups and offers her thanks, for the tea and the chat. "Thanks, I guess I'm a little worried about it all, but we'll be fine, using her free hand to softly stroke her belly. "We have to be." Looking up she smiles lopsidedly, sips the tea and takes a bite of the food. 

They both turn as they hear the front door open, and the tea nearly slops over the side of the cup. Alexia stands and pats her knee, "Stay strong and Car and I will be downstairs if you need us." 

Waving a half-hearted bye she fiddles with the rest of the biscuit, crumbling it into oblivion. Rushing to set the tea back on the table, not caring if it spills she turns just as she hears the soft pad of bare feet enter the room after the muted greetings between him and Alexia. 

"Talia, I thought you would still be out, not back home at this hour?" His deep voice resonates around the room and she can't help the shiver it sends down her spine, even though she's filled with trepidation at what she has to tell him. 

Her blue eyes are drawn to him as he walks across the room to stand in front of her, she can tell he's wary at her silence and the fact that she's getting ready for bed at such an early hour. 

At her sob, he kneels quickly and in a flash, both of his warm calloused hands rest on either side of her face as he makes her look directly at him, his lips thin with worry. "Sorry, I - ah, we, were out in The Hanged Man, having a few drinks....and well, I'm fine, the babies are okay, we're all okay....but the short story - there were two men and they....ah they attacked me - " 

For the first time in a long time, out of anger, worry or upset, his markings flare to life, lighting sharp and burning almost white-hot in the bright room, the silver-blue ripples chase down his body and back up, like drops of water in a pond they continue to ripple back and forth until they recede slowly to small incremental flashes. Her mana sparks in reaction, but she quickly dampens it down until its just a soft hum. 

He cannot stop himself from making sure she is healthy and whole, as he starts to press his hands against every part of her body, silently he lifts her nightdress from her at her barely there nod, and tenderly moves his hands over her shoulders, arms and hands, he slows as his own shaking hands skim across her abdomen, his touches getting even lighter. 

Not a sound is made as he continues, the both of them barely breathing in this heartfelt reaction, his green eyes stormy as he meets her tear filled gaze. 

Soon he seems satisfied that all is well, but that doesn't stop the anger - not at her, on her behalf - colouring his next question as he goes back to the faint marks around her neck, his words soft but full of tightly leashed anger as he gently strokes them as if wishing he could remove the marks from her very skin. "What happened? I need to you to tell me everything." 

Not minding in the least that she's naked, too concerned with him to care, she scoots back on the bed with his help, and to her surprise he follows after shedding his armour and underclothes quickly, he peels back the coverlet and moves to lay beside her, as close as he can possibly get without being inside of her. 

She tells him of the incident and cannot help but feel him shudder in reaction as she gets to the main part where "Will" tries to kiss her and grabs at her, and threatens her with the knife. 

He stiffens when Charades name comes up, but she struggles to have him loosen his hold so she can turn to face him, wanting to see his dear, dear face in all of this, to have that connection with him, so she continues with the rest of the story and sighs in relief as he presses her close to him, his forehead touching hers as he looks deep into her eyes for what seems like an eternity. 

"He's dead, so is his friend - Izzie and Charade saw to that, I just felt so damn _useless_ , that I froze, just because I got it in my head that to kill someone when our babies lie within me that it would taint them....he could have..." She breaks off again as tears fill her eyes. 

"Hush now love, we will talk more when you have had a chance to rest. I am sure this has taken it out of you." He uses his thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks and presses his lips to her eyes and face, with every kiss lets her know how much he loves her. 

As much as she wants to let this rest until tomorrow, she kisses him but moves back a little "I know, I'll sleep a little later, but I need to let you know its _not your fault_." 

Sucking in a breath she feels his heart gallop at her words but continues, she has to. "You will forever feel guilty because you suggested I go out - I know you were or are planning something so you needed me out of the house for a bit. Here's the thing, _you_ didn't put that knife in that mans hand, and you didn't make him the way he is. You've said it yourself that trouble seems to follow me. I need you to know I don't blame you, and I don't blame myself - I blame those two men for what they did, they had a choice. Yes it was the wrong one, and they died for it, but it was the choice they made, unfortunately they dragged us into it." 

Fenris opens his mouth as if to argue, but at her clear gaze he closes his eyes and mouth. 

He breathes deep, in and out, for a few minutes and opens his eyes again. "I - you of course are correct. I have - I have failed you once already, and it seems this time I have failed you again. You and our children are my world, if I cannot protect you from hurt, what use am I in your life?" 

"Fenris, you are the father of my children, the other part of me, without you I wouldn't _be_ me." Starting to get cross at his words she kisses him hard, running her fingers through his hair and down his face, needing the contact. 

"You - you don't get to run away from this - from us that easily, you are in for the long haul - forever if I have anything to do with it. We're already as close as two people can be without marriage, and yes I love it when you get all manly and stuff, but I'm here to protect you too, from all that you've had to deal with and from anything to come. We are meant to protect each other, and when our babies are born, we can protect them _together_." 

For a long while she's met with silence, and the day catches up with her, drowsiness creeping up on her unawares, until her eyes flicker open when she hears a small catch in his breath and the sight before her fells her in one. 

Fenris is looking at her with adoration shining in his moss green eyes, and he cannot help the emotion well up within him, when a warm tear makes its escape from the corner of one eye he closes both as he tries to get his emotions in check, he leans into the soft touch pressing against his cheek and his own mouth wanders to find hers. 

"Forgive me for being a fool, I never thought - yes, we are in this together, always. However I will need to work off this anger inside me, perhaps Carver will allow me to spar with him..."

He deepens the kiss and the sultry heat between them flares up, hot and sparking, as his lips latch onto a budding nipple she feels him let go with a soft pop and threatens "If you so much as suggest I can't handle this - you - you are sleeping with the dog, and no you can take out your anger on one of the dummies, not my poor brother." 

A small pause and a deep throaty chuckle, she soon finds his mouth back where it was, and with a loud moan, holds on for dear life. 


	25. Faded Memories and Real Farewells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at last with Carver and Natalia's goodbye - for a bit anyhow.  
> I also wanted to write a chapter which included, at least in part, my view of how the fade appears, and what happens when a mage "dreams". I mean they must have some control over a place where they are aware of what is going on - so here it is, still has more than a bit of fluff in it, can't help myself for some reason ;)

Opening her eyes she instantly recognizes the barren, stone filled space surrounding her. The high, rocky outcrops continuing as far as the eye could see, trailing off to a smoke filled, dull grey sky.

The sun bright but offering little comfort in the once lush green lands, now blackened and barren, with ruins of once great buildings exposed like the bones of great animals, scattered along the path ways the kings highway off in the distance, far out of reach. 

The achingly familiar scenery had burned itself into her mind, the sultry heat from the small fires pocketed around with their dark plumes bellowing high into the air, bringing tears to her eyes as the warm wind whips round her, causing dust to fly, buffeting her hair gently. 

The lack of noise is almost deafening in itself, no fleeting bird cries or sounds of civilization, the occasional patter of falling rocks and stones shifted by the breeze, cuts through the stillness. 

The translucent green aura shimmering around everything betrayed the fact that this wasn't real, just merely an echo of memory calling the world around her into being. Natalia glanced upwards taking in the distorted black mass high above - The Black City - an ever present astral body, almost seemingly within reach, to those who were aware of it anyway, in the fade. 

Spying a flicker of light out of the corner of her eye she heads towards it, momentarily pausing to look down at her bare feet, feeling sharp flat stones bite into her skin. There was no real pain, more like the memory of it, but still fairly uncomfortable. Sighing, taking a deep breath she closes her eyes and just - imagines. 

Her nightdress, in an instant disappears and instead she's wearing a light green tunic paired with soft black breeches, her favourite scuffed and well worn, sturdy light brown boots now on her feet. 

Allowing a small smile at being able to manipulate surroundings easily here, wishing it were so in the waking world, she again starts to make her way towards where the light had originated from, feeling no measure of malcontent or danger. This not being her first venture into the fade, Natalia knew no demons were anywhere close, so had no fear of where her dreams had taken her. 

Slowly walking up the incline to the more open clearing, the once potent memories again flooding her mind and senses. Remembering the frantic pace they'd all kept as they trailed their meagre belongings, wishing the journey over and all were safe, panic a ready and willing millstone round each of their necks. 

It had seemed to be an age since she had been here, faint memories of hope that had turned into sadness and hurt. Moving toward where her sister had stood and protected their mother to her death, the now sun bleached ogre bones were partially hidden by the dirt, those which were visible had the remnants of faded, threadbare material clinging to them, flapping gently in the soft breeze, she softly kicks them aside, small pulses of sorrow squeezing her chest. 

It felt strange, her mind conjuring up these details, as if time had passed when in fact, she had no idea what the place would be like now, if the blight had killed without the hope of renewal, or if the grass was once again lush with the passage of time, but the subconscious mind was a strange thing. 

Looking past those, she notices a small metallic object shining in the dry ground and crouching as much as she can, brushes away the soil, stifling a sob as a tiny, unmarred, silver broach in the shape of a rose becomes visible. 

They hadn't been rich as a family but they hadn't wanted for anything really. Her father to hide his magic as much as possible, had sold herbal remedies made from the small herb garden they had, as well as foraging from the local flora and fauna. Their mother had always been good at sewing, so had darned and repaired peoples clothing for trade in food or other goods, especially for those who couldn't either repair clothing themselves or couldn't afford it as the blight had begun to take many a family member away from their friends. 

So they had tried, as a family to ease burdens where ever they could. 

Bethany had, between schooling and mastering her magic, cared for several children in the village, and had saved for a whole five months for a broach she had seen in amongst other trinkets when a travelling salesman had passed through Lothering. 

After putting down a deposit for it, promising to pay the balance when the trader had returned to the village again. Carver had made fun of her, insisting that she wouldn't see the coin or broach again, but to her delight had, in the end been able to make her purchase. 

It wasn't much, but it had a small yellow gem and was just perfect for Bethany, understated but intricate as she had been. Natalia knew this wasn't real, that this was all from her, but knowing it and seeing it were two different things entirely. 

Sitting back with tears filling her eyes, palming the broach in her hand, she looks over towards the two marked graves, Bethany's and Wesley's. This at least was true enough, they hadn't wanted to leave them for the darkspawn to paw over, so had not left immediately with Flemeth but requested a little time to afford their dead loved ones some semblance of farewell. 

She makes to stand but starts a little as she feels a hand on her shoulder. 

Not needing to look up as she can already smell the unmistakable scent of orange blossom, instead grins and accepts the assistance offered in standing up. Turning to face her helper, wiping the dirt off her hands, Natalia smiles even more widely and hugs her little sister warmly. 

Sill wearing the fitted blue robes when she died, Bethany is also smiling, quietly says "Hi" in welcome and moves back to reveal a table with high backed, comfortable chairs behind her, a small tea pot with mint tea and small dainty sandwiches on china plates set out perfectly. 

Looping her arm round hers, Beth walks them to the chairs, and as Natalia settles, her sister drops to her knees and waits for the slight nod before running her hand over her belly in awe. 

As always, there's a faint sadness that this is all make believe, but at that moment, she couldn't care less as this is just what she needs, the recollection of her sister still perfect and is comforting even though she's gone, she can still somehow talk to her. 

Pouring the tea, they both sit back, relaxing and they continue to talk. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Gently, without disturbing her, Fenris's green eyes take in everything about her, the new dusting of freckles on her nose from the time spent resting in the garden, the decreasing circles under her eyes of which he is glad of, to the soft skin of her lips. 

Leaning close he tucks a wayward curl from off Natalia's forehead behind the delicate shell of her ear, noticing the soft smile which lights her face up from within, he can't help but kiss her, a light touch not meant to disturb, but her lips pout in reaction anyway, as if even in sleep she's aware of his touch. 

He runs his fingers down her face, brushing them over her cheek as he moves back and in that moment, feels contentment, his woman and babies are safe and healthy. 

Frowning at what could have been, he feels the fresh stir of anger and huffs out a sigh, he scoots off the bed with minimal disturbance and pulls the coverlet over Hawke and checking she is still deep in slumber, washes and dresses quickly with minimal fuss. 

Grabbing a soft sweet roll from a newly baked batch in the kitchen, smirking at Orana's tut and hovering out of reach of her mixing spoon, he also picks up a large cup filled with juice, it doesn't take him long to finish both, muttering a heartfelt thank you, he sets the empty cup after rinsing it out on a small table and heads to Hawkes mothers old room. 

With the soft click of the door closing behind him, he stands and checks what still needs to be done. 

The space has been transformed, the dark, heavy ornate furniture removed and in its place a light wood table, book shelf and rocking chair, all varnished to perfection, honey gold and shining in the morning sunlight. The walls were instead of a rich cream and burgundy, were now a soft yellow adding to the brightness of the room, the windows were covered with floaty white fabric to soften the sun pouring into the space. 

He grins as he is proud of what he has been able to accomplish, this was one thing he had wanted to do for Natalia to surprise her. Having met up with Sebastian who worked before with his hands and had crafted fine furniture in the past, he helped him source the current furniture in the room, but Fenris wanted to make the cot himself, or at least add something personal to it if he couldn't. They had agreed after finding out twins were on the cards, that they needed a double cot, or at least one large enough for twins. 

He walks over to the book shelf, which was already half filled with a few books Varric had gifted to them, brightly coloured pictures on the covers, there were one or two he'd even penned himself, small tales about them all written so a child would understand. Sitting by the row of books were small stuffed toys, among them were a few wolves and hawks, Isabela trying to be funny he guessed, but he didn't mind, he was happy that his friends cared. 

That he had his own family now was the best surprise of all, still amazed he had found Natalia in among all the hate and hurt and running was a blessing in itself. His smile slips as he knows there's a fair way to go before he has sorted all the angst thrown up with memories long buried from his past and the confusing feelings that came with it, but with her it was getting easier. He felt foolish and stupid for again saying hurtful things to her, especially when all along Talia had never wanted to end their relationship, that she would be with him always, no matter. 

Running his hand over the chair one last time he exits the room, locks the door and places the key under a vase which rests on a table in the hall outside. 

An hour or so later, the day had gotten warmer, it didn't help that he'd been attacking one of the straw and wooden practice dummies with his great sword for the best part of an hour, sweat running down his bare back, highlighting the white markings and scars running over his light brown skin, having taken his tunic off earlier, cooling in the slight breeze. 

He was nearing the end of his practice, having alternated between parrying left then right, charging, jumping and turning with an agility that never waivered. The sound of clanging metal on wood loud in the relative quiet, Fenris wasn't worried about the neighbours as the high walls muffled sounds quite well from others. 

Breathing heavily, feeling his heart race, he slows his movements until he finally stops, the arm holding his sword lowering. Blowing fine white hair out of his eyes, he doesn't jump as he hears slow clapping behind him as he uses his discarded tunic as a towel to wipe his brow, pulling it over his shoulders. 

Turning round he sees Carver standing against a wall dressed in light clothing. "Not bad, not bad at all, though what that poor dummy did to you I've no idea." It was virtually hacked to bits, the head lolling to one side, hanging on by a thread, the stuffed arms long gone. With a smirk he pushes away from the wall and stands next to Fenris. 

"Talia had suggested I work off my anger out here, it was this or take it out on some living person." Noticing the grin turn into a grimace on the other mans face he starts to speak, to explain, but Carver gets there first. 

"Yeah, about that, you really don't know how sorry I am about what happened. My sister has had to go through a lot, we both have but I guess and.....I kind of forget about her being fragile and able to get hurt because she acts so bloody strong, she's taken down her fair share of darkspawn, Qunari and a _dragon_ for fades sake. 'Talia said that she doesn't want you to be angry at me, or her, but if our roles were reversed, I don't know if I would be able to keep my anger to myself...." His blue eyes pleading for some sort of forgiveness. 

Fenris doesn't know if his next action shocks himself or Natalia's brother the most, but he reaches out and pats him, yes a little hard but without malice, on the shoulder. He huffs out a laugh at the mans widening eyes. "That is why I am out here. Perhaps a few years or even months ago, I would have not been as....understanding. I believe 'Talia and my children have been distressed enough and have been through too much for me to be selfish like that." 

Offering his hand, he's not surprised when it is clasped and they shake heartily. "I am also now aware that things happen out of our control, whether we like it or not. However if it is in my control I _will_ protect them from danger." 

They both walk into the house together to change into armor, and head back to get breakfast. By this time Natalia and Lex are both up they are sitting at the dining table chatting amicably. 

"Good morning everyone." Natalia yawns, rubbing her belly as it emits an embarrassing growl, to which she burns bright red at everyone's laugher, and sits down by Fenris, who has already saved her some ham and toasted bread, he also pours out some orange juice which she accepts gratefully. 

"Mmmm, thank you soooo much love, next you'll be rubbing my feet for me, its not as if I won't see them disappear before long if these pair have anything to do with it." She notes between bites of the salty meat, hot buttered bread and sips of the cool tart juice, sitting up and filling an empty bowl with succulent, juicy fruit. Fenris's hand rubs along her back, she almost feels like purring like a cat at his attention, his hands warm and welcome as the narrow patch of skin revealed by her tunic riding up, tingles in response. 

"Morning sis.....ur...glad you're feeling better as you're kinda eating like you're one of us." Gesturing between himself and Alexia, smirking as the two women huff back at him, Lex narrowing her eyes, he mouths "What?" in response. 

He hears a soft snort and jerks back with an "Ow!" as a rather hard crust hits him above his eye. "You try carrying these babes and try not to feel hungry most of the time, you oaf!" 

"Children, stay calm, we've not got long to go before we...ah...need to set off." Alexia brings the light atmosphere down as Natalia realises this is the last morning they'd have together for a while. 

"Shit sorry." Her apology is waved off "Yeah, I know this had to come sooner or later, but you know me, just a little bit emotional whatever the weather these days." 

The rest of the meal is finished in near silence, but not awkward, everyone just involved with their own thoughts and feelings, Fenris had taken hold of her hand and was rubbing gently and she felt calmed by his solid, steadfast presence.

Their belongings are sitting in the hallway, heavy with the freshly prepared food Orana made especially for them, and gifts from their friends, they make their way into the entrance hall, newly polished armor clanking, but before they can start their goodbyes, there's a heavy knock on the front door. 

Natalia moves to open the door and shows surprise as a messenger holds out a thin letter, his quiet voice requesting Warden Carver Hawke accept delivery. Her brother takes the letter and fishes in his pocket for a few silvers, glancing at Alexia with confusion in his blue gaze. 

The door is almost shut but they hear more footsteps and then its quickly held wider for Aveline, Varric and Izzie to walk through. "Makers bloated arse, seriously we all thought that we'd missed you, there's no way we wouldn't want to see you off in style!" Isabella waving her hand at her face in a bid to cool down a little. 

Varric and Avaline move to 'Talia who is now sitting down, sipping on a cup of water brought in by Orana. 

Without wanting to bring attention to her the dwarf asks quietly "Hey mama to be, everything okay with you. Ah, Rivani told me about what happened. I'm so sorry you were in any sort of danger, my contact is usually good at keeping that level of scum out of my home. Er...if you like I could do some digging to see what he was about?" 

Turning to face the dwarf and Aveline she closes her eyes, nods and sighs heavily "I guess trouble is just round the corner for me eh, all I wanted was to spend my last day with my brother and his partner, that was too much to ask. Yeah, just lucky Charade and Izzie were there otherwise, Maker knows....but yes if you can dig about as he seemed to know all about me. But me and the babies are fine, more than fine, just shaken, I just don't understand some people." 

Aveline's fists tighten in anger and through gritted teeth "If we have to employ extra guardsmen I will make sure that _never_ happens again." 

Sitting up a bit her anger dissipates when Natalia pats her hand. "Its not your fault, but yes I am not going anywhere without someone with me, I just can't take that chance until the children are born." 

The noise level at the Hawke estate doubles within seconds, Blaze is let into the room and as usual bounds round everyone's feet, Sandal and Bodhan wish to offer their good luck too, everyone rushes to say their goodbyes, the two wardens move back to open the letter and the noise dims as Carver starts to read, a wide smile shines from him as his eyes light with happiness. Alexia nudges his shoulder as she leans into him and finishes reading the letter too, and she can't help but let out a whoop of delight. 

"Care to share with the rest of us?" The pirate saunters over two the two rather happy souls and plucks the letter out of their hands before they can object. "Blah blah blah, orders are as follows: Warden Hawke and Warden Frye are not to return directly to Headquarters but are to join a small group of wardens - names and copy papers enclosed - newly stationed at Ostwick for the next year to train recruits and report back to their Commander. They will also liaise with contacts within Kirkwall in four months time upon travel to Ostwick, to report back on darkspawn activity or such developments within the city....if required the length of the mission will be extended...lots of love etc etc - the date stamp's three weeks after you left. Well, well isn't that great news?" 

Aveline coughs and reddens slightly. "Ur, that was one of the reason's I'm here, I got a letter also this morning, I'm to be your contact."

"Well at least we know you, so that'll be something." 

Natalia cannot help the tears of joy falling down her face, her baby brother isn't going far, and will be back, possibly in time for the birth, a soft handkerchief is shoved into her hand, and she smells a spicy waft of vanilla as Isabela leans in and mutters "So glad you're okay, looking positively radiant my dear, anyone one would think it was due to all the sexing, not that I'm jealous - got my own bed pal - but I am really glad you're back to normal, well as much as you can be with two mini Hawke's rolling round in there." 

She pats her tummy lightly and gasps at the flutter she feels. "That....is just too weird." She breathes a little, smiling. "At least your glistening elf didn't rip anyone hearts out, and again, that's good, for you _and_ him..." With that she quickly pecks her cheek and envelops her in a quick squishy hug before stepping back and glancing over at said elf who had an eyebrow risen in their direction. 

No doubt he picked up on what she said but its not as if she cared, it was the truth, for once anyway so she settled back against the wall and took in the surroundings, wondering if she could sneak into the cellar and pick up a bottle or two for tonight. 

Noticing Natalia's free, Carver moves to his sister and hugs her tight, her small frame disappearing easily beneath his own, well as tight as one can with heavy armor and a pregnant belly between them. 

"See 'Talia, some things happen for good, you'll see, we'll be back here in no time, but please - take care of yourself. We seem to waste a lot of time eh? Just know that I love you and I am so very proud of you. I may not be here for you when you need me, but Fenris in particular will be here for you. I can see he loves you so much, and you're stronger together, trust him, he might be flashy sometimes and though I didn't see it before, he's a good man. You're going to be a great mum, but I will be here before the birth, don't worry, I can't wait to meet my niece or nephews." 

She's so choked up at his words she can't speak at first, tears falling freely now, but she manages to stutter out "I'm so proud of you too, and that you're happy - I never wanted to you be a warden, but I can see its made you. Fenris is the only one for me, I trust him with my life. I love you so much and missed you more than I can say. Look after Lex, I can see she's the one for you. You're going to make the best uncle ever. I can't wait for you to meet them either. I will try to stay out of trouble, won't go anywhere without Blaze or Fenris or anyone. You take care, I'll miss you - write me from Ostwick, please?" 

She moves back enough to wipe her eyes and nose, and Carver kisses her cheek and pulls away, suspicious glistening in his own blue eyes. 

After that there's hugs all round, apart from Fenris who stands by Natalia and offers his farewells by way of handshake, they knew he wasn't into overly physical displays of affection, apart from 'Talia so no one was offended in the slightest. 

Alexia gently hugs her last and whispers "Hey, you stay safe okay, I'll send letters too, I know Car sometimes doesn't write as much as he should, you mean so much to him. I'll make sure he takes care of himself. I know we've not really had a chance to get to know each other, but I hope that you think of me as a kind of sister....maybe?" 

Natalia gulps and nods silently, her voice grating from the tears. "Seriously, stop saying things like that as I may just dry out from lack of liquid. Yes, I do think of you like that, even after this short time, Car is a stubborn idiot sometimes, but I'm glad he has you to rely on, you stay safe too as I don't want him alone anymore." 

Aveline and the others head back to their respective homes, but the remaining four, instead of leaving them at the Hawke estate, travel as a group to the main gates, stopping off for a short time to pick up the horse and to their surprise a small black horse is taken out of the stable along with Thunder. 

At Carver and Alexia's confused looks, 'Talia chuckles and heads over to the smaller horse, picks up the reigns and leads it over to Lex. "Yeah, think of this as a going away gift, thought you might want a horse of your own for the journey at least. This is William." 

"I can't - wow, thank you so much. I don't know what to say, really." The small horse pulls at the reigns and snuffles his nose into her hand. "Oh, he's lovely!" 

With that they mount up and secure their packs to the saddles, they take one last look at Kirkwall and head through the gates. 

Natalia turns and sobs into Fenris's shoulder, and he pulls her close, smoothing her hair and kissing the top of her head. Soon her sobs turn into shuddering hiccups and she looks up at him, the pain in her eyes evident. "Look at me, turning into a wreck with all this blubbering. I could do with a drink - which I can't have - but maybe Orana has made some of her cherry pie?" Her downturned lips turn slightly upwards at this prospect. 

He can't stop her feeling sadness from missing her brother, but he can soothe her when needed and he presses a kiss to each of the tracks left by her tears, and she closes her eyes as he kisses her eyelids and eventually trails down to her mouth where heat ignites and she moans quietly as his tongue flicks into her mouth. 

Before it spirals out of control and aware of several spectators he pulls reluctantly away "You have nothing to complain about, you have been through much these past days. How about cherry pie then bed?" 

At his heated look she can't really say anything but yes, and they head back home.


	26. Lazy Mornings and Not So Nice Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Sorry for the too long gap.....but finally here's another chapter, which I hope you enjoy. Brace yourself as there's yet another morning scene, which surprisingly enough (teehee) are my favourite scenes. Basically the lengthy chapter is just some very delicious sexy-times and a little sugary sweetness thrown in (enough to make you sick), so be warned its pretty intense. If its not for you, then skip this one.  
> I think Fenris would be less aggressive and more attentive to Hawke in the bedroom, as being too forceful/dominant would make it somehow feel wrong to him, knowing his history - but that's how I feel and I'm trying to stay true to his character, or my version of him.  
> Very many thanks for the kudos, I'm totally grateful that even one person has read this and liked it enough to continue! :) xo

Not wanting to ruin the moment, she takes her time adjusting to the light filtering through the windows above, absorbing the gentle quiet enveloping them in the warm room.

The silence wasn't the only thing surrounding her this morning. Fenris it seemed wanted to be everywhere at once, not that there were any complaints on her part as a contented smile graces her face. 

One of his strong thighs was settled very comfortably between her legs, one of his arms lay under her head, acting like a pillow - she smiles even wider, glad she hadn't drooled all over him - and the other arm wrapped round her torso, pressing her sensitive breasts against the solid wall of his chest, causing the hard buds of her nipples to pebble in reaction to both his close proximity, and the heat of his body. 

Turning her head towards his face, he is still asleep and she notes that his eyelids flicker back and forth, his mouth pouts into a smirk a short while after. Wondering what he's dreaming of, she sucks in a sharp breath and, not wanting to wake him up, tries to stifle a moan by biting her bottom lip at the sudden pronounced steel like hardness now pressing against her rounded stomach. 

It doesn't help that his hips slowly start to move of their own accord, gently pushing against her in an unhurried rhythm. His thigh rubs against her centre and there's no way she can suppress the tremor of desire arrowing straight to her lower belly - sighing heavily as the friction causes his considerable erection to grow further against her. 

Keeping her eyes on his face, she's instantly aware of when he actually wakes, the sleep in his deep green eyes clearing as she emits a louder moan when he shifts. Before the sound diminishes, he pounces and catches her bottom lip with his teeth. Pulling her towards him, he soothes the nip with his tongue, thrusting into her moist mouth with a super heated kiss, swallowing her heady gasps. 

"Good morning." Is all she gets after he moves back a little, the fingers unconsciously caught up in her hair, gentling as he releases his grip just enough so he can meet her darkened gaze. Feeling his hot breath against her cheek, his husky voice is deep and rumbling, causes more tingles to reverberate along her body, she smiles and replies with a good morning of her own. 

Fenris presses more kisses against her mouth, shuddering as he feels her welcome heat against him as he shifts slightly lower, letting out a growl as she stretches - _on purpose_ \- and changes position slightly, finding himself seated snugly between her thighs, probably one of his most favourite places. They are both already naked so there is no need to waste time removing clothing, to their shared relief. 

He surprises her by pulling back, turning her swiftly but gently, so instead of laying against him, finds herself flattened against the mattress, arms held up over her head, with her man straddling her. Missing their shared body heat, she gives a small grumble of objection which doesn't last as his lips find the pulse point at her neck, Natalia just going with the flow and letting out a harsh groan as he nips at the soft skin there, soothing shortly after with his tongue, she squirms, reveling in the feelings he never fails to arouse in her. 

Sitting up, he releases his hold on her arms and meeting his intense gaze, her heart melts at the fierceness of the love blazing amid the desire - the exact same look is mirrored in her own eyes, the moment is just pure and perfect to them both. 

Blinking then openly taking in the view before him, he leans back a little. Noting the flush on her cheeks, his almost black eyes travel leisurely down her chest, her larger breasts pushed up as if in some sort of offering to him. Not wanting to waste a moment, he bends again and continues to kiss his way down her body, delighting in the fact that he could smell himself all over her, his tongue tasting the sweetness of her skin, the citrus soap she uses for bathing, and something else - something which was just _her_. 

He chuckles as her breathy voice openly commands "Argh...Fenris, put your mouth on me now!" and then in the next second hears her beg for release. 

Nimble fingers tense in his fine white hair as he palms one tender breast, tweaking an engorged nipple gently between his fingers, whilst at the same time his lips latch onto the other. Nibbling softly he soothes the tiny bites with his mouth, loving the way her back arches even further into him. The fingers threaded through his hair becoming almost painful as her grip intensifies as he continues to pleasure her overly sensitive body. 

He feels her tense up as she starts to pant harshly, small whimpers and soft mewls telling him that she is close, but not wanting her to find release just yet he halts his mouth and fingers and she nearly yells at the loss of feeling him against her. 

Adjusting his position again, moving lower still, along the way to his goal lightly presses his mouth against where his children lay, but in response to Natalia's groans and whispers of encouragement, swiftly trails his lips and hands along the soft skin of her inner thighs and they fall open wider to accommodate him. 

Moving his face closer to her centre, he can see she is already drenched and cannot help but growl at how ready she is, her neatly trimmed curls glistening in the low light. Taking her by surprise, he strokes the flat of his tongue along her folds and she bucks, almost screaming at finally having his hot mouth on her. 

Continuing to taste her honey, he runs his fingers along her smooth skin, smiling as he feels her shudder at his touch. Again she demands more with a keening whimper. This he can do, and he sweeps up to her clitoris, taking time to enjoy her taste, wraps his lips around her and sucks, flicking the tip of his tongue against the bundle of nerves between each sweet act of torture. 

His fingers run feather light towards her core and she gasps at the heady feeling "Muungh....yes - please, please, more - just ah - I need you...." her voice trails off as he complies and sinks two of his long tapered fingers into her, finding her so wet, so tight for him, his erection throbs in earnest. 

Beginning to thrust languidly, pushing deep one moment before dragging against her inner walls he angles his digits just so, before pulling back. Natalia starts to thrash against the pillows, grabbing helplessly against the blanket, legs rocking back and forth uncontrollably, pressing against him, then releasing him. Her begging turns into incoherent mumbles as he picks up his pace minutes later, both of them not sure how much more she can take. 

Reaching for him desperately, finding his soft hair, she threads her fingers through it to anchor her to something whilst exquisite tremors run through her body. Feeling her pulse quicken, electric jolts arc up her spine, her body tenses all over again and she begins to quake in earnest. 

When he curls his fingers deep and scrapes his teeth against her, she lets out a high pitched wail as the heady euphoria erupts in floods. Her back bows against the bed, holding tight as her body tautens until at last she collapses, her chest rapidly rising and falling as she sucks in deep breaths. With quiet delight, he cleans her, tasting her essence, feeling small trembles as he kisses away the aftershocks of her orgasm when at last he releases his hold on her. 

Crawling up her now pliant body, careful not to squash her and the babies, he plants a swift kiss on her mouth, which after a second turns into another and another, until they break away gasping. Natalia half groans, her voice almost gone with huskiness. "That was - just...heaven, perfect." 

Smiling at him she moves to sit up again and glances at his groin, the blush in her cheeks darkens as she notices that his length is huge and straining, resting hot and hard against her stomach. Shifting a little she makes to take him in hand to give him the same pleasure he always gives her, but before her fingers can touch him, he moves back a little. 

"Please - I love the feel of your hands on me, around me, but I want to be inside you when we both find release. Can - that is, can I try something?" At that moment she's willing to agree to anything he has planned so nods vigorously, and he smiles shyly back at her, the red flush in his cheeks also getting darker, all the way to the tip of his ears. 

Capturing her face with one hand he brushes his thumb over her lips, his eyes full of want. "I need to you to move to the edge of the bed please?" Natalia leans into his touch and kisses his thumb. With a small smirk nips it and lets out a snicker before scooting to the edge of the bed after Fenris moves away to stand until she is where he wants her. All the while, with azure eyes full of trust, she openly admires the contours of his lithe but graceful body, his light brown skin gleaming with sweat. 

Blowing out a breath as the anticipation builds, her elf moves closer to her and lightly grips her legs. "Can you lie back on the bed?" He quietly requests, he can't help but begin to run his hands over her softly, his breathing becoming shallow. 

"But then I won't be able to touch you." She meets his gaze with open longing and he coughs slightly. "Ah, you will not need to." Giving him a loving smile, she grazes one of his hands with her fingers and dips her chin slightly in affirmation, lies back and the blood begins to thrum through her veins faster and stronger as she waits for him to act. 

Suppressing a yelp when he suddenly shifts her further off the bed so her bottom is just at the edge of the mattress, he wraps her legs snuggly around him. "You need to hold on to me with your legs - tightly." She does just that, hooking her ankles together, her heels digging into the top of his taut backside, her breaths coming in quick pants now as he moves ever closer. 

Taking himself in hand, he rubs the tip of his hardness against her still slick folds and she whimpers at his touch. Inching closer, its a wonder she doesn't throw herself on him as he slowly presses himself forward, letting out a loud husky groan at finally feeling her heat surrounding him. 

Sinking into her gradually until he is fully seated, snug inside her welcoming warmth, letting her adjust to his size before grasping her hips. He begins to thrust at an excruciatingly slow pace, until Natalia, noticing his arms shaking with the effort of holding himself back, clenches her internal muscles around him "Promise I won't break, just - harder Fenris - plea- argh!" 

Her pleading is cut off swiftly as the feeling of her clamp around him is so overwhelming that he drives himself harder into her, loving the way she flutters around him, the sounds coming from his woman making his blood sing with each pound of his length. 

The slide of his body into hers has her gasping but, wanting more, she tries to pull him toward her so she can meet each quick sharp pump, but the hands splayed on her hips are anchoring her to the bed, leaving her helpless. At her barely whispered "Faster" he adjusts her legs so they are lower and quickens his thrusts further, deepening his forceful strokes. Natalia tries to find purchase against his now sweat soaked hips, but her legs are starting to tremble as she nears her release. 

Fenris's hips begin to stutter and she knows he is close too, so she clenches herself around him over and over again and the pleasure spikes low in her groin as she feels the delightfully intense pressure at her core spread throughout her body. 

"Drop your legs now." She hears him ask, his throaty voice barely discernable amid the hammer of her own heartbeat, and as she does so, feels his large head drag against her inner walls as his angle is a little different, her mouth forms in a silent scream as the physical and emotional pleasure bursts all around her and she bucks nearly upright. Finally voicing her delight in a lengthy groan. 

All at once he can see, feel and hear Natalia come undone, his heightened senses take in every small detail about the woman writhing beneath him, from the musky scent of her to the helpless flail of her hands, and it makes his heart soar that he only he can make her feel like this. 

Knowing that he has taken care of his love, grunting, he pushes towards his own end. He flexes his hips once more and feels his pulse escalate as a flood of moisture surrounds him from her climax. He tries not to grab at her too hard and eases the grip of his fingers along her hips. 

Every time he is with her like this, he would say she uses her elemental magic on him as the electric bursts tighten his body, pulses like lightening run up and down his spine, arrowing straight to his manhood, he feels beads of moisture gather anew and roll down his forehead. 

He tips over the edge, surging into her with a quick, deeply penetrating thrust, he roars his release, his seed pumping into her, filling her entirely. His movements slow but don't stop as he somehow keeps upright and rides out the heady sensations still coursing down from the top of his head to his curled toes. 

The heat of his orgasm and the continued drive of his still hard body causes her to convulse once again as she moans "Oh, Maker Fen, I - I'm going to -" Any sort of speech failing utterly as the tremors overtake her and she clenches and tightens around him, rising off the bed as the feeling rushes within a second time. 

Wrapping his arms around her torso as she arches up into his chest, peppering her lips with sweet kisses, he catches her before she falls back boneless onto the bed, whispering words of comfort, his movements slacking as he finally pulls out of her with a soft hiss, her legs gripping him as he eases back. 

They are both spent and languid but he makes sure to clean them of the sticky aftermath, and ensures she is comfortably laying back on the bed before he climbs onto his side, pulling her close. "There is no way in all of Thedas will I ever tire of you - of this - you are stuck with me for good. We're are all so lucky. I love you so much, the kids will too, you'll see, daddy to be." Her sleepy murmur makes him smile as he runs his hands down to her stomach. 

"If our children are anything like their mother, there is no way I could stop loving them. You are all my world, if the Maker granted me this life, I would not have had it any other way. I love you too." Feeling her hands move over his on her tummy and squeeze, he mutters "Sleep now." Yawning himself he snuggles into her warmth, throwing the blanket haphazardly over the two of them, they both succumb to the lethargy running bone deep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

In a rare lazy morning, they sleep for a long while, and after bathing, the growling in her tummy forces her to leave Fenris, who is making her hot all over again as he sits, waist deep in sudsy water, washing himself with _her_ washcloth. 

Letting out a giggle as he blows bubbles in her direction, she makes a face after another grumble and utters "Sorry, the children and myself are starving, so I'll just pop down and get something to eat - you enjoy yourself, all alone in that warm bath. Try not to be too much longer, the food won't stay around for long the way I'm feeling." 

Stepping back as he flicks water at her, glad that he is at least having an even rarer moment of fun, she smiles, loving the way his face lights up, blows a kiss at him, and heads down to breakfast. 

Getting to the bottom of the stairs, she notices there's the scent of vanilla in the air and smirks, turning toward the dining room, the door already open, spies one tanned pirate at the table, helping herself to the hearty breakfast set out on the table. 

There's an open box of pastries resting on the chair beside her, its from a really expensive shop in Hightown, its logo emblazoned on the ribbon strewn box. Blaze having already been given the one missing goodie - to her dismay, the sugar in those most likely to make him jumpy for the rest of what little morning there was. 

Just as she begins to greet Izzie, she hears a whine from Blaze, and he begins to gag. He voices his distress even even louder and he is sick right there in front of the both of them. However the poor thing doesn't stop and he flops to the floor shortly after, making no noise, the only thing they hear are his wheezing breaths. 

Natalia turns to her friend as she approaches her boy, and with concern in her voice asks "Ur Iz - where did you get those buns from?" and in the next breath "You'd better get Anders."


	27. Comforting Assurances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - So....no excuse for not updating for so long...but there is one little one....namely Fallout 4 - then before I knew it - Christmas etc., so my story kind of took a back burner, I can only apologise profusely and hope this update does your appetite justice. Now things are half way back to normal, please find the next chapter awaiting perusal by you, my perfect readers.  
> I felt that Hawkes Mabari, as he was an additional character, didn't really have much of a back story, and I believe a pet is as much a family member as us mere humans, so in my view he deserves more.  
> I have tried to research how long Mabari live for but there's not really much info out there, however to me I think they live longer than normal dogs due to their heritage and training.  
> Plus some downtime with Anders and Natalia, as lets not forget they are good friends, despite all that has gone one before.  
> Enjoy xo

Anders didn't take too long in arriving at Hawke and Fenris's estate after receiving the message about Blaze, and got to work as soon as it was further explained to him. Kneeling down in front of the prone hound, whose head was cushioned by a soft blanket, he begins unpacking a few small bottles and his medical instruments from his ever present bag.

He glances up at Natalia, who up until his arrival had been pacing up and down, teeth worrying at her thumb nail and her free hand rubbing her stomach nervously. He tries to offer her some comfort with a small smile, but he's not entirely sure if she actually notices, besides Fenris is pacing alongside, his arm wrapped round her, softly whispering into her ear every now and again. 

Beckoning the two over to him he informs her "I'm not sure exactly what this is, but the fact that he vomited shortly after means that the majority of whatever he ate probably hasn't been digested, which is better than if he'd still had the entire contents in his stomach. Or it was a poison meant for humans, so it hasn't done as much harm to Blaze other than making him sick perhaps?" Speaking aloud as if almost to himself. 

Feeling for the dogs pulse and checking his gums, which were still pink - a good sign. The hounds breathing had settled too. 

Glancing up at the pair in front of him he mentions "I'm not a specialist with animals by any means, but a little liquid double-baked Mabari crunch aught to do it. Ah, all I need is some honey and I'll grind some up now." He pauses and gathers a few biscuits from a cloth pouch tied around his belt into a small ceramic bowl and crunches them up with a small mortar. 

Bodhan who was watching with a grim look on his face, after having tried to serve some hot tea in the hope it would bring a little comfort, runs into the kitchen, the door swinging madly shut behind him, and a few seconds later offers Anders a tiny jug of honey. 

"That's great, thanks. Talia, you had better sit down and try to relax as this should work. He'll probably have to sleep it off, but I don't know how long that will take." 

Leaning over, he rubs the too-sweet mixture onto Blaze's gums, he then sits back on his haunches. 

Wiping his fingers on a rag, he stands, knees creaking in protest, and walks over to the dining table, picking up a mug of still warm tea, taking a sip he spies the up-market pastry box. 

Izzie who had been a silent observer throughout, dark eyes shimmering with unspent anger, was still sitting at the table, legs outstretched and ankles crossed, in a seemingly laid back state. 

Twirling a short knife held between her fingers she pipes up "Oh, someone left those at the front door this morning, no note or anything, I guess its lucky that no one else had eaten any before poor Blaze. I dread to think - " 

"Yes well, that obviously didn't happen. What we need to know is who sent them. _Kaffas_! Will a week not pass without something like this happening?" Fenris interrupts her with an angry growl, stopping mid-rant when Natalia strokes her thumb over his wrist gently. 

"Hey, I know, I wish this wouldn't happen too, but I think I've pissed off enough idiots in this Maker forsaken city that this is bound to happen every once in a while, but what I hate so much that this affects people I love......my family - " Cutting off as a sob escapes and he pulls her close in comfort. 

Chin resting on her head he looks to the pirate with appeal shining in his eyes. "Would you please get rid of those. Ah, can you stay with Talia as I think it may benefit in speaking to Varric right away, check his contacts to see if anyone noticed anything out of the ordinary this morning - perhaps people hanging around. He could also investigate to see if there were any official messengers paid to deliver them - put a trace to find out who actually funded it?" 

The Rivaini nods in acceptance, reaches for a stoneware mug she'd half filled with wine and takes a large swig from it, planting it gently back on the table with a soft thud, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand "Sure thing sweeting." 

Fenris pulls back as he feels her hiccups recede and gently lifts her chin, using the fingers of his free hand to brush away the tears. His heart lurching at the hurt he sees in her blue eyes, wanting nothing but to replace the sorrow with happiness. "I shall not be long. I will get to the bottom of this, as soon as he wakes I will set off." 

Walking her over to a soft seat, he makes sure she is as comfortable as she can be in the current situation, and pours some tea, sweetening it with double the amount of sugar she usually has - which she takes automatically, her eyes remaining fixed on the seemingly small form on the floor, now covered with the blanket for warmth. 

Natalia sits in a daze, willing him to wake up so she can look into those soft brown puppy dog eyes once more. 

Childhood memories flood her mind and she thinks back to the very day they first met. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

It had been around her eleventh year, late Cloudreach and it had been a lovely day, they'd all been in the garden, the twins being schooled in literature, and Natalia half heartedly listening whilst harvesting vegetables. 

Malcolm Hawke had been coming home from one of his trips. The first thing she heard was the quiet warble of songbirds being interrupted by his deep voice, as he hummed a tune slightly off key to himself as he walked up the long path towards their small, humble abode, the noise carrying in the otherwise still air. 

Dropping the metal bucket she'd been piling potatoes in, not minding that most of them spill back onto the ground, she squeals with delight as she jumps up and runs to meet him, her mothers soft laugh in the background "Watch you don't fall Nat!" Her brother and sister following her quickly, the both of them - at their mothers insistence - placing their books and quills down tidily before running off too. 

When her father was away for a short period at a time, either fishing or off trading wares at the nearest market or town, they all felt his absence keenly, missing him from their lessons but mostly missing his solid and safe presence in their daily lives, whether teaching the girls magic or discovering the hidden treasures of the rivers and forests with Carver. 

"Good morning little one. Miss me?" He chuckles as she runs full pelt into him with an oof and he picks her up and swings her round, to her giggles of delight. 

"Yes Papa, you know I _always_ miss you!" Still chortling as he finishes twirling her about, placing her back on the floor with an arm out to steady her. She feels a little sick, but it was worth it as this was their tradition, although for the last few years he has told her she's getting a little big for him to lift, but he always does it no matter. 

Her siblings catch up with her and he does the same to both of them, with Carver protesting that he's getting too old to be handled like a child, a bemused scowl on his features as his father ruffles his unkempt hair, Natalia bends to help carry some of the packages. 

She only just notices that he's got a small basket by his side. He usually brings back a few bundles home with him, mostly cloth to repair robes or socks and fresh and dried healing herbs that refuse to grow in the area. Sometimes he brings back small surprises, like books or sweets as a treat for everyone. This time though there was a snuffling, whimpering sound coming from said basket. 

"I have a travelling partner today, now he's not as strong as he should be mind. I healed a gentleman from another village, but he couldn't pay me in coin, so he gave me what he could. I didn't ask for anything further. I am not sure what your mother will think, but I couldn't turn him away. 

They both kneel "Oh, can I see it?" Clasping her hands with excitement, she looks to him, her blue eyes wide with wonder. 

"Yes, but like I taught you with the chicks, you need to be extra careful." Lifting the covering back she gasps as she sees a rather small puppy, just waking up from a nap. Tentatively she reaches out a hand, to which the sweet little pup sniffed and licked, his little tail thumping back and forth. "I think he likes me! Can I take him into the house....please?" 

With his daughter gleefully smiling like she was, Natalia remembers her father later explaining to her that he couldn't find it in himself to say anything but yes, promising himself to make it up to Leandra - not yet finding the courage to let them know it was a Mabari hound. 

He told her he had known it was going to be difficult enough handling a dog as a lot of time had to be devoted to training more than anything, but he was always one for treating people and animals with a kindness that never waivered in all the time he was alive. Something that she always took to her own heart, hence the fact she picked up many a waif and stray to her mothers consternation. 

Carver immediately thought he was destined to be his master, but weeks of tempting the dog with leftovers hadn't worked at all. To his annoyance, the animal had imprinted on Natalia and continued to trot beside his older sister happily, then she _actually_ named him. 

Throughout the devastation of losing their father and eventually their home, the memories of them all being together, growing as a now extended family would forever be nestled in her heart. It also occurred to her shortly after he had died, that perhaps he had wanted Blaze with them as a guardian and protector should anything happen to him or mother. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Blinking back fresh tears, she becomes more aware of her surroundings again, fingers gripping her mug tightly. 

He doesn't want to leave her until he knows that the hound will be fine, and it seems like an age before Hawke is jerking upright when they all hear the animal whimper and struggle to lift his head from the floor. 

Anders is there first, checking his eyes and breathing again, his wide smile letting everyone know all is okay. Natalia is helped to ground level as Blaze begins to wake up fully, his stump of a tail waggling excessively. He struggles to sit up, shoving his head into her wide open arms when he does, nearly knocking her over, if Fenris wasn't by her side she would have been. For awhile, the only sounds in the room are her relieved sighs and sob filled giggles and his loud snuffles and yelps. 

"Hey boy, my big beautiful boy. Don't you ever do that to me again, you hear?" Smiling when he huffs in response. As the dog finally quiets, she's helped up and cannot but revel in the fact the canine sticks to her side like glue, probably not wanting to leave because of the scare he's just had. 

"That's things back to normal. If he shows signs of any lethargy, just give him these. I need to get back to the clinic, work doesn't seem to stop, sadly." Anders makes to hand a few of the biscuits to Natalia, and gasps in shock as he's suddenly enveloped in a rather tight - well, as tight as it can be with a baby bump involved - hug. He stills for a few seconds, inhaling the lemony scent wrapping round his senses, before patting her on the back softly as she lets go. He can't help the little bright blush that fills his cheeks and coughs, trying to hide his discomfort. 

"Thank you so very much, I wouldn't know what I'd do without your help!" Grinning, she moves back a little, patting Blazes head, chuckling as she feels the soft swipe of his tongue. "I guess Blaze thanks you too!" The animal tilts his head to the side and yips as if in thanks too. 

Hefting his medical bag in his hand after packing up, they all move towards the entrance hall. 

"Um, there's another something I need to speak to you about. Can I walk you to your clinic - Izzie you too, you can walk back with me?" Glancing at Fenris who stiffens at that request, she turns to him and sighs softly, hoping that things don't take a turn for the worst. 

Taking a deep breath, she starts "I know you want me to remain at home, but if I stay here, cowering like I'm afraid to set one toe outside, then they've done what they wanted. You need to speak to Varric and I desperately need to get out of this house for awhile. Blaze will be fine here, I'll make sure Orana makes him something nice and Bodhan will keep an eye on him. I hardly get a chance to go outside these days, besides I'll have Anders and Izzie with me, I'll be okay." 

He lets out his own heavy sigh, curling and uncurling his fists, dragging a gauntleted hand through his hair, with a gruff "Fine, but I distinctly remember you saying that before. It is just - I would sooner you all be safe and well than in peril." 

"Hey, I take that as a rather hefty slight thank you. Listen here - we will not let anything happen to Hawke okay?" Izzie is now standing up with arms folded, willing him to say anything more, but also knowing that Fenris doesn't mean anything by it, as its plain that worry is colouring his words so she'll let it slide. 

A split second later he nods in affirmation and moves towards Talia, enfolding her in his arms, to which she willingly goes, he brushes his forehead against hers. Anders and Izzie make their way outside to give them some space, with the healer rolling his eyes and at the pirates smirk and elbow dig mumbles "Seriously, its not as if she's going _that_ far." They both wait near the climbing ivy just outside the door. 

"I'll not be too long, if you hurry you can meet us at the clinic." Giving him a quick peck, which he deepens in seconds, heat curling in her belly at each flick of his tongue. His green eyes sparkle with mischief as he suggests "Perhaps we can just stay here?" in between kisses. Sliding her hand up his arm, her fingers skate up across his shoulder and cup his face, love filled eyes meeting his dark gaze. 

"You are such a tease, I'd like nothing than to spend the entire day in bed, you know that, but we need to do this. As always we can make up for it later." Smugly ghosting her fingers lightly up from his ear lobe to the pointed tip of his ear. He shivers and growls "If you keep doing that I will have to have you here, now." 

"Tut tut - try not to keep us waiting, things to do - other than people." Peering round the corner "Phew - the heat in this room. Come on guys snap out of it!" A sultry voice calls to them from the doorway. 

Flushing red, they both pull away. "Okay okay, we're coming!" A small silence, followed by a peal of laughter shortly after and "I bet!" and then a loud fed up groan "Andraste’s tits, please _stop_!" As all four of them leave Hightown. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------ 

A quiet comfortable silence settled as the two mages and rogue move steadily through the morning throngs in the markets, the majority of them being servants buying the fresh produce on sale. Every now and then a stall holder would shout out in cordial greeting, but no one was really interested in buying anything at that moment. 

With no further interruptions, they soon arrive at the dank and dismal entrance to Darktown. 

Hawke thankful she has the forethought to bring some ginger along, more so to cope with the stench that greets them, though with the numerous visits its not as bad as their first ever venture in to the undercity. The smell of hundreds of people living above the main sewer system for Kirkwall was at times simply overwhelming for the uninitiated. Never mind the shouts and other sounds that go along with the more pungent aroma's. 

At Anders sideways glance, Izzie backs off a little, pretending to be suddenly interested in a new patch of scrawling's on a nearby wall, standing next to a fire which was started in the hope to get rid of some of the near toxic fog that had built up overnight in a place such as this. They'd opened the massive boards covering several windows early though, allowing somewhat fresher air to ventilate the area. 

Natalia notices the look between her friends, and is grateful for it, noticing that there's a few barrels directly ahead in a small area clear of people that they could perch on to talk, she motions for him to sit down as she slowly lowers herself onto an upturned one. 

Giving a little cough, sitting close enough to him, she manoeuvres herself so that they're facing each other more directly. Still unsure how to approach him about a subject like this, she finds herself unable to voice the questions rattling through her head. "Oh for Makers sake, just spit it out, its going to have to be sorted out soon!" She thinks harshly to herself, especially as he is starting to look slightly exasperated. 

Not hesitating in touching his arm before taking a short breath, she blurts it all out "You're the only healer I know with enough experience in......well.....in childbirth, so what I wanted to ask you is if you would like to help deliver these two? I don't trust anyone else, I mean Merrill would probably faint or something." 

"I would love for you to be the one to do it. Despite the fact that there'll probably be very awkward moments during the birth - but I've never done this before and its so totally scary. Fenris has never done this before either, he's just as bad as me about it all. I mean I know it'll be painful - he so hates me being in any sort of pain, but this can't be avoided. Mother didn't hesitate to tell me how much agony I caused her for _hours_ , especially if I'd done something bad, but you - you've been around this sort of thing before, so you're bound to not be so scared.....please say yes?" 

Suddenly noticing his grimace, she looks down and drops his hand in alarm as it's turned white with the strength of her grip. 

Shaking out his hand and giving a small chuckle, the feeling returning swiftly to his digits, he takes her smaller hand in his own, meeting her bright gaze head on. "I never thought you'd hesitate to ask me something like that. To be honest I thought it obvious that it was only ever going to be me who helps you." 

Frowning, he swallows back the tinge of sadness his words causes, a lump gathering in his throat. 

Yes he knows he won't ever be the one to make her a mother, but it would take time for his head to get the message across to his bruised heart. Shaking his head, Fenris was a lucky man indeed. 

"You don't have to be scared, I will do the very best I can to make this experience as wonderful for you as it can be. Just think in no time at all you're going to have two little miniatures of you and Fenris running about Kirkwall." He feels the need to gather her close as tears are gathering in her eyes. 

The stubble on his unshaven chin catch the finer strands as he rests his cheek against her head. Sighing into his neck she asks "That is another scary point, I have no idea if I'm going to be any good at being a parent, how do you know if you're doing a good job?" 

Tipping his head back, he smiles down at her, eyes crinkling in the corners. "Not sure anyone has that answer, I'm good at welcoming them into the world, not bringing them up. I do know that you will make a fantastic mother. Just be yourself, you have a kind heart and know right from wrong, so use that as good a starting point as any I guess. I'm sure Fenris, underneath all that broody anxiety, has some good qualities - hey!" Breaking off as he's poked in the stomach. 

"You were doing _so_ well too." Swiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her robe, she leans back from him and starts to get up, but at Anders insistence he pulls her up slowly. At his hesitant smile, Natalia nods and he stretches his hand out and smooth's his palm over her soft rounded belly. "Hard to believe there's two tiny beings in there eh?" 

"Yes, well they make themselves known in the early hours of the morning, don't you worry. If I'm this big now it'll take a cart to get me anywhere in the next few weeks." Laughing at his incredulous look. "Don't be silly, you're the perfect size." He blushes and stutters "Well, they're developing really well, I uh - I'd better get back to the clinic - you should come with me because you need a few more potions so what better time to give them to you." 

Trying not to notice his discomfort - its something he will have to deal with himself, they both walk the short distance to his clinic, Izzie catching up with them but staying quiet for the most part, humming to herself, perusing the many jars on show when he unlocks one of the doors. 

Rummaging around in a small drawer beside one of the cots, he collects a few small bottles and sits them on top of the cabinet, and then continues to hunt through the detritus and hisses "Yes!" when he finds the object he's looking for. 

He bundles the potions into a small bag and hands it to her, trying not mumble the next words. "I thought you might like this, it ah, will help protect you from certain types of magic, if you ever need it. I would feel better if you wore this anyway, its stronger than any potion." 

She takes it and holds it in her palm for a few moments, its a smooth, pale purple, square shaped pendant at the end of a silver chain. Smiling she looks at Anders and thanks him. "Oh Anders, its lovely, but don't you need it?" 

He shakes his head in reply "Don't worry about me, you need to protect yourself and your children as much as possible." Shrugging "Besides, I've got all the help I'll ever need." 

"Thank you so much - do you need me to stay and help for a bit?" Looking around as she loops the necklace round her neck, a small crowd had already gathered by the open door. "Na, I'll be okay, believe me this isn't as big a queue as usual - I've got everything I need. Fenris will be wondering where you are by now, we've taken too much time already." 

Hugging him again quickly "Don't forget to drop by later this week for a good feed. You look like you've lost weight again. I do worry about you - yes yes, you're a big guy, you can take care of yourself, but you need to eat something healthy now again. You dare say no and I swear I'll send Fenris round." 

Knowing that the look on her face isn't one to argue with he shrugs in mock defeat. "Okay will do, I solemnly promise that I'll be at your estate Friday." Holding up his hand as if pledging an oath, making her laugh out loud "Okay, don't make fun, we all know you have a thing for Orana's suppers. I guess we'll see you later then!" 

Izzie links her arm through Natalia's with a big grin on her face as they leave the clinic, both voicing their goodbyes, the small crowd parting to let them through. 

"I certainly hope I'm included in that invite missy. Now you've got that out of the way, how about us having a little chat on the way home eh? I mean I know Anders had a thing for you once - I'm not entirely sure he's over you." 

Giving her friend a sad lopsided smile and nudging her slightly "Yeah, I'm aware of that, we uh - we did kiss once, when Fenris and I were not together. Don't worry Fenris is aware of what happened. How could I even think of keeping that a secret from him? Anyways, as expected, he was a little mad to say the least. I wasn't really in a good place at the time, so he understood.....eventually - that it didn't mean as much to me as it did to Anders. I mean - sorry to get all mushy on you - but I love Fenris will all that I am and can't imagine being with anyone else. Wouldn't want to - don't you roll your eyes at me!" Natalia mocks slaps at her arm, but her smile doesn't waiver 

"Trust you to have two strapping men willing to follow you to the ends of Thedas. Men - I've been there, done that, I guess I'm too picky to settle for one thing......here have a biscuit." 

Taking one she hums her pleasure as she bites into the crumbly mixture "Mmmm coconut, one of my favourites. Now lets go home, I'm sure Fenris will meet up with us along the way - and you can tell me all about my dear cousin - nothing too graphic please, she is family after all."


	28. Room For A Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know...I know its been an age since the last update, but I didn't have a chapter in me, and instead of writing some crappy filler, I wanted to be sure I was writing something worthy of your time. I know readers get impatient, kinda do myself with fics I read so I have felt your pain! It is hard for me to put pen to paper - so to speak, and I know this fic is glaringly full of mistakes, not being a fully fledged writer etc. but I think I've been okay at my first full length story. There will be more chapters to come, but ideas and inspiration come and go for me, so I can't guarantee that it'll be every month. Trying to force something when its not up to scratch isn't how I work and I apologise for being that bit slower lately. I really want to finish this and give my Natalia Hawke, Fenris and friends completion, no matter how long it takes. 
> 
> I'm hoping and praying that you stick with me, as I'd love you too - it will be worth it!  
> Saying that, I do hope you enjoy. Happy reading! As always I appreciate each and every one of you reading this, just makes me full of warm fuzzies that at least one person likes the words coming out of my brain!

Anders lets out a heavy sigh once he pushes the door closed when his two friends leave. He has to prepare a little for the clinic to open fully, checking supplies are not plentiful but adequate enough, and the small medicinal bottles are filled before dispensing.

If it wasn't for Hawke and Sebastian donating spare bandages or potions - even ingredients - on a regular basis, he didn't know what he would do. Being an apostate mage and a Grey Warden on the run didn't really help fill the purse to buy all he needed. He did win a few rounds when they played card games, but not nearly enough for his needs. 

Although regular patients gave him food, such as eggs or bread when they could. That they wanted to give their own meagre supplies as payment warmed his heart a little, knowing that they had even less than him at times.

As the door shuts, he glances at the people gathered outside thinking to himself that its not as bad as it usually is. 

He moves across to tidy up the drawers he'd been trawling through, quite aware that the embarrassed flush in his cheeks was taking a little time to fully disappear. He grimaces and mutters to himself "Idiot, way to go there, showing you're still bloody awkward round her." 

His grimace turns into a barely there smile. At least he'll be involved in her life, maybe not what he had previously longed for, but he would do anything to make sure she was safe and no harm came to her or her children. He did really want to be part of her life, and if only friendship was on the cards, he'd take the second chance he'd been offered, and not being in anyway egotistical, he _was_ the best healer for the job. It may get a little awkward when it came to the birth, but he was sure his healer mode would kick in. 

The mostly silent voice in his head rings through his mind - the voice he will _never_ get used to no matter how long they were joined, causes him to gasp. "You cannot think about diversions such as her at this time, bigger things are at hand." He squints as the echo recedes, its sharp trill nearly cause for the onset of a headache and nods. "Yes - yes I'm well aware, just...just let me be for a while...you know how I felt about her, emotions like that do not simply go away, so give me space, please?" Huffing out another exasperated breath when his plea is met with silence.

After a final check that he has enough bandages, and quickly washing his hands in the nearby sink, he turns towards the entrance once again and turns the small switch which lights the gas lamp above the door, showing his patients that he's now open. At the same time he pulls open one of the heavy wooden doors and he greets a slightly disheveled old woman standing at the start of the queue, who has a crying young boy in tow. 

"Now, how can I help you..." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

They two women amicably along the way towards Darktown's exit whilst the both of them, well mostly Natalia, munch on the remaining biscuits. 

Before approaching the final staircase towards the well lit entry-way, they reach another area crammed with barrels and wooden crates. Apparently it was the norm to just dump them there, but as long as they weren't rat infested, it seemed as if it was accepted. 

"So...Charade?" Now that they were alone, Natalia prompted, whilst trying to find a comfortable, splinter-less seat, her piercing blue eyes crinkling in the corners as she smiles warmly. 

Dusting her fingers off on her short blue skirt, Izzie meets her friends enquiring gaze, brown eyes filled with humour, she grins, not saying anything until they are both settled. 

Nimbly hopping onto a crate, she settles with her legs swinging carelessly, the heels of her soft leather boots drumming against the wood. "Hmmmm...where to start. At the beginning I guess! I actually met her off the ship when she got here...simply ages ago. One of Varric's contacts had passed her arrival details to him and he thought it a marvelous idea that I nabbed her before she could waltz up to your estate. I knew glow boy would _not_ be pleased if she turned up after that Crow thing, at least before you'd had a chance to speak to him." 

Brushing a few strands of thick, dark brown hair out of her eyes, the many warn leather and gold bracelets gathered at her wrists tinkling quietly, she continues "Turns out that fate had other ideas. Sparks flew, the world upended itself and before we knew it we were waking up in a hard, uncomfortable bed, utterly exhausted. Sore in _all_ the right places of course. It was such an amazing few days, minus the Butterbile hangover." 

Ignoring the blushes from her best friend she carries on. "A few days later after she'd taken care of some personal things she dropped by again. She stayed with me of course, and on the hunt for food, we were lucky enough to run into you and those exceptionally rough bastards and that as they say, is history." 

Chuckling, Natalia shifts against a bright red barrel, smirking at the constant good humoured piss taking "Hey, my man has a name, I would love it if you used it at least once, please? Also - a tiny bit too much info for my poor ears, and my poor babies to hear. So...is...ur, is it serious? I mean are you happy, I really want you to be - and what _is_ Butterbile?" 

Leaning against the same make-shift chair, she nudges Natalia gently, a small smile appearing on her darkly tanned face. Sighing dramatically "I knew as soon as you found out, that's the first thing you would ask, its so your thing." Glancing sideways she continues after a short silence. 

"You know, when we first met, I thought you and I could have had something, but you were an innocent, didn't get hardly any of my comments laden with innuendo. Some of them were my best you know, but nothing, or if there was you just stuttered excuses and all but ran away - it was almost too funny. You clearly didn't fancy me at all, but turns out you were really into shiny, manly elves with anger issues. Not that I minded. You are gorgeous, but no connection whatsoever. You're more like a sister to me - one that I'd do anything for, especially now." 

Waggling a ring adorned finger, she tuts jokingly. "Apart from looking after two squirming, screaming children of course. I'd need Varric as back up for that, his chest hair can occupy one of them I think, it is rather mesmerizing." Pursing her lips thoughtfully, she takes another moment and continues "I see you and Fenris, how utterly happy you both are - well after your got back together of course, and...at first it...sort of hurt, you know, to see that and not have it for myself. I had thought I was jealous of him, or you, maybe both - but I was just hoping for even a tenth of something like that. I didn't think that I'd ever have anyone to care about me, properly. Like I'd matter to someone if I were to get hurt, or worse." 

Fiddling with her bracelets, seeming a little more than uncomfortable with the flow of conversation, not used to being so direct, she shrugs. "I'm not even talking about a lover being there for me, though that'd be fantastic - just having a person give two shits would be nice. Until you came along of course. I don't think you've really noticed how you keep everyone together like some sort of mama bear, looking out of each and every one of us." 

Sighing heavily, pulling herself up as if noticing the "little chat" had gotten all too serious, she carries on "Sometimes I think that we take you too much for granted, that you're always going to be there, no matter what. You're going to actually be a mama for real, no matter how the circumstance. Children change things, completely - but you being you, will find a way to continue looking after us in your own way. I just wish that you'd let us take care of you. We want to, if only you'd let us." 

Slipping an arm around her shoulder, Natalia rubs her arm in comfort "Yeah, I wasn't used to anyone being that obvious about attraction and you sort of...ah...were there and all bosomy and full of self confidence. I didn't know how to react - just felt embarrassed that I couldn't tell you I wasn't interested. Then Fenris came along and no one else mattered to me in that way. Lord knows it was a difficult start to the relationship, but we both got through it - hiccups and all. I can't say its easy all the time, but that's how we grow I guess. We are closer than ever." 

"I know I've to rely on others, but for so long it was me looking out for Mother, Beth and Carver, so its a little hard for me to accept that others want to do things for me. I _will_ try to let you guys do more, especially now" She rubs her belly softly with a small smile. "I hope you give Char a chance, she's family and you both need a little happiness in your life. Though if you hurt her, I'm not beyond firing the odd fireball up someone's behind - though you'd probably enjoy that a little too much I think!" 

With a twist of her lips in her own wry smile Izzies huffs a little at that "We are taking it slow, which obviously means we - well, I think it might be something, but I really don't want to hex it or anything." 

Shaking her head a little as if to clear it, she claps her hands together and brings an end to their conversation "Well, this has gotten really heavy. I blame you, its what happens when people get in the family way. No late nights, no booze, and you start having talks about life, trying to set the world to rights. Being sober and having way too many responsibilities is no fun at all I tell you." 

Helping Natalia up off her perch, her hand lingers on her arm, fingers playing with a thread that had worked itself loose after snagging on one of her gold bangles. "To answer your question, yes I am happy, for the moment at least. Things in my life don't stay the same for long enough for me to think long term - or they didn't used to. I'm not going anywhere, nor Charade, so we're good." Stepping away, her hand drops "So, are you happy we're happy or you need more deep and meaningful?" Dark eyes rimmed with Khol twinkle with laughter. 

Smiling like the cat who got the cream, she softly shakes her head "Na you loveable rogue, I'm good - now lets get going, despite the snack I'm famished, eating for three you know!" 

They walk on arm in arm, she quickly adds "You already know that I'll somehow talk you round into at least one or two nights of child-minding, Varric included." 

Echoes of throaty laughter trails in their wake with the quiet promise of a gift of one bottle of Butterbile being offered if no one was dragged into baby-sitting duty they walk unhurried out of Darktown. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

A few weeks later...

Warm calloused fingers press softly over her eyes as she leans heavily against Fenris, his breathing hitches as her bottom bumps against him when she fails to step forward as he does, not entirely on purpose as she smirks with glee. 

Natalia feels his warm breath against her neck as he quietly grumbles so that only she can hear "You did that on purpose, not that I mind, but I would rather not take you on the floor in front of our friends. It may shock them." Green eyes glance forward toward the Rivaini and he adds "Perhaps not all. However I want to keep our private life just that, so let us keep moving." 

Laughing out loud "Okay, okay I'm sorry!" She squeezes his arm in apology and they move slowly up the stairs. "I guess I'm just so excited. I may need the privy again, don't forget my bladder seems to have dwindled to the size of a pea." 

"Come on you two, stop dawdling!" Natalia hears the mock irritation in Varric's voice from somewhere in front of them as they near one of the bedrooms. 

Fenris had already given Sebastian the room key, hidden all these weeks from Hawke, so there is no need to take his hands from her face, prolonging the excitement. 

The door to the new nursery is pushed all the way open once finally unlocked for good, as they make their way into the brightly lit room, the sun pouring through the newly washed windows. 

He had feared at one point she would have tried to blast the door down in frustration, blaming herself for losing the only key to the room one afternoon when she had suddenly thought to start to work on her mothers old room, to prepare for the children's arrival - not knowing he had secretly been working for weeks on the same thing. However, he had managed to placate her by suggesting they take a trip to the locksmith, which was interrupted by - not so - chance meeting with Merrill and Varric who then decided to go for food and before they knew it, time had flown and all the stalls and shops were closed. 

With the addition of letters from Carver, various outings into Hightown and the Chantry she had been kept busy enough until he had accomplished what he needed to. 

They'd also gotten to the bottom of the poisoned food that Blaze had the misfortune to digest, someone with a grudge against elves, no one of great importance, just a second cousin of one of Natalia and Fenris's neighbours who had taken it upon themselves to be vindictive. 

Apparently they were meant to be delivered directly to Orana, but the note had gotten lost, and the messenger hadn't been paid enough to care how they got to the house, it was a wonder the boy hadn't have eaten them himself. Varric with his close network of spies had soon uncovered the culprit and Aveline had taken great pleasure in imprisoning them until their sentence. 

With baited breath he releases his hands and with a small smile says "Open your eyes Talia". She does just that and blinks, eyes adjusting to the bright light. 

It doesn't take too long before she's gasping in delight as she takes in the beautifully crafted furniture in front of her, her eyes shining with wonder. Moving to the book shelf now overflowing with tomes of various sizes. With another soft gasp, she turns to look at Varric, who is grinning and blushing at the same time "You wrote _all_ of these?" 

Running her hands over one book, she can't help but pick it up, its title making her chuckle "The Mage Princess and the Elf Warrior - might be a little advanced for them first thing, but how can I thank you, you've put so much work into all of this." As she puts the small book back, Varric shrugs and replies "Hey, there's nothing really fun for the little tikes to read out there, so who better than little old me to give them stories they'd actually want to hear? Plus I could just imagine daddy Fenris reading to them in that manly voice of his." 

Natalia moves over to the tiny fluffy cuddly animals lined up on one shelf, she laughs all the while and shakes her head at the birds and wolves staring back at her. She pulls out the drawers of a dainty chest, half filled with hand made children's clothes in many colours, her hands lovingly caress in wonder and awe. 

The wall closest to her had been adorned with brightly coloured paintings. With dramatic scenes from the sea, small ships pitting themselves against a choppy ocean, leading to forests and flowers of every variety. Skimming her fingers over green trees housing bright colourful birds, she knows who created the amazing landscapes before her. "Seb, whenever did you find the time to - and how in the fade did I not notice all of this going on?" she shakes her head "- I just love it all, so much, how can I ever thank you?" 

Sebastian coughs and shrugs as Varric had "Fenris it seems is part rogue I think, we moved a lot of this when you were either out or napping, but you were kept busy for the most part, we had to - on pain of death if you found out about it. For all you've done for us, there isn't anything we wouldn't do for you, you know that." 

Tears slip silently and unnoticed down her cheeks as her gaze finally rest on the large, intricately carved cot which is the centerpiece of the perfectly furnished room. "Oh Maker, it's all so beautiful!" Her hands fly to her mouth, as her eyes crinkle with disbelief. 

There's a small mobile hanging over it with boats and various sea creatures spinning slowly, the hanging creatures sparkle in the light - one of Izzies purchases, it fits right in with the walls design and will be entertaining for the babies. 

Moving round to the side of the cot she sees that leaves have been carved into the golden wood, the foliage surrounds an male elf embracing a human woman, two children beside them, one at each side. It was beautiful and so very detailed, she knows that a lot of love was put into this, as well as everything else, its almost too much to take. 

Spinning round to Fenris she asks "When did you do all of this? The key, I knew I hadn't misplaced it! Wait 'til I get you alone. However did you manage, I mean I know I'm not observant but - " She shrugs and runs her hand over the sides of the cot, he reaches out and grasps her free hand, with the other he wipes stray tears away. 

"I am sorry for keeping this from you, we all wanted to do something for you and all pitched in, but I wanted to give you something that was from me, _just_ me. Sebastian helped source the majority of the furniture, but I wanted to craft where our children would sleep myself. I hope you like it." Half a smile appears on his face as he blushes just a little in response to Hawkes open joy, especially with everyone gathered for this moment. 

Throaty snickering behind them "I think you did that already lover boy!" Followed with an "Ouch, watch where you stick that thing!" 

Grasping her man's arms she pulls him in for a squishy hug and mutters close into his ear "It's truly wonderful, I adore you so much." Smiling for the hundredth time when she feels him shiver in response to her warm breath as it flutters against his pointed ear. 

He pulls her even closer in a rare display of open affection and whispers "There is nothing I want more than to see our boys - or girls - in here, healthy and happy. Now shall we go eat the magnificent feast prepared for us and our friends? Merrill and the apos- ummm...Anders will be along later with their gifts." He brushes her lips against her cheek before she moves back, and nods to him, flushing in response to his words. "Yep, though I need to go to the loo first, but won't be far behind you all." 

Aveline stands to the side, holding something behind her back, and after everyone leaves to head down to the dinner table, she shuffles forwards and coughs. "I know we've not spent much time together recently, I'm sorry for that, but the guard have been busier than usual, what with the influx of refugees..." Stopping at Natalia's raised eyebrow, she snickers "Oh, sorry! I ah, I have something for you, I hope you like it." 

Pulling her arms from behind her back she thrusts her hands out and Hawke grabs a large soft blanket, but after unfolding it notices its not just a blanket, large squares of fabric have been embroidered onto it, familiar faces look up to her. Each square section has been designed with her friends likeness. "I thought it would be nice to have all of us in one place in one form or another. We all seem to find it harder these days to be here together, though did have some help. I can sew a little, learnt when I was young, but couldn't do it all." She helps spread the blanket over the cot and manages to almost hide her shock when she's roughly snapped up in a tight hug. 

Talia's loud sniffing makes her pull back with a grin. "Hey no more tears, at least I hope they're happy ones and not in horror at my lack of skills?" She steps back and chuckles at the soft nudge she received from her best friend. "You need to stop doing that, putting yourself down, its beyond amazing what you've all done for me. I'm just so overjoyed that you're all here - well you will be when the others finally show up." 

Swiping the fast drying tears, she hesitates before quietly asking "Umm, I know its a lot to ask, but I - can you do something for me?" There is not a hint of hesitation in Avelines reply. "Anything, what do you need?" 

"I would love it if you're here when the babies come, please. I'm terrified, even with Fenris being so strong I just need a little sisterly support through my labour. You also have an amazingly high tolerance for pain, so you need to be there to hold my hand." 

Taking care not to crush her, she pulls back and sees the tiny sliver of fear running through Talia's eyes. Pursing her mouth, hating not being able to extinguish the emotion, Aveline answers swiftly "There's no place I'd be but at your side, though I might just stay at the top end through the birth itself, but I'll be there however you need me. However at this moment in time you need to go to the loo, and then we can go get something to eat - I heard your stomach from across the hallway earlier!" 

Giggling, they separate but walk closely side by side out of the room, and with a soft click the new nursery is once more quiet in the bright sunshine.


End file.
